Counseling
 

Do you attend counseling? Does it really help more than just sharing and talking at meetings, SR and to friends and family? I've went for SHORT periods of time in the past and always kind of felt like I wasn't getting anywhere.

My doctor has referred me to counseling, but didn't really give me any direction as to who or where. How did you pick where to go?

I'm also worried about the expenses of it.. I want to go, but if it's every other week and the same as a regular co-pay (for example) I'm concerned I'll give up because of the extra expense when I feel like I should or could be saving for other things.

Counseling was where I had a major breakthrough, but I believe it was because I finally had the right counselor. I went to one for over a year who did almost nothing for me, except listen to me talk and then make me pay her for it.

Several years later I found one who got right to the heart of things right away. She made me think hard, work hard, and understood me right away. I found her through one of my best friends who works for a church. All of the counselor's time was donated to me.

If you are associated with a church, I would check there. You never know who you might find that offers services for little or no money. I think it's also good to ask about someone with training/experience in treating those affected by addiction. Finding the right counselor is really important. I think it's absolutely worth the effort.

I went to a counselor for about three years, once a week, and it changed my life. I highly recommend it. I found her by picking her out of the phone book, and she worked with me on payment since my insurance didn't cover it. Over time I went for $0-90 a session, based on what I could pay.

I mean it, it changed my life.

I found mine by asking a rehab counselor for a recommendation for a good therapist with experience of addiction issues in families.

My therapist was extremely helpful not only in helping me work through trauma and guilt, but also in helping me figure out why I'm such a people-pleaser and why codependency fits me like a tailored glove.

I would very much recommend therapy if you can wing it financially.

Five years of therapy changed my life for the better in every way.

A couple of things:

• It is NOT a short-term prospect. Real change takes real time and commitment
• Take the time to find the right therapist. You both have to agree on the expectations and how things will work. Be honest and true to yor feelings.

If you're ready to make the commitment, then therapy is incredibly valuable. Having a trusted, neutral perspective who can focus on you is a lot different than a group thing (which also has value, of course). But those things aren't interchangeable.

Therapy has been the best investment I have ever made in myself (from a financial, and time perspective).

I am worth every penny I spent in therapy. It was time spent on myself and where I learned that self care is so important to me.

I have done a variety of forms, sometimes I go weekly, sometimes monthly.

The right therapist for where I am at the time makes all the difference. My current therapist is not nice and sweet and comforting for example. She would have made me run scared in the begining....I need that loving challenge now.

I agree it is all in the right person. I have attended counseling that I thought was a joke. This last time I attended several sessions with a Psychiatrist who specializes in families dealing with addiction. That made a huge difference for me b/c he could actually understand my fears and anxieties. If a person is not educated in addiction and is trying to understand something they don't, that's not likely to happen.

Counseling is no marriage. If you don't find one you like, try another. ASK AROUND, that is really important. I found a wonderful counselor for my daughter by a recommendation from someone at Celebrate Recovery. Those people know and understand the issues a teen has in dealing with an addict father and parents divorcing, so I felt they would be a good group to ask. It was spot on.

To support and echo all of the statements above, you must find someone experienced in helping families in crisis related to addiction.

My daughter being apprehended and charged for underage drinking is ironically one of the best things that happened to us as a family. The juvenile court system placed her in counseling with a woman who has seen and supported many, many teens affected by alcoholism in the home. She helped my daughter understand the source of her anger and insecurity and she helped me face what I had avoided dealing with. But again it must be someone who understands addiction issues.

I love counseling. It's really helping me to become a better person, which in turn makes me a better mother and probably a better spouse, friend, daughter, yada, yada, yada.

I found mine through google. She has a nice website, I emailed her then she called me and we talked about what I was looking for and then I scheduled my first appt with her where I was basically talking non stop. I was like that probably the first few sessions (I have seen her weekly since January.) I think it's really healing to just talk to someone entirely unbiased to your situation and to receive feedback from someone who REALLY knows what they're taking about and isn't biased by their own personal experience like you might encounter with alanon or SR friends and family. It's good to share but it's really beneficial to receive advice, feedback and suggestions from a licensed professional.

I highly recommend counseling or therapy to ANYONE in a close relationship with an alcoholic. But what you have to keep in mind is that "results" are gradual not immediate. What do you hope to get out of therapy? Keep your goals realistic and discuss them upfront with your counselor and have realistic expectations of what your transformation could look like and on what timeline. I initially expected to see mine once a week for a month and then maybe once a month for a few months and then be done. Lol Sooooo wrong. A woman from alanon recently told me that the only reason her marriage to her addict husband has survived their 40 years (and mostly enjoyable) is because they're both dedicated to going to therapy regularly. If my husband and I stay together I think we'll both be lifelong therapy/counseling participants.

Our insurance only pays $40/session for up to 20 sessions per person. Each of our sessions are in the $150 range for 45-50 minutes.

Thank you all so much. I guess that's the way I have to look at it, like an investment in myself. Like higher education in the mirror. ;)

I found searching through the list of providers approved by my insurance completely daunting and impersonal. I do however read lots of Psychology articles and found a nice list of therapists on one of the magazine sites and found someone (on paper) who looks like they could be a great match. I've sent off the initial consultation/introduction email to see if we can work on insurance and payments.

Feeling hopeful. :)

:c029:

So.. the counselor called me with in a half an hour of me sending the message. We talked for almost 45 min on the phone. I have a feeling this is going to be (in the short term) a very swift paced journey. I spent the whole night last night trying not to jump out of my skin thinking of all the things I've minimized. I have a pretty strong feeling I won't be in this place more than a few months. My mind was racing.. but I managed to slow it down to one thing at a time. I think you all are going to be right... this is going to me LIFE CHANGING! I'm very excited for the journey. Thank you again for your encouragement.