Committed Father
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 3
Committed Father
Hello,
I am new and I searched your forum just to have some opinions that understand.
In 2007 my dad had an OWI. He had been drinking many years. To be honest I was glad he finally got caught. There were many times when he drove home and after he passed out I had to hide keys or disable batteries so he wouldn't leave again. I was on the verge of calling the law myself but luckily I didn't have to.
In 2012 my dad and his girlfriend ( 30 years younger ) decided to party. He fell down the stairs. This gal didn't call the police but a friend to come over and see if my dad would be ok. This friend called an ambulance and dad was airlifted to a bigger hospital. He had a fractureds skull, 8 broken ribs and a face that you wouldn't recongize. They said his blood alcohol level was so high he should have been dead.
This past April he lost his job of 44 years for drinking. We begged the company to send him to rehab but they didn't want the bill.
We tried to get him to go to rehab on his own and he had all the excuses. The best one being that he wanted to keep the beer in the house to remind him of what he has lost.
Since losing his job he has driven drunk twice that we know of.
Yesterday we went to the court and had him committed. We had no idea he would be picked up within the hour. However he went with no complications.
My sister is upset because he wont let anyone have access to how he is doing. I told her hes mad because this is not what he wanted. I don't regret sending him, I'm just wondering if anyone has been committed or had to force someone into rehab and how the outcome was.
Has anyone else been through this?
I am new and I searched your forum just to have some opinions that understand.
In 2007 my dad had an OWI. He had been drinking many years. To be honest I was glad he finally got caught. There were many times when he drove home and after he passed out I had to hide keys or disable batteries so he wouldn't leave again. I was on the verge of calling the law myself but luckily I didn't have to.
In 2012 my dad and his girlfriend ( 30 years younger ) decided to party. He fell down the stairs. This gal didn't call the police but a friend to come over and see if my dad would be ok. This friend called an ambulance and dad was airlifted to a bigger hospital. He had a fractureds skull, 8 broken ribs and a face that you wouldn't recongize. They said his blood alcohol level was so high he should have been dead.
This past April he lost his job of 44 years for drinking. We begged the company to send him to rehab but they didn't want the bill.
We tried to get him to go to rehab on his own and he had all the excuses. The best one being that he wanted to keep the beer in the house to remind him of what he has lost.
Since losing his job he has driven drunk twice that we know of.
Yesterday we went to the court and had him committed. We had no idea he would be picked up within the hour. However he went with no complications.
My sister is upset because he wont let anyone have access to how he is doing. I told her hes mad because this is not what he wanted. I don't regret sending him, I'm just wondering if anyone has been committed or had to force someone into rehab and how the outcome was.
Has anyone else been through this?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: somewhere south
Posts: 254
I haven't. But AH has been to treatment many times. Some his idea, some mine ha. Be gentle to yourself. I have never slept better than when AH was in treatment. They're safe. Even if he's mad, I suspect he will be grateful to you eventually. In the meantime, Al anon. And lots of ice cream 
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
No experience, but welcome to the forum. Sorry that you have a need to be here, but I'm sure you'll benefit from all the shared insight & experiences here.
If you use the advanced search feature using the keyword "committed" you may turn up a lot of historical shares of value since this is not the most common scenario we see here in F&F. Between that & the stickey's at the top of the forum you may find a lot that you relate to.
If you use the advanced search feature using the keyword "committed" you may turn up a lot of historical shares of value since this is not the most common scenario we see here in F&F. Between that & the stickey's at the top of the forum you may find a lot that you relate to.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,413
No experience either with this, but I think you are giving him a chance to clear
his mind from the drinking and possibly make some better choices.
That's what a loving family does even if the addict doesn't like it much at the time.
I second the alanon and ice cream prescription.
his mind from the drinking and possibly make some better choices.
That's what a loving family does even if the addict doesn't like it much at the time.
I second the alanon and ice cream prescription.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 609
Be proud of yourself. I am sure it is hard. You sound so strong!! Know that he needs help and you helped him by doing what you did. Court issues are not fun and draining but keep your composure, realize you are not in control and take it one day at a time.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 256
When I dropped off my AH to rehab the wife of the couple that runs the program told me to "enjoy the peace" while he was gone. She was so right!
Your dad just may need some space while he gets treatment. Even more so if he wasn't willing to go on his own.
I know that my husband often felt overwhelmed with people calling and asking how he was doing. (they also drove me a bit crazy too b/c if they didn't talk to him they then called me to see what I knew.)
Also rehab can be complicated in getting information. Unless your dad has given permission to the staff to give you information they will not do so. Even if there is a release they may be very vague in what they share. Information shared in therapy is very private. When ever I would ask staff how my husband was doing in rehab the conversation would quickly turn to what am I doing for myself and the kids. I now understand why- his recovery is his job and my recovery is my own.
Your dad just may need some space while he gets treatment. Even more so if he wasn't willing to go on his own.
I know that my husband often felt overwhelmed with people calling and asking how he was doing. (they also drove me a bit crazy too b/c if they didn't talk to him they then called me to see what I knew.)
Also rehab can be complicated in getting information. Unless your dad has given permission to the staff to give you information they will not do so. Even if there is a release they may be very vague in what they share. Information shared in therapy is very private. When ever I would ask staff how my husband was doing in rehab the conversation would quickly turn to what am I doing for myself and the kids. I now understand why- his recovery is his job and my recovery is my own.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 3
I am personally glad he is in there. Years ago we went to the fair and when I picked him up he was already drunk. I told him I didn't feel like babysitting. He flipped. Its always been something. Showing up at birthday parties drunk, the day my 2nd son was born and showing up at the hospital drunk, and then my sisters wedding.
Guilt is what prevented me from doing it sooner. I'm just hoping he will see some sort of light through this.
AmyA did it work for you?
Guilt is what prevented me from doing it sooner. I'm just hoping he will see some sort of light through this.
AmyA did it work for you?
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