Courage To Change 07/25/14
Behold the power of NO
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
Courage To Change 07/25/14
After years of letting people take advantage of me, I had built up quite a store of anger, resentment, and guilt by the time I found Al-Anon. So many times I wanted to bite off my tongue after saying, “Yes,” when I really wanted to say, “No.” Why did I continue to deny my own feelings just to gain someone’s approval? As I worked the Al-Anon program, the answer became apparent: What I lacked was courage. In the Serenity Prayer I learn that courage is granted by my Higher Power, so that is where I turned first. Then it was up to me to do my part. Was I willing to try to learn to say, “No,” when I meant no? Was I willing to accept that not everyone would be thrilled with this change? Was I willing to face the real me behind the people-pleasing image? Fed up with volunteering to be treated like a doormat, I squared my shoulders and answered, “Yes.”
Today’s Reminder
It is not always appropriate to reveal my every thought, especially when dealing with an active alcoholic. But do I make a conscious choice about what I say? And when it is appropriate, do I say what I mean and mean what I say? If not, why not? All I have to offer anyone is my own experience of the truth.
“There is a price that is too great to pay for peace. . . . One cannot pay the price of self-respect.”
Woodrow Wilson
It is not always appropriate to reveal my every thought, especially when dealing with an active alcoholic. But do I make a conscious choice about what I say? And when it is appropriate, do I say what I mean and mean what I say? If not, why not? All I have to offer anyone is my own experience of the truth.
“There is a price that is too great to pay for peace. . . . One cannot pay the price of self-respect.”
Woodrow Wilson
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 113
Read this this morning and WOW did it make me think. Looking back a year ago when we decided to get married, we were talking about it and I hesitated then she mad a comment that made me feel guilty. I was terrified to let her down and I should have heeded my hesitation.
The quote at the end is spot on too. I realize for the last nine months I have tried everything to keep the peace with my AW, only now am I realizing how much self respect I have lost in the process. Been away from her for a week now and have really gained myself again with the help of family and al-anon. She is mad and doesn't like it but of course who would want to lose their yes man. I am sticking to my boundary and will not be treated like a doormat by her anymore. Thanks for sharing, I love the inspiration from this book.
The quote at the end is spot on too. I realize for the last nine months I have tried everything to keep the peace with my AW, only now am I realizing how much self respect I have lost in the process. Been away from her for a week now and have really gained myself again with the help of family and al-anon. She is mad and doesn't like it but of course who would want to lose their yes man. I am sticking to my boundary and will not be treated like a doormat by her anymore. Thanks for sharing, I love the inspiration from this book.
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