AnvilheadII

it occurred to me that he doesn't have to be homeless. There are plenty of sober living places he could turn to

or he could rent his very own apartment, just like other grown ups! you know, that whole pay your own way thing? whatever he does, all those choices belong to HIM.

BlueChair

Giant ((hugs)) Im sorry, and I know it hurts but I believe in the end you will use this whole experience to make you stronger, and it will help you obtain the life you want. Right now it just s*cks.

readerbaby71

He's going back to rehab. He drank almost 175 ml of vodka the other night and he's terrified for his life. He should be. I am relieved that he's choosing rehab for himself, as it will make this whole transition much easier for me. I can only detach so much when I care about someone and knowing he's safe will allow me to focus on me and my own life.

This morning I was filling up the container of dog food and the huge bag ripped and fell all over the floor. I lost my it, screaming obscenities and bursting into tears. I'm sure I scared the sh!t out of my sister and BF. I let them clean it up.I ran to my room and cried for a while, then got myself ready for therapy.

It was such a relief to be able to go and talk about all this. I can't go that often because I have a pretty high copay ($60). I've been seeing my shrink for 7 years and he knows me so well. I feel tons better and it's a beautiful day. We also talked about I have to stop selling myself short when it comes to my career and start getting paid what I'm worth (especially by my old crazy boss). It was a good session.

As always, thank you so much for your support. It's helping me a lot right now. xoxox

readerbaby71

Just wanted to add, at the end of our session my shrink said, "I know you're in a lot of pain right now and letting go is hard for you, but you seem like you're doing really well and you're strong. I can see it in your face and the way you carry yourself. Hang in there and take care of yourself. Throw yourself into your work and keep working toward the life you want. I believe you're much more talented and resourceful than you let on."

I have to say that made me feel good.

hopeful4

RB...you have went through so much, but your positive frame of mind is very impressive!! THANK YOU....for your friendship and encouragement. SR is a great thing, and the people on here are amazing!!!

Tight, Tight Hugs!

FireSprite

Well, I think THAT says it ALL! Coming from such a trusted source who knows you so well & has likely seen you are your worst, that's HIGH PRAISE!!! Stay strong, you continue to be such an inspiration to so many of us here at SR!



I'm so glad he is reaching out for solutions, I don't doubt that he's scared boneless, change is never easy.

((((((((HUGS)))))))).... d@mn dog food.

Hawkeye13

I think you're amazing too. . .
All of us do around here

How is that crazy exploiting old boss of yours?
Managed to run her business into the ground yet?
Still wants you to save her?
Hmmmm. . .

queenapple

175ml is less than 6 ounces, probably not nearly enough to faze an alcoholic, in case he threw that number out to panic you and make you feel bad for him. 30 ml equals 1 ounce.

readerbaby71

whatever a regular-sized bottle of vodka is, that's what he drank. 750 ml. sorry! he didn't tell me the number. I thought that's what a reg size bottle was.

queenapple

Yes, that's a bit more scary!

readerbaby71

Ahahahah......that made me laugh so hard. As a matter of fact, yes. Her business is suffering. Oh well. When I am more financially solvent in my freelance business I am going to drop her as a client. She is just as toxic as ever, but at least I only have to speak to her a few times a month.

CodeJob

Just checking in on ya Reader Baby! Do you read the Deborah Harkness books?

readerbaby71

No, but I just looked her up and I'm intrigued!