It's final...i am divorced!!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Originally Posted by FireSprite 
I CANNOT help but LOL at the irony of celebrating the finalization of your divorce from an alcoholic by attending a wine tasting. I know it's completely unplanned & the timing just happened to synchronize like that, but seriously, that's HILARIOUS.
I hope you have a blast!
I hope you have a blast!
I had two glasses of wine, visited with great friends and mostly feel lots of love. I stopped the isolation when i stopped covering up the condition of my marriage, which was horrible. I gained a support system of friends and family who are amazing!
Feeling blessed today!
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Arizona
Posts: 407
Hopeful14,
This is tremendous. I just went and read many of your previous posts, and realized that some of our incidents with our H's have been almost parallel ( I left the household, and 2 1/2 months later than your AH moved out). Of course, now I am thinking that If I had filed when I first left, I could be looking at having my divorce final, soon as well. I have recently decided that I need to take care of this sooner than later, so It seems wearisome to be just starting the process. I will also probably do most of the legwork myself to save some $$.
Congratulations on your freedom and newly found peace. You have inspired me to move forward, as this thread is a perfect reason not to dally any longer.
This is tremendous. I just went and read many of your previous posts, and realized that some of our incidents with our H's have been almost parallel ( I left the household, and 2 1/2 months later than your AH moved out). Of course, now I am thinking that If I had filed when I first left, I could be looking at having my divorce final, soon as well. I have recently decided that I need to take care of this sooner than later, so It seems wearisome to be just starting the process. I will also probably do most of the legwork myself to save some $$.
Congratulations on your freedom and newly found peace. You have inspired me to move forward, as this thread is a perfect reason not to dally any longer.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
Originally Posted by hopeful4
Yup, I missed out on social events for years. I dont care about the drinking but its nice to not have to avoid other people just because they drink, or have to fear they will bad mouth me and be abusive.
I had two glasses of wine, visited with great friends and mostly feel lots of love. I stopped the isolation when i stopped covering up the condition of my marriage, which was horrible. I gained a support system of friends and family who are amazing!
Feeling blessed today!
I had two glasses of wine, visited with great friends and mostly feel lots of love. I stopped the isolation when i stopped covering up the condition of my marriage, which was horrible. I gained a support system of friends and family who are amazing!
Feeling blessed today!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Yurt, luckily I live in a state where you can divorce after 30 days of separation, so that was in my favor to get it done quickly. A blessing.
My entire divorce cost me (and yes, I paid for it), $500. I had an attorney friend of mine do it for me. We worked out all the details on our own, including custody. We basically negotiated everything, signed and notorized that is what we agreed to, and turned it over to my attorney to file. What helped me along was that I have a lot of proof of my X's drinking and unacceptable behavior and I used that as my trump card to get him to agree to getting this done. I had a no drinking clause put in for both of us which he agreed to. I don't think he necessarily understands what he locked himself into, in that if he even has alcohol present in the home that is grounds he will not see our children. Had he not agreed to all of it and we would have had to go into mediation it would have been expensive and timely.
I made sure he knew if we could hammer out an agreement between us I would be fair. If not, I was going for everything I could, including at at fault divorce where he pays for everything. I could have won that too, but I just wanted to get it over with! Well worth it.
My entire divorce cost me (and yes, I paid for it), $500. I had an attorney friend of mine do it for me. We worked out all the details on our own, including custody. We basically negotiated everything, signed and notorized that is what we agreed to, and turned it over to my attorney to file. What helped me along was that I have a lot of proof of my X's drinking and unacceptable behavior and I used that as my trump card to get him to agree to getting this done. I had a no drinking clause put in for both of us which he agreed to. I don't think he necessarily understands what he locked himself into, in that if he even has alcohol present in the home that is grounds he will not see our children. Had he not agreed to all of it and we would have had to go into mediation it would have been expensive and timely.
I made sure he knew if we could hammer out an agreement between us I would be fair. If not, I was going for everything I could, including at at fault divorce where he pays for everything. I could have won that too, but I just wanted to get it over with! Well worth it.
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,349
Wow, that was fast. I read your post about how you guys worked things out and that was encouraging. I'm not sure my RAH would go for that, LOL, but I guess I'd never know unless I tried.
So happy for you to be moving on with your life and enjoying it, too! Sending you lots of positive energy and virtual hugs today!!!
So happy for you to be moving on with your life and enjoying it, too! Sending you lots of positive energy and virtual hugs today!!!
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