jarp

Kids at our school have to be handed to the person picking them up, they aren't allowed to just walk out into the yard by themselves after school. The older two also understand never to go with him. Our son....that's harder. But bc of his age he's on hand over from teacher to an approved adult.

FireSprite

Hey jarp my only question - is school the ONLY place your kids might ever be vulnerable? What stops him from approaching the kids at a park, in the grocery store, wherever they may be, if there isn't an official protection order in place?

I ask because it happened to me - my sister left my niece with me for the day while she worked a double shift (her ex was an abusive A) but when he showed up at the house (seemingly sober) I had no choice but to release her to him. I was NOT her parent, HE was.

She was 2.5, still in diapers & he took her simply because he felt entitled & he COULD. Then he locked them in their house, proceeded to get staggeringly drunk & volatile & when I checked on them (because my gut was in knots screaming that this was WRONG) & found him like that I called my sister. She tried to leave work, but he had gone there first apparently, and slashed all 4 of her tires. She called the cops, sent them to the house, got a ride home.... but by then the cops had showed at her house where RAH & I were waiting - RAH was pacing around & around the house looking for ANY way in to get my niece out & her Ex was following him from window to window from the inside, screaming obscenities & taunting him & displaying his abusive drunken self.

The cops helped me formulate a legal way of getting my niece to voluntarily walk out the front door into my arms. I'll never forget that cop telling me - "The MINUTE that child is in your reach, you grab her & you RUN & you don't look back. LEAVE. Get down the street before you worry about car seats & restraints." He was obviously intoxicated & using her as a shield/leverage so they took extreme caution with him until she was out of harm's way.

WOW, that's a hard memory. I can't help cry remembering how intense it was & how scary & out of control it all felt. I had never felt so helpless, especially to this small child that I loved so very much.

PunchDrunk

I feel like you are me. The night my AH was arrested, I thought long and hard about it before calling the police because I knew there would be retaliation. The next day I obtained an immediate order for protection to dull whatever was coming. Let me tell you, I was right. He has gone absolutely ******* insane with his verbal abuse and how he teeats others. He really scares me. He filed for divorce, which was a little surprising and out of context but not out of character, and his story of his arrest has changed at least four times, each time shifting all blame onto my "lying, manipulating ways." But he can't touch me. Can't come home. He is tearing himself apart with his fury and vitriol. I have no idea who he is. Sure as hell ain't the guy I married, I'll tell you that. I never in a milkion years could have imagined any of this would hapoen, yet here I am.

redatlanta

I think its a band aid but if that's what you are comfortable with then do what you feel right.

He IS the child's father. So they may be able to keep him from picking up your son once, but what are the police going to do if called? Arrest him for trying to pick up his son?

And what if he shows up at the house? Can you keep him from entering? Isn't that the point of the IO?

Maybe I am missing something.