Old 07-17-2014, 03:44 AM
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 188

Hey guys

Well I just thought I'd post a little update for you. SD is doing really really well. She has a new boyfriend, who treats her like gold, really completely dotes on her. It's wonderful to see her happy, smiling and full of love's young dream. Long may it last!! He's also in a band, and plays the bass guitar, which she has been learning anyway, so she has formed a small band with some of her friends and they performed at her school's Summer Concert last week. They weren't brilliant, truthfully, but there's potential and she loves it so what the heck!! She's also done a resume, and has been taking it into various businesses for work over the summer break and has had some positive feedback. All these things are contributing to her feeling so much better about herself, and it's fab.

She doesn't hear from her mother much, the odd text, but nothing of any substance or value - usually just about herself. Her mother does also tell her she's seeing her nan, my MIL, which just winds SD up, although not as much as before because of all the positives in her life at the moment. SD hasn't seen my in-laws since that day when they told her if her mother drinks again it will be her fault, and she doesn't want to see them. They bring her down, criticise her about anything and everything, so she's better off without them. I don't see them either. They hate me and that's fine. My husband however decided that as they are old, he would go visit once a fortnight, for half an hour with strict boundaries in place - they are not to slate me or his daughter and they are not to mention SD's mother. He told them that if they do, he will leave immediately. So far it's working, but his mother has found another way of having a dig at me and her granddaughter!! The last time he visited, he came back with a bag of 'stuff' his mother had given him, telling him she was 'de-cluttering'. Okay then. In the bag was a framed photograph of my husband and I on holiday a couple of years ago, and a large frame containing a collage of photos of SD when she was a baby and toddler. Hmm, we all immediately saw the 'message' behind this. SD's words were - "my nan is a horrible, twisted b**ch". Usually I wouldn't allow her to speak about her elders like that, but she's absolutely right, and it's 100% true!! Funnily enough, the large framed photograph they have of SD's mother remains hanging in their kitchen, as do numerous other photo's of SD's mother all around the house - in the hallway, living room, stairway, upstairs, bedrooms and even in the bathroom! Funny that.

I have said to my husband though that even though SD and I know she's 'telling' us she's wiping us from their lives (which is fine), we would appreciate it if he didn't bring back any more 'stuff'. Perhaps she could give the photos of SD she doesn't want anymore to her mother?

Onwards and upwards folk, with heads held high
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Old 07-17-2014, 07:56 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2006
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That is such a good update. And frankly, from all the stuff you've told us, I would say your SD's description of your MIL is pretty much spot on.

One thing I tell my kids when people are being mean and hurtful to them is this: Remember, you only have to go to school with this person. Imagine the horror of waking up every day and being them.

That's what I thought about your MIL too. What a sad, horrid, bitter life you must be leading if you go to such extents to harm other people.
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