closure at last!
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 52
closure at last!
Hey guys! Yet again I've been busy travelling and seeing friends and family and taking all the right steps for getting myself back together! I can't believe I ever felt alone!
I have finally spoken with my XAF (and if he really is an ex-friend now) after almost 4 months of no contact. He owes me £3,500 still (about $6,000!!) and he has stated his desire to pay me back in full. I have it in writing now too just in case...
I was very matter of fact without being unfair, and I was very careful not to make accusations or be bitter toward him and he shocked me by his response! He was calm and apologised for what he'd put me through (a first on both counts) and said he was "so truly very sorry". I responded "I know you are, and that's why this hurts so much" .
I am over the moon that I managed to let him go gently, explaining why I was going, and he let me go! I did it how I wanted to do it. I loved the guy once, and I didn't want to make his life any harder than he already makes it for himself.
Again, I have to thank everyone on here who gave me the tools and the time to clarify my own mind and allowed me to do what had to be done in a kind and gentle way. I actually feel at peace and all it took was a bit of time, and remembering who I am, not who I had become because of his addictions.
I have finally spoken with my XAF (and if he really is an ex-friend now) after almost 4 months of no contact. He owes me £3,500 still (about $6,000!!) and he has stated his desire to pay me back in full. I have it in writing now too just in case...
I was very matter of fact without being unfair, and I was very careful not to make accusations or be bitter toward him and he shocked me by his response! He was calm and apologised for what he'd put me through (a first on both counts) and said he was "so truly very sorry". I responded "I know you are, and that's why this hurts so much" .
I am over the moon that I managed to let him go gently, explaining why I was going, and he let me go! I did it how I wanted to do it. I loved the guy once, and I didn't want to make his life any harder than he already makes it for himself.
Again, I have to thank everyone on here who gave me the tools and the time to clarify my own mind and allowed me to do what had to be done in a kind and gentle way. I actually feel at peace and all it took was a bit of time, and remembering who I am, not who I had become because of his addictions.
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
Originally Posted by tjol81 
Again, I have to thank everyone on here who gave me the tools and the time to clarify my own mind and allowed me to do what had to be done in a kind and gentle way. I actually feel at peace and all it took was a bit of time, and remembering who I am, not who I had become because of his addictions.
Thanks for coming back and updating. I wish you continued strength and clarity. Enjoy that peaceful feeling!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 52
Thank you Honeypig! I wanted to do an update because I don't think enough people do. It was the few I read where people were getting their lives back together that spurred me on, and by updating, if just one person gains an ounce of strength or insight, then I'll be thrilled that something good can come from something so horrific!
It really is possible to move forward AND be happy!!!
It really is possible to move forward AND be happy!!!
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