queenapple

Today three of my kids will be here, my son and his family for the first time since the big May blowup when my RAH ruined my daughter-in-law's graduation from nursing school party. They cancelled two previous trips, one for me to see their kids in a play and one to come here on the 4th of July. This is a big deal for all of us-- "Dipping their toes back into a relationship with me" as my son puts it.

I posted a sign on my bedroom mirror-- "Not my circus, not my monkeys" to remind myself that it's not my job to control how they feel about RAH or about me either, for that matter. They're entitled to their own feelings. So am I.

Recovering this relationship is very important to me and I'm really afraid of saying something and blowing it. Keeping my mouth shut seems like the best plan. Maybe I'll just smile a lot. I won't apologize for the things they think I've done wrong--my son already told me I stink at apologies.

Cleaning off my side of the street and setting up barriers so I can't cross over....

Hawkeye13

I'm a little confused as to why you are being "punished" for your husband's actions,
but I wish you the very best with the visit.

I agree, no apology and lots of smiles and listening would be a smart strategy.

It's always wise to stay on your side of the street
Hugs and let us know how it goes!

littlefish

I'm confused too. What have you done wrong? It's odd that your son describes dipping their toes back into a relationship with you: doesn't he mean his father?
Or are they blaming you for not controlling your husband properly?