He moved out today.....
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Litterbox City
Posts: 5,691
Yikes
Please welcome me to this sisterhood! I too have an AH who is also taking Lexapro - had 3 seizure events (not the first time) during a withdrawal period about a month ago and is now drinking again and was up all last night garfing.Sometimes I wish mine would do the walking but I don't think that will be the case - if it comes to that I am afraid I will be the one leaving. I will be attending my second Al-Anon meeting this weekend.
We are all human and of course we feel bitter, angry, etc. I am truly trying to not respond that way as it eats you up more than focusing on the ideals that Al-Anon teach.
Just remember, you have many out here who can identify with you and are praying for you!
cwohio
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: WA
Posts: 61
Cwohio- when you say he "had 3 seizures during a withdrawl period"- do you mean as he was withdrawing off of drinking or lexapro?
I am scared as the last time my AH went without his lexapro for about 5 days he couldn't even function normally- couldn't even put together a sentence without wanting to explode with anxiety as he put it-
I will let you guys know what my Al Anon meeting is like tonight- luckily I live in a place where I can catch a meeting a few different places and nights a week, so I will try to find one that works for me.
I am glad that my AH hasn't given me to bad of a time for asking him to leave- he is generally a loving sensitive guy, but the depression, anxiety and drinking has taken a real toll on our marriage. I come from an Alcoholic home (my mom), and am pretty decieded on the fact that I CANNOT live happily with an Alcoholic in my life. He will have to make the choice...Alcohol and the dysfunction that goes with that, or me and the kids. I will not waiver on that. I am a strong, good woman and I deserve better than I have been given so far...I will miss him sooooooo much if he doesn't come back and get healthy, but I know I will be okay if that is the case too.
Thanks for all the support- I will let you know tonight about the meeting....
Diane
I am scared as the last time my AH went without his lexapro for about 5 days he couldn't even function normally- couldn't even put together a sentence without wanting to explode with anxiety as he put it-
I will let you guys know what my Al Anon meeting is like tonight- luckily I live in a place where I can catch a meeting a few different places and nights a week, so I will try to find one that works for me.
I am glad that my AH hasn't given me to bad of a time for asking him to leave- he is generally a loving sensitive guy, but the depression, anxiety and drinking has taken a real toll on our marriage. I come from an Alcoholic home (my mom), and am pretty decieded on the fact that I CANNOT live happily with an Alcoholic in my life. He will have to make the choice...Alcohol and the dysfunction that goes with that, or me and the kids. I will not waiver on that. I am a strong, good woman and I deserve better than I have been given so far...I will miss him sooooooo much if he doesn't come back and get healthy, but I know I will be okay if that is the case too.
Thanks for all the support- I will let you know tonight about the meeting....
Diane
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: WA
Posts: 61
Went to my 1st Al Anon meeting last night, actually it was my second b/c I went to one last year when my husbands drinking got really bad, but told myself that I didn't need it.
Anyways I think it went okay...I (of course) didn't talk, and it hurt to be reminded of all the people out there that have been so hurt by alcohol. I know I will go back- as I definately need the support, but I also wasn't sure I would ever be comfortable sharing.
My AH came by to see the kids today and asked how my meeting went. I told him it was okay, and I didn't really like it, but I would be going back. He said "You don't have to do anything you don't want to for me." I didn't even look up from what I was doing to grab the bait....I just said plain and flat "this isn't about you or your drinking, it is about me. I am going for myself" He just shrugged his shoulders and left.
It is so weird when I see him....I don't really miss him, and I am scared about how little I want to work things out with him. I know in my heart that if it wasn't for the kids I would have move on long ago. I can't imagine myself divorced, but this is all just so weird. I don't really know how to explain it, I just feel numb. I am so tired of all the anger and resentment, and mostly I am tired of fighting with him.
On a good note tho. The Al Anon meeting:
There was a lady I recognized because that 1st meeting last year I went to she was also there for her 1st meeting (we both went to the room for AA by mistake
) Then we found the meeting for Al Anon together. She shared that night, and was in such a terrible place in her lift- Alcoholic husband, a teenage daughter that was just in a car wreck and paralized...just terrible. When I saw her last night she had obviously been going all this time (about a year) She looked like a different woman- like the weight had been lifted. She said he is a "Dry drunk" now, but she is happy with herself whether he is drinking or not. (That I can't imagine) I was glad to see her doing so good. She told us all that we just needed to keep coming....the program works! Good news! I hope so!
Di
Anyways I think it went okay...I (of course) didn't talk, and it hurt to be reminded of all the people out there that have been so hurt by alcohol. I know I will go back- as I definately need the support, but I also wasn't sure I would ever be comfortable sharing.
My AH came by to see the kids today and asked how my meeting went. I told him it was okay, and I didn't really like it, but I would be going back. He said "You don't have to do anything you don't want to for me." I didn't even look up from what I was doing to grab the bait....I just said plain and flat "this isn't about you or your drinking, it is about me. I am going for myself" He just shrugged his shoulders and left.
It is so weird when I see him....I don't really miss him, and I am scared about how little I want to work things out with him. I know in my heart that if it wasn't for the kids I would have move on long ago. I can't imagine myself divorced, but this is all just so weird. I don't really know how to explain it, I just feel numb. I am so tired of all the anger and resentment, and mostly I am tired of fighting with him.
On a good note tho. The Al Anon meeting:
There was a lady I recognized because that 1st meeting last year I went to she was also there for her 1st meeting (we both went to the room for AA by mistake
) Then we found the meeting for Al Anon together. She shared that night, and was in such a terrible place in her lift- Alcoholic husband, a teenage daughter that was just in a car wreck and paralized...just terrible. When I saw her last night she had obviously been going all this time (about a year) She looked like a different woman- like the weight had been lifted. She said he is a "Dry drunk" now, but she is happy with herself whether he is drinking or not. (That I can't imagine) I was glad to see her doing so good. She told us all that we just needed to keep coming....the program works! Good news! I hope so!Di
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