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-   -   I'm terrified to be "me" (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-alcoholics/340430-im-terrified-me.html)

readerbaby71 07-30-2014 03:13 PM

The best fries and gravy you will ever have.....

Burger Hut - Butler, PA | Yelp

amy55 07-30-2014 03:13 PM

I'm not seeing any red flags. In a way, I'm happy that he saw me at my worst already. He told me that he wanted to ask me out then, but I wasn't divorced yet, and he wanted to give me some time.

That day that I met him, he saw my red headed temper, with flames shooting out of my eyes, ready to just pounce, and he didn't run and hide. He just gave it time.

amy55 07-30-2014 03:25 PM

I got directions to where that was, because I always wanted to know where Butler PA was, I live in Butler Township, Hazleton area. When I moved to PA, I didn't know there were all of these townships here, and I was telling people Butler PA. wow, I'm about 2 hours if not more from there.

PS --- Make that 4 hours away !!!!! PA is really a large state

iamthird 07-30-2014 05:15 PM

Im in CA and I love french fries with gravy! Lol!!!

ladyscribbler 07-30-2014 05:25 PM

If you're ever in Erie for one of your weekly excursions, stop in at Dominick's.
That would actually be a great day. Check out the zoo, skip rocks and wade in Lake Erie, then grab a meatball omelette at Dominick's.

Rosiepetal 07-30-2014 05:28 PM

He sounds genuine to me & open communication is the way to go.
Well done.

amy55 07-30-2014 05:44 PM

It's kinda funny. He told me that he is not good with talking about emotional feelings or talking that much. Used to sports talking or news talking. He told me the first day he met me that he felt like a little boy that liked the girl. That little boys don't know what to do with this, so they end up doing something stupid. He told me he wanted to put a frog down my shirt, (lol) then he realized his age, and that he can't do that. He told me that I make him feel young again. (We're both around 60ish)

It surprised me that he opened up as much as he did, while I was still trying to hide myself. I have a lot of trouble now talking about emotions except for here where I feel safe.

Hawkeye13 07-30-2014 05:49 PM

It sounds like things went really well and there may just be a spark between you ;)

I'm glad you decided to meet him.

Gravy fries are indeed a good sign . . .

I think he sounds very nice, by the way.
And you deserve very nice.

choublak 07-30-2014 07:58 PM


Originally Posted by amy55 (Post 4810770)
Fries w/ gravy, big thing in PA, just like pierogies, and potato pancakes

Okay, I have to ask. Where in PA? I'm near Philly and have never heard of fries with gravy.

Although, I've heard they put cheese fries on top of salads in Pittsburgh...

amy55 07-30-2014 08:03 PM

NEPA . NorthEast Pa. Scranton, wilkes-barre, hazleton area.

choublak 07-30-2014 08:08 PM


Originally Posted by amy55 (Post 4811440)
NEPA . NorthEast Pa. Scranton, wilkes-barre, hazleton area.

Oh, The Office.

redatlanta 07-30-2014 08:11 PM

WHAT KIND OF GRAVY?????

never heard of this.

amy55 07-30-2014 08:12 PM

choublak, they also have what they call monkey meat here. When I saw that I said WTH is that? It's chopped bologna with mayonnaise. Even to me it sounded disgusting, but then I remembered one of my fav sandwiches was bologna and mayonnaise I might try that someday.

amy55 07-30-2014 08:14 PM

Anyways though, I am feeling a lot better, and I am glad that I went today. I need to do a lot of work on my trust issue, or not, (lol), I'll see.

Thumper 07-30-2014 08:43 PM

Hi, I'm so glad you went too. I came to this thread because I just watched a TedTalk - Brene Brown: The Power of Vulnerability. I thought of this thread so you may want to watch it. It is about 20 minutes long and you can find it on youtube under that name.

amy55 07-30-2014 08:49 PM


Originally Posted by Thumper (Post 4811503)
Hi, I'm so glad you went too. I came to this thread because I just watched a TedTalk - Brene Brown: The Power of Vulnerability. I thought of this thread so you may want to watch it. It is about 20 minutes long and you can find it on youtube under that name.

I'm going to watch that now. thank you.

Croissant 07-30-2014 08:58 PM

Amy, I think being able to tell a guy you expected him to check you were ok was amazing, and that he coped so well with it and wanted to make sure you sorted things out.

It sounds like a great chance to get to know someone, and he sounds like a very self aware person. Which is great.

Make sure you make some time just to enjoy and have fun.

Glad to hear something nice is happening. :)

FeelingGreat 07-30-2014 09:14 PM

I like the frog spawn bit. He sounds like he has a good sense of humour.

amy55 07-30-2014 09:15 PM


Originally Posted by Thumper (Post 4811503)
Hi, I'm so glad you went too. I came to this thread because I just watched a TedTalk - Brene Brown: The Power of Vulnerability. I thought of this thread so you may want to watch it. It is about 20 minutes long and you can find it on youtube under that name.

I watched that or as much as I could on my computer. My computer overheats and it buffered a lot.

What I got out of it was sometimes I need to be vulnerable. I can't close off my heart. Will try to watch the rest of it tomorrow.

And I already have a cooling pad for my computer, but watching you tube or any video, may and will shut my computer down.

Thank you , I appreciate that. I know I want to keep myself locked up, but to find happiness again, I need to open up.

amy55 07-30-2014 09:17 PM


Originally Posted by FeelingGreat (Post 4811541)
I like the frog spawn bit. He sounds like he has a good sense of humour.

He does have a sense of humor and that did break an uneasy moment for me. Even now I still laugh about that.

amy55 07-30-2014 09:33 PM

It's so hard to tell people about my "triggers". I walked on eggshells for years, and I don't want someone else to feel that way about me. But, I have triggers.

I feel like I have this guy walking around on eggshells. I need to be open here with him, and it is hard for me, but if I don't then he won't know what to expect or why I react the way I do.

It's so hard to go from trying to stuff your feelings, and walking on eggshells waiting for the explosion, and to be with someone who wants you to talk about those things, .......

It's

another trigger for me, me being able to speak. I was told, you have the right to remain silent, and anything you say, will and can be held against you. And he proved it.

It's so hard for me to be open to someone.

People that I have met here see me as very talkative, happy, etc....

This isn't the person that I knew me as. I was shy, withdrawn, afraid to say anything.

This in a way is a new person that I didn't know I was.

Y'all remember I was married and living with him for over 25 years. Was with him for about 3 before then, then the divorce period was 2 1/2 years.

I don't know who I am, and this guy is willing to listen to me. Why?????

CodeJob 07-30-2014 09:37 PM

Amy, he sees the new you - talkative, happy, etc....

amy55 07-30-2014 09:53 PM


Originally Posted by CodeJob (Post 4811569)
Amy, he sees the new you - talkative, happy, etc....

I hope so, because he also saw me at my extemes. Volatile, angry, and homicidal. (lol)

The best option is to take it slow, and he suggested that. I'm good with this!!!!!!! Just why is he so effing understanding????????? (lol)

This just makes me think that I am crazier than I already thought I was crazy.

amy55 07-30-2014 09:57 PM

I just want to thank everyone who got me out of that tree today. I wanted to hide out and isolate, and this may be a good thing for me.

Hawkeye13 07-31-2014 03:26 AM

You can make a good face-to-face friend whatever happens
and that's always wonderful.

I find it so much harder to make connections now compared to when I was younger.

Enjoy learning about yourself as the process unfolds.

jarp 07-31-2014 03:59 AM

I'm so lad that things went well.

I don't know you but from what you share here, and how you support others....how could someone NOT want to know the real you?

The REAL you is all the different parts of you that make up the wonderful person you are.

He sounds lovely too!

FireSprite 07-31-2014 04:14 AM


Originally Posted by redatlanta (Post 4811456)
WHAT KIND OF GRAVY?????

never heard of this.


Plain old, thick, salty brown gravy... with crispy, thin fries. Best served in small mom & pop diners where the gravy is homemade.




Originally Posted by amy55 (Post 4811440)
NEPA . NorthEast Pa. Scranton, wilkes-barre, hazleton area.

Yep, that's it! Right outside of the Poconos.

readerbaby71 07-31-2014 09:16 AM


Originally Posted by choublak (Post 4811426)
Okay, I have to ask. Where in PA? I'm near Philly and have never heard of fries with gravy.

Although, I've heard they put cheese fries on top of salads in Pittsburgh...

I live it Pittsburgh and it's true. People do put fries on top of salads. I find it gross, but to each his own. I don't know if fries with gravy are just a Western PA thing. I just realized that this thread must have affected my subconscious. I went out to a diner last night and had a hot turkey sandwich and fries with gravy! No wonder I was so tired this morning.......

hopeful4 07-31-2014 09:38 AM

So so glad you went! He sounds like a really nice person. Relax girl....have some fun in your life!!!

XXX

fairlyuncertain 07-31-2014 10:57 PM


Originally Posted by amy55 (Post 4811461)
Anyways though, I am feeling a lot better, and I am glad that I went today. I need to do a lot of work on my trust issue, or not, (lol), I'll see.

Amy, I'm glad you had a great picnic! There are wonderful men out there, and jerks and everything in between. Just remember--you would have been exactly the same, valuable person if it had gone badly!!

We all deserve respect and a natural flow in our relationships. Some people can't give that, and don't care. If you run into one of those, it is NOT YOUR FAULT.

That's been a helpful attitude for me to take--that getting out there again can be fun, and not heavy or full of pressure to get it 'right.' When it IS right, the pressure is gone.

Good luck with this, and have fun!!


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