Serious medical issues - Lying to doctors?
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Sacramento, CA
Posts: 63
Serious medical issues - Lying to doctors?
My family member who is a raging alcoholic has had several bouts of extremely serious medical issues such as seizures, severe vomiting and other stomach issues, gall stones and kidney failure. She spends many weeks in the hospital every year. She tells the family that the doctors don't know what is wrong with her. Is it possible that she is lying to the doctors? Wouldn't doctors be able to tell she is an alcoholic? Or maybe the doctors know the problem and they just treat the symptoms then discharge her, but she is lying to family about her alcoholism? Have you known anyone like that?
To us it seems incredible that someone relatively young could have so many extreme medical issues. We know about the alcoholism but maybe not all family members do. I wonder if this scenario is common?
To us it seems incredible that someone relatively young could have so many extreme medical issues. We know about the alcoholism but maybe not all family members do. I wonder if this scenario is common?
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
It is quite possible they don't know. It is completely crazy when someone puts someone in the hospital and refuses to tell the doctor the truth about what is going on. It is leaving the doctors to spend valuable time and effort, not to mention costly tests, in finding out what is wrong when everyone knows but them. Totally nuts, but people do this all the time.
To me it's like taking a choking person in and not telling them they just ate a chicken bone. Stupid. My mother in law (who did not drink or do anything to contribute to it, she had a hereditary disease) died of kidney failure. It was a miserable life leading up to it and an even more miserable death. Horrible.
This is just my .02 cents. I would tell the family member's doctor in one hot second, but that is just me.
Good luck and God Bless!
To me it's like taking a choking person in and not telling them they just ate a chicken bone. Stupid. My mother in law (who did not drink or do anything to contribute to it, she had a hereditary disease) died of kidney failure. It was a miserable life leading up to it and an even more miserable death. Horrible.
This is just my .02 cents. I would tell the family member's doctor in one hot second, but that is just me.
Good luck and God Bless!
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Yeah, I would also be one telling the doctors what I know.
I don't know if it would change anything, but if she were to die I would feel like at least I had tried to help her obtain medical treatment that would help.
I don't know if it would change anything, but if she were to die I would feel like at least I had tried to help her obtain medical treatment that would help.
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
It is very common for alcoholics to lie to their doctors and some alcoholics are very good manipulators too. Unless she shows up reeking of booze, if she talks a good game and her doctor is not that knowledgeable about alcoholism she is probably pulling one over. Many not only lie but walk out of the doctor's office with a script for Xanax and such to help with their anxiety.
The lying has to do a LOT with shame about being an alcoholic and in some cases with the fear of having it in one's files which could affect future employment or insurance rates.
If you read the newcomer to alcoholism forum, you will see the issue discussed quite often. Even people who are ready to quit and need medical help are anxious and fearful about talking honestly to their doctors.
The lying has to do a LOT with shame about being an alcoholic and in some cases with the fear of having it in one's files which could affect future employment or insurance rates.
If you read the newcomer to alcoholism forum, you will see the issue discussed quite often. Even people who are ready to quit and need medical help are anxious and fearful about talking honestly to their doctors.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
When my friend's severely alcoholic mom went through this is, it was more of a case of the Docs knowing exactly what was wrong but her lying to the family about what they were telling her during her exams & treatments.
She would stand there, visibly jaundiced, and lie through her teeth to her DD, (who was a fully grown woman & licensed physician with a Master's Degree) and say they just "couldn't figure out WHAT the problem was!" And really act befuddled & concerned at the lack of diagnosis.
When DD finally managed to visit her during a hospital stay (she lived out of town) & read the charts herself, the truth was the docs had advised her repeatedly about her drinking habits but could only do what they could do considering the woman's husband was continuing to sneak vodka into the hospital for her & neither of them saw any reason or had any desire to change their habits. It was very, very tragic to me. They had a really beautiful life with everything a person could want but she preferred to drink it away & die a painful, slow death instead. And, of course, he continued to drink the same after her death.
She would stand there, visibly jaundiced, and lie through her teeth to her DD, (who was a fully grown woman & licensed physician with a Master's Degree) and say they just "couldn't figure out WHAT the problem was!" And really act befuddled & concerned at the lack of diagnosis.
When DD finally managed to visit her during a hospital stay (she lived out of town) & read the charts herself, the truth was the docs had advised her repeatedly about her drinking habits but could only do what they could do considering the woman's husband was continuing to sneak vodka into the hospital for her & neither of them saw any reason or had any desire to change their habits. It was very, very tragic to me. They had a really beautiful life with everything a person could want but she preferred to drink it away & die a painful, slow death instead. And, of course, he continued to drink the same after her death.
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest, USA
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Neither of my elderly parents are alcoholics, they are both chronically mildly mentally ill with depression and anxiety. They do lie and minimize their stuff with their doctors and never, ever let us kids know what's really going on with them medically. We sisters usually find out more information pooling our stories together than trusting what either of my parents say. They're just not reliable narrators.
The doctors probably for sure know she is an alcoholic. However hospitals aren't rehabs, and if she doesn't want their assistance with her addiction, they really can't provide it.
Like my folks, her denial and minimization is part of the problem. It's hand in hand with the problem.
She tells the family that the doctors don't know what is wrong with her. Is it possible that she is lying to the doctors? Wouldn't doctors be able to tell she is an alcoholic?
Like my folks, her denial and minimization is part of the problem. It's hand in hand with the problem.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
Denial!
Nobody is going to admit they have an addiction to anyone for any reason until they are ready to admit it to themselves first.
People lie to doctors all the time. Smoking, eating, drug use, alcohol consumption, depression etc. etc.
To protect their addiction they lie even when it is detrimental to their health. I mean if you think about it, almost all addictions have a health issue tied to it. If someone did not care about starting then they do not care about stopping because of health reasons. I know I never did. Not one time did I look at my ½ gallon of whiskey and think “That is really bad for my health”, not once!
Nobody is going to admit they have an addiction to anyone for any reason until they are ready to admit it to themselves first.
People lie to doctors all the time. Smoking, eating, drug use, alcohol consumption, depression etc. etc.
To protect their addiction they lie even when it is detrimental to their health. I mean if you think about it, almost all addictions have a health issue tied to it. If someone did not care about starting then they do not care about stopping because of health reasons. I know I never did. Not one time did I look at my ½ gallon of whiskey and think “That is really bad for my health”, not once!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4
My father lied all the time to his doctors, he was homeless and impoverished and sick and living in a salvation army shelter--right up until the time when the VA told him they'd give him money for admitting it. Then he admitted it all over the place and does to this day. But he still doesn't let the doctors get in the way of his drinking.
He's an insulin dependent diabetic who's been told he had to stop--but he won't. He just measures out the insulin before he drinks.
He's an insulin dependent diabetic who's been told he had to stop--but he won't. He just measures out the insulin before he drinks.
Bunnies!
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,905
AM lies through her teeth to doctors, therapists, and family. Doctors know, but as someone already mentioned, it isn't rehab. Nothing they can do. Her therapist is a former colleague of hers and believes every word she tells him. Most of the family buys it.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 4
My husband started out with an alcohol problem. Then he went to his GP to get help for that "sluggish" feeling. His doctor prescribed xanax. I immediately called his doctor and let him know he had a problem with alcohol. Doctor still gave him xanax. I finally went to the doctor's office and told him the truth after a couple years when my husband became hooked. I was dealing with alcohol and xanax abuse. Doctor was "shocked" saying my AH just came in that week and lied his way into another prescription for xanax. The doctor said he would end his prescription but in the end he didn't
Husband has ended up in hospital numerous times. He would warn me that HE should do the talking to the doctors and he would lie about what was going on. He would tell his family he had no idea what was going on and his family would blame me. :-(
Husband has ended up in hospital numerous times. He would warn me that HE should do the talking to the doctors and he would lie about what was going on. He would tell his family he had no idea what was going on and his family would blame me. :-(
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Sacramento, CA
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wow. Thanks everyone for replying. I don't have access to her doctor or hospital so I can't/won't be getting involved with informing them. I can really relate to several of your stories though - with this person and with my own parents.
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Originally Posted by aGrandma 
My family member who is a raging alcoholic has had several bouts of extremely serious medical issues such as seizures, severe vomiting and other stomach issues, gall stones and kidney failure. She spends many weeks in the hospital every year. She tells the family that the doctors don't know what is wrong with her. Is it possible that she is lying to the doctors? Wouldn't doctors be able to tell she is an alcoholic? Or maybe the doctors know the problem and they just treat the symptoms then discharge her, but she is lying to family about her alcoholism? Have you known anyone like that?
To us it seems incredible that someone relatively young could have so many extreme medical issues. We know about the alcoholism but maybe not all family members do. I wonder if this scenario is common?
To us it seems incredible that someone relatively young could have so many extreme medical issues. We know about the alcoholism but maybe not all family members do. I wonder if this scenario is common?
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