Pancreatitis while not drinking? vent...
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Nowhere, VA
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Pancreatitis while not drinking? vent...
I don't know if I've told you guys before, but ABF has had pancreatitis in the past due to alcoholism. Back in March/April (can't remember) when he had it for the 3rd time is when I decided I had to change my life in some way or another.
Anyway, He hadn't had an attack for a while. He has been not drinking for about 2 weeks (from what he says, I refuse to monitor him. He is smoking pot heavily though). Well Monday he ended up at the ER from another attack, I didn't sit and stay with him though. After about an hour I wanted to bolt, so I left, picked up dd. I didn't hear what the doctors told him, but he said it was from drinking too much milk (he would say that before to his family on the phone, after I had heard the dr say it was from alcoholism). I didn't dispute his answer, I'm trying to go with the "its none of my business" route. (His sis in law accidentally sent me a text that was meant for her husband, telling him that I had left ABF "all by himself" at the hospital to go pick up dd...That irritated me a bit but o well. )
Then he called me a little while ago, said he is having another attack. He went home from work early and said he was going to take a shower. I got a text message from him saying "I think i got to my meds in time. Not out of the woods yet...." blah blah.
I'm trying to not get irritated. I keep trying to firgure out why he is still having attacks if he isn't drinking. (lying about drinking, cancer is back, etc). I have to keep reminding myself that its not really my business, and there isn't anything I can do about it anyway.
Venting!
Anyway, He hadn't had an attack for a while. He has been not drinking for about 2 weeks (from what he says, I refuse to monitor him. He is smoking pot heavily though). Well Monday he ended up at the ER from another attack, I didn't sit and stay with him though. After about an hour I wanted to bolt, so I left, picked up dd. I didn't hear what the doctors told him, but he said it was from drinking too much milk (he would say that before to his family on the phone, after I had heard the dr say it was from alcoholism). I didn't dispute his answer, I'm trying to go with the "its none of my business" route. (His sis in law accidentally sent me a text that was meant for her husband, telling him that I had left ABF "all by himself" at the hospital to go pick up dd...That irritated me a bit but o well. )
Then he called me a little while ago, said he is having another attack. He went home from work early and said he was going to take a shower. I got a text message from him saying "I think i got to my meds in time. Not out of the woods yet...." blah blah.
I'm trying to not get irritated. I keep trying to firgure out why he is still having attacks if he isn't drinking. (lying about drinking, cancer is back, etc). I have to keep reminding myself that its not really my business, and there isn't anything I can do about it anyway.
Venting!
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Join Date: Aug 2011
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Blossom.....honestly.....I would want to divorce that meddling and manipulating sister-in-law of his (and her husband to boot).
This woman and his brother will be a thorn in your side as long as you are willing to let them.
dandylion
Be glad that you aren't legally married to this family---I can only imagine how much worse that nightmare would be.
This woman and his brother will be a thorn in your side as long as you are willing to let them.
dandylion
Be glad that you aren't legally married to this family---I can only imagine how much worse that nightmare would be.
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: atlanta, ga
Posts: 3,581
1st I am sure sister in law didn't "accidentally" text you.
My RAH has chronic pancreatitis. He has around 2 attacks a year. He has had it for 12 years. His are stimulated by too much fat. This is an improvement from when I first met him and he was hospitalized about every 6 weeks. I cook almost all meals and everything made from scratch. He will push it here and there and that's when we end up in the hospital. He also has to take supplements with all meals to aide digestion.
He is also an insulin dependent diabetic now because of chronic pancreatitis.
It is very possible your ABF was NOT drinking. And, it is possible he was. It is true what the doctor said, 90% of all pancreatitits is CAUSED by alcoholism. Chronic is forever. If he is still drinking its a death sentence. For real. Its a ****** disease and I am sorry he has it. I hope it is not chronic its ungodly painful.
There are many things he can do to help himself - oh and the smoke no bueno. A healthy low fat diet, exercise, lots of fluids etc. and he can help himself a lot.
Sounds like you still live with him so IMO a chronic health issue is your business. He needs to get it together and meet with a doctor and or nutritionist and learn what to do. Lest you be running him back and forth to the hospital.
My RAH has chronic pancreatitis. He has around 2 attacks a year. He has had it for 12 years. His are stimulated by too much fat. This is an improvement from when I first met him and he was hospitalized about every 6 weeks. I cook almost all meals and everything made from scratch. He will push it here and there and that's when we end up in the hospital. He also has to take supplements with all meals to aide digestion.
He is also an insulin dependent diabetic now because of chronic pancreatitis.
It is very possible your ABF was NOT drinking. And, it is possible he was. It is true what the doctor said, 90% of all pancreatitits is CAUSED by alcoholism. Chronic is forever. If he is still drinking its a death sentence. For real. Its a ****** disease and I am sorry he has it. I hope it is not chronic its ungodly painful.
There are many things he can do to help himself - oh and the smoke no bueno. A healthy low fat diet, exercise, lots of fluids etc. and he can help himself a lot.
Sounds like you still live with him so IMO a chronic health issue is your business. He needs to get it together and meet with a doctor and or nutritionist and learn what to do. Lest you be running him back and forth to the hospital.
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My AH went through a six month period a few years ago where he was hospitalised maybe 6-7 times for pancreatitis. He managed to stay off the booze for ... I don't know, maybe 3 months? I didn't count. Anyway, he started drinking again four weeks after his last hospital stay and hasn't stopped, yet the pancreatitis hasn't come back. He said they found it was caused by codeine (apparently this is possible, just rare).
I basically took the same route you have ... not my business. However his pancreatitis is caused, it's nothing I can do anything about.
I basically took the same route you have ... not my business. However his pancreatitis is caused, it's nothing I can do anything about.
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Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 537
Sorry you are having such a hard time with this extra challenge being thrown at you. It's really tough. Try to block out what others are saying, of COURSE you should go pick up yor daughter, instead of sitting by your dh's bedside when he has pancreatitis. Stay strong blossom...you are headed in the right direction.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
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My friend has been sober 30 years and she had her first attack at Thanksgiving last year.
The first thing the doctors asked her is how much she drank. Alcoholism is the number one cause for an attack (I think) but that does not mean he was drinking. I am not trying to play devils advocate but to bring up the point that we don't know, for sure, so quit trying.
It is much like when the alcoholic surrenders. We try to control our drinking for years even decades and the moment of clarity is so simple when it appears. It is simply to stop trying.
Stop trying to guess. Stop trying to control. Stop trying to defend, argue or justify. You have every right to your feelings. There is no need to continue to rationalize or justify them. They are yours.
Of course he has the exact same right, as twisted and as warped as they are.
Stay on your side of he street where things can get calm and leave him to the chaos on his.
The first thing the doctors asked her is how much she drank. Alcoholism is the number one cause for an attack (I think) but that does not mean he was drinking. I am not trying to play devils advocate but to bring up the point that we don't know, for sure, so quit trying.
It is much like when the alcoholic surrenders. We try to control our drinking for years even decades and the moment of clarity is so simple when it appears. It is simply to stop trying.
Stop trying to guess. Stop trying to control. Stop trying to defend, argue or justify. You have every right to your feelings. There is no need to continue to rationalize or justify them. They are yours.
Of course he has the exact same right, as twisted and as warped as they are.
Stay on your side of he street where things can get calm and leave him to the chaos on his.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Nowhere, VA
Posts: 540
I managed to mind my own business last night. He complained and whined, I didn't say what he should or shouldn't do, didn't pry. I did however, say that the doctor's have always suggested a low fat diet. (he thought fried chicken was low fat....lol). He kept asking what was low fat, I'd tell him my opinion and then he would say he didn't like that stuff. So I just told him to eat whatever he wanted. Its like he wants me to tell him what to do so he can dispute it. I just read my nook and went for a walk.
His family is very into jumping in to save him. I understand that they are who he goes to to talk to, I talk to my mom/brother when I have a problem, but my family doesn't intervene. They will offer advice but they won't call ABF no matter how much they dislike the situation, they let me handle it. I wish his family would give him the same courteousy.
I could have very easily pointed out everything I felt he was doing wrong last night, but I didn't. That is a big step for me! Keeping my mouth shut and my thoughts to myself do more good. I am realizing that he will think whatever he wants to think!
His family is very into jumping in to save him. I understand that they are who he goes to to talk to, I talk to my mom/brother when I have a problem, but my family doesn't intervene. They will offer advice but they won't call ABF no matter how much they dislike the situation, they let me handle it. I wish his family would give him the same courteousy.
I could have very easily pointed out everything I felt he was doing wrong last night, but I didn't. That is a big step for me! Keeping my mouth shut and my thoughts to myself do more good. I am realizing that he will think whatever he wants to think!
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: atlanta, ga
Posts: 3,581
Originally Posted by Blossom717 
I did however, say that the doctor's have always suggested a low fat diet. (he thought fried chicken was low fat....lol). He kept asking what was low fat, I'd tell him my opinion and then he would say he didn't like that stuff. So I just told him to eat whatever he wanted.
Kudos to you Blossom you handled it beautifully!
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