Teamwork?
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Nowhere, VA
Posts: 540
Originally Posted by GracieLou 
When I was in the middle of a divorce from my first ex-husband, who was also an alcoholic, I was waiting for the child support to kick in. I took the kids over there for the weekend and he gave me some coupons he had cut out of the paper to "help" me.
Wasn't that nice?
I told him I needed some money not coupons. I can't use the coupons if I don't have any money. He half laughed and told me he had a jug full of pennies in his room.
I told him that I would take them. He thought I was kidding, I wasn’t.
He didn’t give them to me.
Wasn't that nice?
I told him I needed some money not coupons. I can't use the coupons if I don't have any money. He half laughed and told me he had a jug full of pennies in his room.
I told him that I would take them. He thought I was kidding, I wasn’t.
He didn’t give them to me.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
Originally Posted by Blossom717
What an ass!! I hope child support kicked in quickly.
The kids are grown and he passed away almost 5 years ago from acute alcoholism. They told him if he drank again he would die and he did.
It makes me sad. The kids were only 18 and 20. He missed out being able to view them as people rather than just kids. Of course if he was still drinking I am sure the selfish nature of the disease would not have allowed it.
Even though he was an alcoholic the kids miss him a great deal. I wish I could take their pain away. All I can do is love them and be a living amends myself and hope they can work through their own anger and resentments.
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Be careful with a house that's been on the market that long. Homes don't like to be empty for a long time. Have it checked over really well so it's not a money pit for you. I am doing some remodeling at my own house and one thing keeps turning into another and another, all of a sudden I am out quite a lot of $.
However, if it's in good condition, go for it! It's always better to be paying on a home that you have equity in as long as you can afford home ownership!
However, if it's in good condition, go for it! It's always better to be paying on a home that you have equity in as long as you can afford home ownership!
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Sydney Australia
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Originally Posted by Blossom717
When he went into the hospital the last time, he missed a whole weeks worth of pay and I covered the whole week of the sitter and never asked him to pay me back. I let it go. I'm not asking him to let it go necessarily, just be patient and I can't even have that.
.....Is this normal for relationships? is Patience not to be expected? or understanding? or is this an A thing? If it were the other way around I would have to understand for him.
.....Is this normal for relationships? is Patience not to be expected? or understanding? or is this an A thing? If it were the other way around I would have to understand for him.
Just suggesting....because the rest if your post is almost as if you are trying to validate that it's OK to be short on babysitter money.
2 wrongs will never, ever, make a right.
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Originally Posted by Croissant
Did you let it go? Or did you save it up til now and use it as "payback"? As in, "oh well, I covered his butt last time, he can cover mine"?
Just suggesting....because the rest if your post is almost as if you are trying to validate that it's OK to be short on babysitter money.
2 wrongs will never, ever, make a right.
Just suggesting....because the rest if your post is almost as if you are trying to validate that it's OK to be short on babysitter money.
2 wrongs will never, ever, make a right.
Also - I know that if it were the other way around he would tell me to just accept it, and he would still come up with a way to buy $20 worth of beer a night. It just irritates me, makes me feel like we are at odds instead of a team
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Join Date: Aug 2013
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Originally Posted by Blossom717
I didn't bring up the time I covered for him. I know that I'm in the wrong for not having all of my share, and I said that. All I would like is a little understanding and patience, since I gave him what I could and I promised to pay back the rest on Friday.
I sound harsh, but my point is - don't give him a reason to act like you are indebted to him. I hope you see the point I meant. Just because you've gone to what you feel are the ends of the earth for him, doesn't mean he will do the same, ever....in fact it will become a sticking point, as it has.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
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[QUOTE=Blossom717;4752954] Ha, and I'm ready for bed here...not my best time.
Just because you are fair and reasonable, doesn't mean he will operate in the same manner. Like for like.
Sorry...so whilst you might think it's a fair swap, you covered him once, he should cover you....unlikely to happen. You probably already know that, so expecting him to cover it....you didn't really expect him to without carrying on, did you?
Originally Posted by Croissant
You did think it was a fair swap though?
QUOTE]
I don't understand, sorry. Do I think what was a fair swap? Sorry I'm slow before lunch time
QUOTE]
I don't understand, sorry. Do I think what was a fair swap? Sorry I'm slow before lunch time
Just because you are fair and reasonable, doesn't mean he will operate in the same manner. Like for like.
Sorry...so whilst you might think it's a fair swap, you covered him once, he should cover you....unlikely to happen. You probably already know that, so expecting him to cover it....you didn't really expect him to without carrying on, did you?
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Join Date: Apr 2014
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Posts: 540
[QUOTE=Croissant;4752975]
Ha, and I'm ready for bed here...not my best time.
Just because you are fair and reasonable, doesn't mean he will operate in the same manner. Like for like.
Sorry...so whilst you might think it's a fair swap, you covered him once, he should cover you....unlikely to happen. You probably already know that, so expecting him to cover it....you didn't really expect him to without carrying on, did you? You have a point. I don't know why I ever expect anything from him. I really try not to, sometimes I still catch myself thinking this might be a normal healthy relationship. Then I get brought back to reality.
Originally Posted by Blossom717
Ha, and I'm ready for bed here...not my best time.
Just because you are fair and reasonable, doesn't mean he will operate in the same manner. Like for like.
Sorry...so whilst you might think it's a fair swap, you covered him once, he should cover you....unlikely to happen. You probably already know that, so expecting him to cover it....you didn't really expect him to without carrying on, did you?
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