That's the booze talking
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That's the booze talking
my father was a heavy drinker..a few years before his death this is what somebody told me one day about my fathers behavior towards me."that was just the booze talking". He was a good friend of my father and somebody who had been through AA and sober for many years.
No it's not the booze talking...booze can't talk nor do I believe in loss of control or being under the influence by a alcohol demon. I never lost control and i drank a ton myself. It is no doubt in my mind that the bs i had to hear from my father would of came if boozing or not..but now i have to blame alcohol instead of him.
a dry drunk? thats just because the person was a mess before he started drinking...drinking is a win win for a -holes really...they can drink and they can also blame their character on their so called "alcoholism"
bs
No it's not the booze talking...booze can't talk nor do I believe in loss of control or being under the influence by a alcohol demon. I never lost control and i drank a ton myself. It is no doubt in my mind that the bs i had to hear from my father would of came if boozing or not..but now i have to blame alcohol instead of him.
a dry drunk? thats just because the person was a mess before he started drinking...drinking is a win win for a -holes really...they can drink and they can also blame their character on their so called "alcoholism"
bs
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I don't know....I'm on the fence here. I know I've said and done many, many things when drinking that I would never do sober, but I do believe people are responsible for their actions no matter what. There is no excuse for being hurtful.
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Yes, some of the things my alcoholic mother said to me drunk were frankly unforgivable, and implied she hated my guts, was jealous, and had contempt for me.
She showed me several times while drinking that she didn't care if her drinking crippled me
emotionally, physically, or destroyed my marriage and employment. It was my job to
pick up her pieces, whatever she did.
Realizing the mother doesn't care if she destroys her own child was a chilling and fundamentally life-changing moment for me. It was also my bottom.
That "Oh my God" moment, looking into those cold reptilian alcoholic eyes, that I knew I had to let go
of my codependency and save myself, which I barely did in time.
The alcoholic and the person are one in the same.
When I was drinking I said and did some things I would not have done sober,
but I think there was a line I would not cross that she did, and did repeatedly.
Maybe her lashing out was the thing that saved me, and in that since became a "motherly" act. I will never know.
The thing now cabo, is to forgive if you haven't and take the rotting Albatross off your neck for good.
I don't mean forget, but just let it go and realize your father did the best he could do at the time, and in thrashing around in his own pain, he did collateral damage to you.
Letting go and making peace with my dead mother has brought me peace I never thought existed.
I had lived with so much trauma from a very early age I didn't know what peace was until I created it for myself. Know what I mean?
She showed me several times while drinking that she didn't care if her drinking crippled me
emotionally, physically, or destroyed my marriage and employment. It was my job to
pick up her pieces, whatever she did.
Realizing the mother doesn't care if she destroys her own child was a chilling and fundamentally life-changing moment for me. It was also my bottom.
That "Oh my God" moment, looking into those cold reptilian alcoholic eyes, that I knew I had to let go
of my codependency and save myself, which I barely did in time.
The alcoholic and the person are one in the same.
When I was drinking I said and did some things I would not have done sober,
but I think there was a line I would not cross that she did, and did repeatedly.
Maybe her lashing out was the thing that saved me, and in that since became a "motherly" act. I will never know.
The thing now cabo, is to forgive if you haven't and take the rotting Albatross off your neck for good.
I don't mean forget, but just let it go and realize your father did the best he could do at the time, and in thrashing around in his own pain, he did collateral damage to you.
Letting go and making peace with my dead mother has brought me peace I never thought existed.
I had lived with so much trauma from a very early age I didn't know what peace was until I created it for myself. Know what I mean?
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Originally Posted by Hawkeye13 
Yes, some of the things my alcoholic mother said to me drunk were frankly unforgivable, and implied she hated my guts, was jealous, and had contempt for me.
She showed me several times while drinking that she didn't care if her drinking crippled me
emotionally, physically, or destroyed my marriage and employment. It was my job to
pick up her pieces, whatever she did.
Realizing the mother doesn't care if she destroys her own child was a chilling and fundamentally life-changing moment for me. It was also my bottom.
That "Oh my God" moment, looking into those cold reptilian alcoholic eyes, that I knew I had to let go
of my codependency and save myself, which I barely did in time.
The alcoholic and the person are one in the same.
When I was drinking I said and did some things I would not have done sober,
but I think there was a line I would not cross that she did, and did repeatedly.
Maybe her lashing out was the thing that saved me, and in that since became a "motherly" act. I will never know.
The thing now cabo, is to forgive if you haven't and take the rotting Albatross off your neck for good.
I don't mean forget, but just let it go and realize your father did the best he could do at the time, and in thrashing around in his own pain, he did collateral damage to you.
Letting go and making peace with my dead mother has brought me peace I never thought existed.
I had lived with so much trauma from a very early age I didn't know what peace was until I created it for myself. Know what I mean?
She showed me several times while drinking that she didn't care if her drinking crippled me
emotionally, physically, or destroyed my marriage and employment. It was my job to
pick up her pieces, whatever she did.
Realizing the mother doesn't care if she destroys her own child was a chilling and fundamentally life-changing moment for me. It was also my bottom.
That "Oh my God" moment, looking into those cold reptilian alcoholic eyes, that I knew I had to let go
of my codependency and save myself, which I barely did in time.
The alcoholic and the person are one in the same.
When I was drinking I said and did some things I would not have done sober,
but I think there was a line I would not cross that she did, and did repeatedly.
Maybe her lashing out was the thing that saved me, and in that since became a "motherly" act. I will never know.
The thing now cabo, is to forgive if you haven't and take the rotting Albatross off your neck for good.
I don't mean forget, but just let it go and realize your father did the best he could do at the time, and in thrashing around in his own pain, he did collateral damage to you.
Letting go and making peace with my dead mother has brought me peace I never thought existed.
I had lived with so much trauma from a very early age I didn't know what peace was until I created it for myself. Know what I mean?
thus is life
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There's a difference between people who drink heavily on a regular basis, and alcoholics, within my experience. Alcoholics will suddenly 'switch' as the alcohol takes hold, in a way that other drinker's don't particularly - and they can be vile. Absolutely vile.
Whatever, it's very important not to take anything they say on board yourself - and in that respect it is INDEED the booze talking, or the alcoholism talking or however you may choose to phrase it. It's certainly not realistic observations from the viewpoint of a rational person, and I take it in much the same way that I did the hallucinations and delusions of mental health patients when I worked in a hospital.
It's not pleasant to be around, though, and these days I practise self-care by removing myself from the presence of my alcoholic brother once he starts to hit the whiskey.
The alcoholic didn't choose to have this particular reaction to alcohol, and probably has no recollection of what has been said the following day. What they DO have responsibility for is the choice to put themselves in a situation where they no longer have rational control over their actions, and the choice to stay as drinking alcoholics.
Forgiveness is something we do for ourselves; carrying resentment is something that will damage me, and have no effect whatsoever on anyone else's drinking or other actions. And I have the choice as to whether I stick with that (and sometimes I do linger with it) or put it in the past, where it belongs, and carry on with my own healing.
Whatever, it's very important not to take anything they say on board yourself - and in that respect it is INDEED the booze talking, or the alcoholism talking or however you may choose to phrase it. It's certainly not realistic observations from the viewpoint of a rational person, and I take it in much the same way that I did the hallucinations and delusions of mental health patients when I worked in a hospital.
It's not pleasant to be around, though, and these days I practise self-care by removing myself from the presence of my alcoholic brother once he starts to hit the whiskey.
The alcoholic didn't choose to have this particular reaction to alcohol, and probably has no recollection of what has been said the following day. What they DO have responsibility for is the choice to put themselves in a situation where they no longer have rational control over their actions, and the choice to stay as drinking alcoholics.
Forgiveness is something we do for ourselves; carrying resentment is something that will damage me, and have no effect whatsoever on anyone else's drinking or other actions. And I have the choice as to whether I stick with that (and sometimes I do linger with it) or put it in the past, where it belongs, and carry on with my own healing.
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Originally Posted by Rosalba
There's a difference between people who drink heavily on a regular basis, and alcoholics, within my experience. Alcoholics will suddenly 'switch' as the alcohol takes hold, in a way that other drinker's don't particularly - and they can be vile. Absolutely vile.
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look i don't believe in loss of control...i have had psychosis myself..that is not the same thing...i think believing you have loss of control is self fulfilling thing in the subconsciousness..you can truly believe this then start acting like a monkey after 3 drinks..it's a pass you give to yourself...i have had over 40 units of booze in one day..not once was this like a delusional state
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Yes, I feel differently. Alcohol and tablets changed my Mother and she evolved into something that was horrible. I know she would be mortified to see how her life turned out.
I'm blessed to remember the sweet, loving person she was before the horror of alcoholism landed on our doorstep and took every scrap of who she was away.
In my 20s, I thought I would never forgive her. Now I have utter peace with it. I just feel sad she gave herself the life she did.
I'm blessed to remember the sweet, loving person she was before the horror of alcoholism landed on our doorstep and took every scrap of who she was away.
In my 20s, I thought I would never forgive her. Now I have utter peace with it. I just feel sad she gave herself the life she did.
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There's an old Latin statement: "In Vino Veritas:" In Wine There Is Truth.
When someone is drunk, they have few inhibitions and little sense of propriety. They often blurt out whatever is ugly in their heart, because that's what they're truly feeling at the time.
Often later they regret what they said, because it's not the overall truth--but for that one instant in time, it was what they truly believed.
When someone is drunk, they have few inhibitions and little sense of propriety. They often blurt out whatever is ugly in their heart, because that's what they're truly feeling at the time.
Often later they regret what they said, because it's not the overall truth--but for that one instant in time, it was what they truly believed.
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All I can add to this is that I know how it feels to have a parent say awful things to you and tell you that they should have aborted you, and then have his spouse tell me, "That's just the alcohol talking." I've heard it, too, and I didn't buy it then nor do I buy it now. He wanted to be hurtful. He wanted others to hurt like he did, so he lashed out when he was drunk at whoever he thought would sit through it. I was his daughter, I thought I HAD to sit through it. I wish I had known better.
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Originally Posted by lizatola
All I can add to this is that I know how it feels to have a parent say awful things to you and tell you that they should have aborted you, and then have his spouse tell me, "That's just the alcohol talking." I've heard it, too, and I didn't buy it then nor do I buy it now. He wanted to be hurtful. He wanted others to hurt like he did, so he lashed out when he was drunk at whoever he thought would sit through it. I was his daughter, I thought I HAD to sit through it. I wish I had known better.
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