Hawkeye13

Sounds like the silver lining here is that you and your kids are getting a clear picture of what is happening with him.

Do you think he will actually move out from his Mum's, since he'd have to take care of a home and his own needs without your help or hers?

Butterfly

I don't know he was supposed to be moving into his place in June then it was July and now August but there seems to be problems!!

At the minute his life is pretty sweet he left me where I did everything for him to his mums were she is doing everything cooking his meals doing his washing he comes back from work his dinner is ready for him then he goes to bed and reads or he sits and has a few beers when they go to bed. Weekends he just drinks goes to friends no responsibility he just does what he wants. This is actually starting to annoy me the lifestyle he is choosing and that he makes no time for his kids!!!!

Given how quickly he is spiralling I don't think he will be able to manage on his own.

Butterfly

He contacted me today saying Hi and my anger at him exploded I told him he was selfish and thoughtless that he shouldn't have been here the other night and he had upset our daughter. He tried to say that it was obvious my daughter didn't want him there so he left!!!! I told him what he said to her but of course he denied it. He said he only came round because he was lonely and wanted to see the kids...... Again selfish and thoughtless and he's lonely well this is the life he has chosen!!!!

hopeful4

At this point it is most likely the most healthy for you and your kids to be no contact.

Butterfly

I have limited contact with him only about the kids. My daughter wants nothing to do with him anymore and he only sees my son about once a week.

Hawkeye13

I think you are right confused--he is spiraling down and in denial.

Block his number for now and tell him to text or email you if he has something he
needs to discuss about the kids.

Go out and do some beach laps, and know things will be OK
You are there for your kids, and you are growing stronger every day.

Butterfly

Thank you everyone. It's hard to watch him losing everything that apparently meant the world to him and to see him so depressed. I can't help him and at times I am sad that I couldn't do more but I have realised I have done all I can. It's up to him now.