Be strong Jarp. Don't waver.

Old 07-08-2014, 04:29 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Pia
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I reiterated the conditions (treatment, commitment, sobriety and recovery for 12 months - for both of us), stated that I loved him, I believed in him, and would commit to keeping my side of the street as clean as I could, that I would try as hard as I am able to.


Good for you for being loving and kind.

I have experienced this several times, several times since we split. But actions speak louder than words. And having him stay away until he can prove it is the best thing.

I can love him from a far and know I did all I could and there is nothing wrong with it.

You told him what you expected and stay strong it's worth it in the long run.
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Old 07-08-2014, 05:44 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
Keeping it simple!
 
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Originally Posted by jarp View Post
AH sent me a message today apologising from the bottom of his heart, saying he could scarcely get his head around what he's put me through, that its horrifying. That HE doesn't think HE can ever see past it or get over what he has done.

And....please can he come home?

He then rang....and oh boy he was saying all the right things. He was sobbing his sorrow, his apology, his pain. He can't believe what he's done to himself and others. And please, please can he come home....
.
Do you see how we tend to make these things all about us? I use to do it too. And I feel bad for him, however, he is making this into a big pity party for him. That is just how I see it from my side, this is just my opinion.

My daughter and I went to see a counsellor together and of course she said how she felt etc, etc. Of course I was mortified and embarrassed and proceeded to go on about how sorry I was why I was behaving like that etc., and it was the alcohol and blah blah blah.

A few days later I thought about it and you know, that session was suppose to be about her and how my drinking was affecting her. And I managed to make it a pity party about me, like I could almost justify why it was okay for me to drink and make her life miserable!

So I would proceed with caution as yes it is fine to have some compassion for others, but at the end of the day it isn't all about us. Our drinking affects everyone around us and my drinking was a CHOICE. Bad crap aside no one forced me to drink. I did that.
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