Vomiting Blood?
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: over there
Posts: 253
Originally Posted by OnawaMiniya 
My husband just threw up what appeared to be blood. No coffee grind appearance. I realize this could be many things. He does not want to go to a doctor and is lying down. Has anyone else had this experience or been through this?
Thanks.
Peace.
Thanks.
Peace.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,281
OnawMiniya, you and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers.
It's frustrating that medical personnel who deal with alcoholics and addicts day in and day out have no specific training in that area. They know the ravages of the disease, stop-gap measures to deal with the physical symptoms and they realize that most will continue to use, but actual knowledge of the disease and referrals to those who specialize in addictions seems to be greatly lacking.
Finding that there are people experienced with alcoholism and addictions that I can turn this over to helped me immensely. I found calling rehab centers to ask questions eventually led me to getting beyond the logistics and asking more questions that started to help me. Part of what changed is when I stopped looking for help for him, and started looking for help for me, because I couldn't deal with it. All rehab centers are a bit different. Talking with Licensed Addictions Counselors really helped me with getting out of my rut and changing the way I talked to my husband. He's been to two rehabs now, with several relapses in between them. The more things got worse, the more he'd drink to try to (ineffectively) cope with it. As I start really seeing how illogical and irrational this disease is, it sadly makes perfect sense that my husband would drink more as he stressed more, which was a never ending wheel -- that's the disease at work. Recovery requires serious help from those with alcoholism/addiction experience. Beyond that, more serious help is required for those with other underlying issues.
What I found in working my own recovery is how to start taking care of myself and turning my husband's illness over to others. There are many people out there much more capable of dealing with his illness than I am - it was mostly a matter of figuring out who they are and how to turn this over to others.
The more I take care of me, the more I'm able to reach out for help from others. It's not easy and for me it took quite a while to come around to. It is very worthwhile and worth every step. As I figured out how to reach out and get help for myself, it made it easier to figure out how to reach out and turn my husband's problems over to those who are equipped to deal with them. Even if my husband hadn't been willing to go into a center, it was invaluable to me to know there were places that could deal with him where I could not, especially after all the rounds of dealing with the conventional medical system and going nowhere.
http://salvationarmyusa.org/usn/adult-rehabilitation
How are you doing today? (((hugs)))
It's frustrating that medical personnel who deal with alcoholics and addicts day in and day out have no specific training in that area. They know the ravages of the disease, stop-gap measures to deal with the physical symptoms and they realize that most will continue to use, but actual knowledge of the disease and referrals to those who specialize in addictions seems to be greatly lacking.
Finding that there are people experienced with alcoholism and addictions that I can turn this over to helped me immensely. I found calling rehab centers to ask questions eventually led me to getting beyond the logistics and asking more questions that started to help me. Part of what changed is when I stopped looking for help for him, and started looking for help for me, because I couldn't deal with it. All rehab centers are a bit different. Talking with Licensed Addictions Counselors really helped me with getting out of my rut and changing the way I talked to my husband. He's been to two rehabs now, with several relapses in between them. The more things got worse, the more he'd drink to try to (ineffectively) cope with it. As I start really seeing how illogical and irrational this disease is, it sadly makes perfect sense that my husband would drink more as he stressed more, which was a never ending wheel -- that's the disease at work. Recovery requires serious help from those with alcoholism/addiction experience. Beyond that, more serious help is required for those with other underlying issues.
What I found in working my own recovery is how to start taking care of myself and turning my husband's illness over to others. There are many people out there much more capable of dealing with his illness than I am - it was mostly a matter of figuring out who they are and how to turn this over to others.
The more I take care of me, the more I'm able to reach out for help from others. It's not easy and for me it took quite a while to come around to. It is very worthwhile and worth every step. As I figured out how to reach out and get help for myself, it made it easier to figure out how to reach out and turn my husband's problems over to those who are equipped to deal with them. Even if my husband hadn't been willing to go into a center, it was invaluable to me to know there were places that could deal with him where I could not, especially after all the rounds of dealing with the conventional medical system and going nowhere.
http://salvationarmyusa.org/usn/adult-rehabilitation
How are you doing today? (((hugs)))
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 1,099
Thinking of you OM. Glad you got him to go. Men can be so stubborn when it comes to going to the doctor and asking for directions! I think they are afraid if the Dr but would never admit it. Hope he recovers. We are here for you.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 1,218
Aww, I really am touched that people have continues posting in this thread with well wishes. I really do appreciate the love and positivity being sent our way.
Thank you all very much.
Your post brought me to tears.
I'm a strong person, and always have been. I understand that I cannot change anyone. I might have an influence on people, make them think. But that's the most I can do, is make someone think. They have to evolve into a better version of themself.
I guess I am... I don't even know the right words. I guess distanced a bit emotionally, simply because I know I cannot change him, I know he will most likely do this until he dies, and frankly, if (when) he kills himself by being an alcoholic, I will have so much pain at that point...I guess I understand that losing my mind over these things does no good. It does not change him, and it leaves me literally physically ruined from the emotional pain. Know what I mean?
But as calm as I am now, and as calm as I was through this, I will say this: it is a sad, sad, sad sight to see your husband standing over a toilet bowl, vomiting blood, saying to me,"I'm sorry....I'm sorry...." in between vomiting, while I wipe the bloody vomit off of his feet, off of the toilet seat, off of the floor. While he's telling me he will do that, and I'm saying not to worry about it, and let's get you to a doctor so we can find out the cause of this, and whether it is something putting him in immediate danger of death, or not.
Sigh.
Out of my hands.
Peace.
Thank you all very much.
Originally Posted by LightInside
OM,
You seem kind of numb or maybe you just are really detached enough that you don't need to freak out about this. I'm glad you are not panicking or needling emotional support, but I just feel sad that this is the experience you are having as a spouse.
Whatever your feelings or thoughts, I wish you lots of peace and something joyful soon.
Blessings,
LI
You seem kind of numb or maybe you just are really detached enough that you don't need to freak out about this. I'm glad you are not panicking or needling emotional support, but I just feel sad that this is the experience you are having as a spouse.
Whatever your feelings or thoughts, I wish you lots of peace and something joyful soon.
Blessings,
LI
I'm a strong person, and always have been. I understand that I cannot change anyone. I might have an influence on people, make them think. But that's the most I can do, is make someone think. They have to evolve into a better version of themself.
I guess I am... I don't even know the right words. I guess distanced a bit emotionally, simply because I know I cannot change him, I know he will most likely do this until he dies, and frankly, if (when) he kills himself by being an alcoholic, I will have so much pain at that point...I guess I understand that losing my mind over these things does no good. It does not change him, and it leaves me literally physically ruined from the emotional pain. Know what I mean?
But as calm as I am now, and as calm as I was through this, I will say this: it is a sad, sad, sad sight to see your husband standing over a toilet bowl, vomiting blood, saying to me,"I'm sorry....I'm sorry...." in between vomiting, while I wipe the bloody vomit off of his feet, off of the toilet seat, off of the floor. While he's telling me he will do that, and I'm saying not to worry about it, and let's get you to a doctor so we can find out the cause of this, and whether it is something putting him in immediate danger of death, or not.
Sigh.
Out of my hands.
Peace.
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