Mango blast

Fear is the cheapest room in the house. I would like to see you in better living conditions. - Hafiz


Live in joy – from the Dhammapada, Words of the Buddha

Live in joy,
In love,
Even among those who hate.

Live in joy,
In health,
Even among the afflicted.

Live in joy,
In peace,
Even among the troubled.

Look within.
Be still.
Free from fear and attachment,
Know the sweet joy of living in the way.



Jack Kornfield, Buddhist Teacher And Former Monk, Explains How To Stay Present And Conquer Fear (VIDEO)
Jack Kornfield: 'A Lamp In the Darkness' (EXCERPT)
Live in Joy, Peace and Love | this time - this space

lillamy

Thank you for posting this.
It's resounding inside me on a very deep level today.

Mango blast

Me too.

There are things I don't have a choice in, those things I cannot change. It IS possible to change my outlook. I didn't know yesterday quite how much I was going to need these words today.

Hawkeye13

How is your family doing, ktf?
I hope things are well and sending you good wishes.

Stung

You know, I've realized very recently that fear is a central theme in my life. It's my ultimate motivator and the reason I stay connected to people. I went no contact with my mom last week and I'm still afraid of what she is going to do because I've done this to her.

The Twain quote in my signature is how I handle fear. I feel it and push myself into discomfort, voice quivering, hands shaking, breath short and do what I know is good, not what is comfortable.

Each alanon meeting I've been to (except for the last one, really I need an NPD mom group. That's where my issues really are.) I've forced myself to share. Everytime I speak people laugh during my share which makes me feel like less of a freak. At least I can use my ridiculous experience with my husband and put a little humor into it. Afterwards I tell myself "see, people naturally like me and gravitate towards me" then I hear my mom's voice saying "everyone agrees with me. You're ungrateful. You're self centered. Everyone loves me! You on the other hand..." And then I worry that I'm becoming NPD too for repeating something similar to myself. I'm so afraid that I am NPD too.

FireSprite

Thank you for this! My fave quote on fear has been:

"You don't need to let go of all your fear before you are ready to experience love. You can pick up your fears in your arms and carry them into the love with you. For once you step into love, fear shows itself up for the illusion it's always been, and love is all that remains." -Eric Pearl "The Reconnection"

schnappi99

I generally suspect that if you're afraid that you might have NPD then you don't have it.

Horrors being the stock-and-trade of 12-Step meetings, I appreciate the laughs in our group very much- thanks for helping lighten the mood for yours!

chicory

Thank you KIR, as I needed this tonight as well.

jarp

Love it, thank you.

Mango blast

Thanks for asking, Hawkeye. Things are well. A lot going on, and throughout it all I'm learning to live fully instead of going back to old habits. I'm choosing to live well, to have "better living conditions." It's the mental place I'm living in that is really good for me. I'm placing value in myself, in others, and enjoying the day at hand. In The Heart of Abundance it says the ancient Greek had two words for time: Chronos and Kairos. Chronos asks, "What time is it?" Kairos asks, "What is time for?" Chronos is three o'clock in the afternoon. Kairos is the moment I take a walk on a sunny afternoon after the first autumn cool front has moved through. (paraphrased from the book)

I've been learning to live in Kairos, and last weekend I slipped back into Chronos and old thinking, old habits, negative thoughts of myself and not being able to do enough or well enough. I was watching the clock at home and at work, trying to fit things into a schedule. The alternate, through mindfulness, meditation and prayer, I'm able to enjoy the day as it is, without trying to change it into something else. What I accomplish is enough, and is in it's own time. It's easier to make decisions, to breath, to enjoy life.