jarp

I thought I'd ask this here as the other morality question saw me initially saying to myself "yep...I'd contemplate sending over the vodka".... So maybe my compass is off.

I recently saw a lawyer who advised that in my x plan, I should execute before ah hits rock bottom and not after....

In that....he is a big earner (4x what I earn) we have average assets, and she said as long as he was still employed and I had full custody of the kids that I'd be awarded a larger percentage of the asset pool. If I wait until he is unemployed etc that the courts would award him a larger percentage of the asset pool. I'm not out for all I can get but I brought all the assets to the marriage (we've since built on them together), and my earning capacity will always be much smaller than his. I've also had to work part time as he wouldn't participate in the care of our 2 special needs kids, further reducing my earning capacity.

This isn't asking for legal advice (I'm not in the US and there are differences in our legal systems) but I asking....would you be as....calculating as to time your departure with him still being gainfully employed??? Fr the specific purpose of ensuring you get a larger percentage of the asset pool.

Or should I just make my plan and whatever happens....

AH has already flagged he doesn't think he'll be employed by the end of the year...if not before then.

Thanks in advance.

AnvilheadII

why would you WAIT?

ladyscribbler

One of my character defects has been procrastination. Awhile back I chose to let go of that defect. The result was that I won an iPad in a raffle. Was that immoral? No. I deserved that prize. Won it fair and square.
Your kids deserve the best you can get for them. Don't procrastinate.

dandylion

jarp---the only thing I can possibly think to say is what anvil just asked, also...Why in the world would you WAIT??

It seems to me that the highest morality, here, would be to take the best care of yourself and your kids that you possibly can.

There is absolutely no glory in martyrdom!

dandylion

PurpleKnight

If divorce is on the cards and there's no going back, as other's have said, what's the delay? . . . the timeframe decision is going to be immaterial I would have thought!!

suki44883

Absolutely go for it while he's still employed. You have children to care for.

desypete

reading this post makes me think how on earth did my ex wife get away with paying not a single penny for our kids that i have looked after for the last 8 years

she had no money she quit her job to make sure i couldn't claim a cent so i guess your partner might do the same as my ex and try to make sure you will not get a penny out of him
there was nothing i could do to force her pay as she lived on her boyfriends earning and earned money herself cash in hand so no one knew how much she was earning

in the end i just gave up it was like trying to get blood out of a stone and to me its the best thing i could of done so that i wasnt at war with her for longer than was needed to be
so do what you need to do for the kids as its all about them now and good luck to you