Patsfan

Hi,

I need your advice on how I should handle a friend who has relapsed after almost two years of sobriety. He is lashing out at everyone who cares for him and hanging around with a friend who is bringing him beer and a bad influence.

He called in sick to work two days in a row - a pattern he used to have when he was on a "bender". People were concerned and stopped by his house to make sure he was ok. He had several friends drop by. I asked only one of his friends to check on him (I was at work). He is angry about this. He is lying about the drinking, etc. etc. He got into a "funk" and stopped taking his meds (bipolar). I'm not sure if he is back on them.

He was a real jackass today and is in a miserable mood....probably because he knows he screwed up.

Just not sure how I should handle it. No contact? Tell him when he's been sober a week he can contact me? He usually texts me every day.

Any advice is appreciated. Thanks.

P.S. I know I can't do this for him and that I didn't cause it, can't control it etc.....Just looking for advice to help me navigate the muddy waters that lie ahead.

isitme

I would probably just tell him how much I care about him, and that I'm worried for his health and safety, but that I won't stick around to watch him self destruct. His choices are his own and when he's ready to turn his life back to sobriety I'll be there.

I'm not sure there is much else you can do. Sad But.. that's just my opinion.

lillamy

I'd probably text him and say something like "You know exactly what you need to do. I care about you. Get to a meeting and get yourself sober." -- and leave it at that.

NYCDoglvr

Here's the only thing you can do for your friend: pray for him. He knows you're there as a support, but it's time to pull back.