A little piece of broken heart

Old 08-09-2014, 05:12 PM
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SeriousKarma...you seem worried about how your daughter views you.

She has absolutely no right to sit in judgement of you!!!!!!!!!!

She has not walked in your shoes. If she ever makes a demeaning remark to you about crying (even in humor)...just tell her (sweetly) that her opinion of your emotions are none of your business. End of discussion. You need not be ashamed of how you FEEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Old 08-09-2014, 05:18 PM
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Yeah, the whole purpose was always to keep people deployable. That focus might change now with the wars winding down. People who might have been able to keep it together for a time, especially with long deployment periods where regular drinking was extremely difficult, are now going to be stateside, falling into that pattern of the military being more like a 9 to 5 job so it's much easier to get into trouble.
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Old 08-09-2014, 06:18 PM
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I just reread my post Dandylion, and can see where you may have misunderstood. When I said healthy sense of humor I wasn't being sarcastic. I actually meant "healthy sense of humor". My daughter and I laugh a lot about these sorts of things. Believe me, I'm laughing right along with her. Crying and laughing at the same time. What a sight.

I worry about a lot of stuff, but how my daughter views me, now that you mention it, is the one thing that I feel fairly confident about. We've been through a lot together and I thinks she understands, as best she can at her age, how difficult it's been for me.

I do appreciate your concern though. Teenagers, even the best of them, sometimes need a reminder. So I'll pocket your advice for another time when I'm sure it will come in handy. Thanks again.
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Old 08-09-2014, 06:25 PM
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Oh, SeriousKarma...you are right....I did misunderstand that. I also think that I got that crossed, a bit, from someone else's thread.
I am so glad that you pointed it out to me!!!!!

You are lucky that you have a sweet daughter to share your emotions with, sometimes.

Please accept my apology......

(I want to keep my Karma in good shape)

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Old 08-09-2014, 06:46 PM
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No apologies please! Good advice is good advice.

Trust me, she's not sweet all the time. And, when the stress of her father's issues weigh heavy on her, sometimes that unsweetlyness can be aimed straight at me. I am learning that I do have to enforce boundaries with her as well as the addict in my life. Maybe not about her laughing at my overly healthy, stress-releasing tear ducts, but about other things. So, like I said, your advice is still appreciated.
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Old 08-10-2014, 08:09 AM
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Thanks, SeriousKarma.

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Old 08-10-2014, 01:02 PM
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Anvilhead, let me assure you. I know how to put my big girl panties on.

I'm not whimpering, or whining, or crying out of turn.


i'm sorry that was your interpretation of my (cough cough) wisdom...I never once thought you were whimpering or simpering or feeling sorry for yourself! only that your estranged husband just isn't CAPABLE of holding a true conversation about anything of any merit.

I love the oldtime saying "save your breath to cool your soup" - you could write a letter, nail it to a 2x4 and whack him over the head and the "message" would penetrate no farther than your words. it's frustrating as HELL.....you spent 25 (ish) YEARS with this man and it turns out he doesn't even speak your language.

your relationship with your daughter sounds lovely. just yesterday my 31 yr old "baby girl" and I went to the Mariners game to see Sweet Lou inducted into the M's Hall of Fame. and we had the best time. we met up at 2:30 and got back to our cars at 10:30 pm. we teared up during Lou's speech while the crowd thundered LOUUUUUUUU, we laughed at the funny anecdotes, we both picked the green boat for the hydro race, got our fill of nitrates, shared nachos with white cheese that she said she never would have tried on her own and thanked me for opening her mind! we ragged about our partners inabilities to manage housework, she shared new money saving app with me..........she even snuggled her head on my shoulder later in the evening when she got tired. I don't care WHAT else has happened in my life, what heartaches or setback, imperfect choices or disappointments, my relationship with her is today a crowning achievement.
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Old 08-10-2014, 01:20 PM
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Originally Posted by AnvilheadII View Post
[I] "save your breath to cool your soup"
I love it. Maybe I should get this tattooed to my forehead.

And about you and your daughter...Such a great little story. Thanks for sharing that. That's what it's all about, isn't it? Simple pleasures with no BS.

I just have to keep my eye on the prize. (And the tattoo on my forehead.)
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Old 08-10-2014, 01:27 PM
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but if you put it on your forehead, won't you have to spell it backwards so you can READ it in the mirror? puos ruoy looc ot htaerb ruoy evas

maybe forearm or palm of hand?? LOL

I truly admire you Miss Karma...
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Old 08-10-2014, 01:52 PM
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"Is that Latin on your forehead?"

"No, it's backwards!"

Between my frequent crying jags, and the cryptic graffiti on my forehead I'll make a lovely sight. I'm really going to test my daughter's healthy sense of humor now. This should be fun!

Thanks Anvilhead, the admiration goes both ways. You're truly valuable here.
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