meggem

A light bulb has gone off in my head and I am really starting the see the black and white of my situation. I am starting to see more clearly what belongs to me and what doesn't and I am starting to see him more for who he really is and what he is really about.

I am starting to look back and see what it all really was ---and what it wasn't. And what I *thought* it was and I couldn't have been more wrong.

Sunday there was a "thing" - Oh wait I think I posted about that - last night he called me an F-in B right in front of my 5 year old -out loud- as clear as day. I (i know slap me) told him that the original divorce did not need to be re-written because it clearly states in the Property Settlement Agreement that the house needs to be sold YESTERDAY (however that needs to happen) and if it isn't he would be in violation of the policy and that he still has 16, whatever days to sign the agreement as is.

That's when he called me names. Who does that? Who thinks its ok to just spew off horrible names to someone? I'm looking at him in a completely different light than I ever have. At least I am during this phase.

I have to attend a 2 hour class Saturday for DD's kindergarten. In order for me to be a volunteer (catholic school) I have to take this class. It's been scheduled for a few weeks, it's on the calendar. I'll be gone a total of 3 hours.

Well he said that calendar "does not pertain to him anymore" and he was planning on "painting all weekend" so I need to find someone to watch the kids. I should have just said "ok" because my mom would do it, but I am feeling fiesty so I challenged him asking why it was solely my responsiblity to find a sitter so he can do something.

Well of course now I'm not "cooperating" with the sale of the house. I mean its just ridiculous. Get up at 6 am and paint until I leave. 2 year old goes down for a nap at 11 - the 5 year old can entertain herself. Before you know it, I will home. I will be home at 12 pm. Can't human beings paint from 12 pm to 9 pm? Or is this 3 hours that I am away from the house a deal breaker? REALLY??????

I feel angry. Like reaaaaallllly angry. I really need to restrain myself because I could go off. Big time. I'm in that place now.

lillamy

The fact that you're reacting that way is huge. When I showed my lawyer the e-mails my ex had sent me, his jaw dropped to the floor. He said exactly what you said: "Who does this? Who thinks it's OK to use this kind of language to anyone, let alone the mother of your children?"

I had to have someone point out to me how wrong it was. I had gotten so used to it that I didn't react. The fact that you're reacting the way you are shows how far you have come in separating yourself from him, and being able to say "THIS is unacceptable!"

Good for you!!!

TryingToLearn

I get called a f--- idiot so much I don't even hear it any longer and I was glad to read your post and see it made you angry because it's just plain wrong to speak that way to anyone. That's good you see it's unacceptable.

meggem

I didn't hear it any longer either Tryingtolearn. My horror was reserved for the "really ugly language" How perposterous is that??? Where have I BEEN??????

When did I decide that it was "ok" or excusable to have someone in my life call me names simply.... because? Because they didn't like what I said?

I'm OVER IT. SO Over it. I'M DONE.

TryingToLearn

You will never know how much it helps me to hear that Meggem. Makes me feel I can find the strength too.

meggem

Good I'm glad!!! Forget about all of the horrible things he he has done when he was drinking - being called names all by itself is reason to kick to the curb. I'm in major lightbulb/DUH mode the last few days and I pray to god it sticks

TonightTonight

Ditto! Meggem, good for you. Really - GOOD FOR YOU!!!