Missing Him
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 2
Missing Him
My recovering alcoholic boyfriend is currently in jail serving a 48 day sentence for his second dui from December. As of tonight he has 32 days left. This is killing me. He got completely sober the day after the accident and dedicated himself to God and his family (we have a 15 month old daughter and an 8 year old.) I can truthfully say that these past 6.5 months have been the best months of my life. After many failed attempts to get sober, he finally hit bottom. I know that this is what it took to get him sober but that doesn't make the days easier. I miss him so much and it's really hard to stay strong for him and my girls. I'm not exactly sure why I'm posting this, I guess it would just be nice to have someone to talk to.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
Hi, citybird, and welcome to SR. If you're looking for a place to talk to people who've been where you are, and who understand, you're in the right place.
Reading as much as you can here, making sure not to miss the stickies at the top of the page, is a good place to start. There's a lot of education and support for you here. I think you'll see yourself in many of the stories here and realize that you're not alone.
I'd also suggest Alanon for some face-to-face support in addition to us online. There are meetings that offer childcare at a nominal fee ($1 per child or so) if that's an issue for you.
Wishing you strength and clarity.
Reading as much as you can here, making sure not to miss the stickies at the top of the page, is a good place to start. There's a lot of education and support for you here. I think you'll see yourself in many of the stories here and realize that you're not alone.
I'd also suggest Alanon for some face-to-face support in addition to us online. There are meetings that offer childcare at a nominal fee ($1 per child or so) if that's an issue for you.
Wishing you strength and clarity.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 2
Thank you all for replying. I've been reading around the forum and so many of the stories hit close to home. Some almost make me feel guilty for being on the upside of this debilitating illness. The days are long but 48 days of loneliness and stress are worth a lifetime of sobriety. I wish that I would've stopped enabling him and sheltering him years ago so this would've happened sooner. C'est la vie, I guess.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
citybird, one of the Alanon sayings is "when you know better, you do better." I'm just very glad that you found your way here and are educating yourself so you can do better. Don't waste one second beating yourself up about the things you could've/should've/would've done. You did the best you could at the time. As you learn more, you know better and will act differently. It's OK. We've all been there.
You are absolutely right, it's short-term pain for long-term gain. He has put himself into his God's hands, and doing the same for yourself might be helpful for you also. Have you looked into Alanon? I really think you might find it to be a good fit for you.
Keep coming back!
You are absolutely right, it's short-term pain for long-term gain. He has put himself into his God's hands, and doing the same for yourself might be helpful for you also. Have you looked into Alanon? I really think you might find it to be a good fit for you.
Keep coming back!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: New York City, NY
Posts: 45
Citybird, I totally agree with Honeypig...Al-Anon is helping me a lot! I thought it would be too cheesy or sad, but I find that listening to the stories is incredibly comforting...I thought it was just my situation, but a LOT of women and men are going through the same, and can offer insight.
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