he tried to kill himself...
 

Hello all~
So I kicked my A Fiencee out, but this past weekend was difficult. Friday I come home after work to him and his friend drinking on the porch. I made them leave (by threat of calling the police). He said he was going to come back, and I told him it was fine if he was sober and alone.Of course I knew he wouldnt be coming back... just go somewhere and drink more. So sat afternoon my mom calls and asks me to stop over my brothers, because he was suppose to come over, and he never has showed.. I go there, and I get there to find my AF and his Afriends... now there is more then one friend. my AF is sitting very silent and depressed on the porch, and he has qiut drinking for the day at this point. his truck window broken out, and his friends tellling me if he dies it is going to be my fault... because I dont love him. right...

Anyway, he ran a hose from his exhaust into his window and locked himself in. Thankfully one of his friends stayed as the rest hopped in a car and left as he tried to KILL HIMSELF... (what kind of real friend leaves you to die?!?!)
anyway one friend had to punch out his window and litterlly knock some sense into his head. he kept saying that he messed up the only thing he had that meant anything, and how if he lost me me lost the only one who even cared...

I told him that if he could prove to me that he could get help and quit for good... then I may consider letting him back. Is that a bad idea?

I am not letting him back at all until he can show me this, and have arranged with my brother to let him stay there... which he does not like, but im not forcing anything. but im telling him what he has to do if I am as imortant as he is claiming.

am I setting myself up? should I let him have one more chance if he can show me he isnt drinking and is getting his life in order? I couldnt imagine what horrid guilt I would feel if he did end up hurting himself, though I know it isnt my fault... but I would beat myself up about it and I know that already.

thanks guys!!

First of all, what anything of his friends say to you about your love for him is of no consequence, and I'm glad you see this. We addicts and alcoholics simply won't accept responsibility for our sorrow.
Your fiance has to prove to himself that he can quit. Before he does that, entertaining any ideas of a reconciliation is useless, for both of you. Sounds like the man needs treatment for depression as well as alcoholism. He will find both in a rehab facility. The longer he's around other using friends, the longer he will find excuses to delay getting help.
Good luck to you both.

What Dan said! *hugs for you*

Ditto.
(((((lilia)))))
Paula

Ugh! The old suicide manouver! :thumbsdow

I have to agree with the others he has to do it for himself. There are some major manipulations going on right now by both him and his friends.

Ngaire

I'm with the others - the suicide thing is really well below the belt
HugZ to you Lili
Sandra

So, are you saying that he actually put the hose in the window while he was in the company of his friends???????

I just can't help but wonder if it was an actual attempt or an attention show. Most people that attempt that--don't do it with others around.

I ditto the others above. The road to recovery is often a long one for those that need rehabilitation. Are you prepared to wait it out and go through the whole support thing to validate that you care? You will be challenged on that if he asks' you to participate in his process. Or will you tell him that you will be watching from a distance? Just wondering.

My, the things we go through for our A loved ones..............

God bless you in your dealings---do what you feel to do in your heart without the pressures and any guilt. Can he kick the bad news friends willingly. My AH said he did and was---but never did. Never stopped using either....he is now in prison...with a 10 year sentence........

2Sunshine