meggem

I have a million thoughts in my head. The house still needs odds and ends done before we can list it, I still need to live here but I can't just not do something this weekend that could contribute to the end of this mess.

I'm wandering around in my head. Do I buy boxes and take everything off the walls? Do I sort toys and risk mayhem from the kids. Do I clean out their closet and donate clothes that don't fit them anymore? Do I clean out a closet? Do I do all of this?

Do I pick up a can of trim paint and paint a trim risking a reaction from him because "he is going to do it" ?

Do I try to do all of the above? I know I'm rambling and the more I type this the more I realize it's not that complicated. I guess I'm just looking for ideas, validation or someone to listen. I'm overwhelmed.

I'm at a weird point now. I'm in that in-between. I told him it was over. I got the attorney - I retained her, I gave her the info. I called a realtor. He gave me his list. Now I'm stuck and I'm sure just going about my business this weekend is probably not the best use of my time.

pixilation

Declutter. Get boxes and start finding stuff to sell or donate. That's what i would do.

MissFixit

Declutter is such a good idea. Closets, drawers, cabinets. Buy boxes. Sell, donate, keep, throw away.

FeelingGreat

Hey Meggem, I agree with the others that getting rid of unwanted stuff is a great first step. If you're so overwhelmed that you're paralysed, why not pick a cupboard and start clearing?

You'll need a big packet of garbage bags, or cardboard boxes so you can sort into rubbish, donate and keep and sell. If you list your better stuff online at really low prices you could get enough to cover some of your expenses. You may need a skip depending on how much you're chucking out.

I cleared out my mother's place when she went into assisted care in late December, and then prepared the house for sale, so I've got a reasonable idea of what's involved.

Hawkeye13

Declutter and start the trim painting yourself.
If he wants to "take it over" you've gotten him off his a$$ at least
or if not, the job is started.

Hammer

From what I see you describe -- I would make a list that covered EVERYTHING ahead -- from where you are now to when you turn over the keys. (Sort of plans everything out, too).

Figure out which bothers or harms other folks (e.g. packing up the kids' toys) and put those way down the list. Some other things will have to happen before some others -- (e.g., patch the crack in the wall would come before painting the wall).

So then you will be left with the things you can do first, and sort of in order.

But so . . . that is how an Engineer may do it.

Of course, planning this would take all day . . . so nothing would really get done.

Perfect.

unsureoffuture

Make a list of all the ideas you have in your head and then start slowly tackling them one by one. Don't overstress yourself by trying to do too much. Take some time for yourselff to enjoy the weekend.

dandylion

meggem---I, also, agree with everybody else.....start de-cluttering...start anywhere.

After the first couple of trash bags...you will be on a ROLL!!!!!!!!!

dandylion

hopeful4

Hi meg. I would say to make a complete list of things that need to be done and just pick a couple. That way you are not overwhelmed. If you get that couple of things done, pick one more. It's a lot easier than having some huge list of things you humanly cannot accomplish in a weekend in front of you.

Take a little time to relax a bit, you have been under a lot of stress.

Big Big Hugs. You are doing great!

ShootingStar1

People like to imagine themselves in a house when they are potential buyers. So the first thing I'd say is to get all of the toys, junk, clutter, out of the way. You want them to see the house, not your stuff.

Some tasks take a huge amount of effort and time to show any results. Painting the trim is like that. You have to paint all the trim for it to look better, and that is time consuming. I'd wait on that. Buyers will look and say, yes, the trim has to be painted and I don't like that color anyway.

Some tasks like picking up and organizing the kids toys make the house look better immediately with only a little effort.

I'd start there.

Ask your realtor for help deciding what will do the most in limited time to sell the house.

And good luck!

ShootingStar1

pixilation

You shouldn't need to buy boxes though. Hit up the grocery stores, gas stations, recycle bins(if you have citywide ones like i do)

Thumper

Good luck Meggem. It is easy to get paralyzed with so many stressful things going on. I agree with waiting on anything like painting. One step at a time. You can do it!! Preparing and selling a house with all the life stress, full time work, and four little kids was massively overwhelming and stressful but once I got going on the packing and organizing it was actually quite cathartic because you can *see* progress and actually get things crossed of your list. I'm a list making type

meggem

ohhhhhhh I never thought of that !!!!

hopeful4

Definitely meggem....I have never bought a box! Banana boxes from the grocery store are great, as well as Staples paper boxes from any offices or Staples themselves. I know our Dollar General Store sits out boxes all the time too.

m1k3

I'm putting my vote in with the "List" crowd. Just having it in writing can be a relief. Pick a couple of easy ones and then get them checked off. One thing at a time in manageable, looking at everything all at once is overwhelming.

Your friend,

Refiner

Here are some of the tips my realtor told me when I sold my house: Of course, declutter... like someone else said, ppl want to see house, not your stuff. Go very minimalistic and stage the house. In fact, this is a good opportunity to let your AH realize you're splitting. Perhaps you both get storage units and decide on who's taking what in the divorce. Move any extra furniture into the storage units (and extra TV's, stereo equipment, etc.) to have very minimal furniture in each room. And limited knick Knacks on shelves, etc. And also, I was told to take down any photos or things that are personal to your family. Ppl want to see themselves in your home, not that it's someone else's home (this includes all the kids stuff stuck on the fridge! ;-)

Bullfrog

Watch a few episodes of "Hoarders" to get you going, then purge and declutter.

meggem

Thanks so much you guys. I appreciate it. I took 95% of the wall hangings in the dining room and living room down this morning while the kids ate breakfast. Packed up two boxes, I have 2 donating bags and then I started to wander around aimlessly so I figured I would post and let you know. I'm in the family room now and thinking of taking a hit at the paper overflow around the crappy 60.00 desk area.

HealingWillCome

You're off to a good start. Way to go!

Paper flow is a monster. I've been catching up with mine this summer. Be careful to shred or burn documents (bank and credit card statements, etc.) you don't need anymore but don't want in the hands of identity thieves, nosy neighbors, etc.

FeelingGreat

You've let loose a heap of advice here Meg. Posting about alcoholic partners is one thing, you get a few responses, but what we really like is organising the house! Anything you do is better than sitting paralysed.