I feel the same way with the 1 step forward, 10 back. I can also relate to thinking he is out having a good time while I take care of the kids. Now I see it differently. He is fighting a horrible illness and struggling. I am making memories with my kids and strengthening my relationship with them. Time with the kids is something he can never get back.

Butterfly, going to university is a big step---and I think you will find that that will turn your ;mind in other directions....cut down on the obsession with him.

There will be m ore dopamine in your brain---and that is a good thing...a very GOOD thing!!

dandylion

Thank you everyone. If he wants to know how she is getting on then that's his responsibility not mine to keep him updated unless there is something serious. It will be interesting to see how the next few weeks turn out I can't imagine he will be too happy with my lack of updates but I really don't care!!

Yes I think university will be a turning point for me I will either thrive or collapse with exhaustion lol. But I do think that the more time that goes by with no contact and doing things for me will stop me obsessing over him.

Your right time with the kids is soMething I love and he is losing out and will never get this time back again. It annoys me that he sees them once a week maybe throws money at them, gave dd £100 for holidays and I couldn't give her anything and I do get upset about that but I have to feel myself in and remember that I'm here at home looking after loving them supporting them and providing them with stability through a difficult time for them and that will mean more to them down the line than money.