Courage To Change 06/27/14
Behold the power of NO
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
Courage To Change 06/27/14
I always felt that my loved one’s drinking was a terrible reflection on me, and I worried about what people thought. One day he told me he wanted to get sober. I was elated for a day, until his next binge. Then I was devastated. Some months later, my loved one finally did go to AA. Two days later, the drinking began again. The most important thing I’ve learned in Al-Anon since then is that my well-being cannot depend upon whether or not the alcoholic drinks. His behavior is not a reflection of me, it’s a reflection of his disease. However, my behavior is a reflection of me, and I owe it to myself to pay attention to what it has to tell me. I have to take care of myself. I have to accept that alcoholism is a disease which can be arrested but not cured. Many alcoholics make a number of attempts at sobriety before actually getting sober; others never do. My life is too important to waste waiting for someone else’s choices, even when it’s someone I dearly love.
Today’s Reminder
No matter whether the alcoholic in my life is drunk or sober, the time to put energy into my own recovery is right now.
“Al-Anon helped me to focus my attention on what I could do about my situation, instead of concentrating all my attention on what I thought the alcoholic should do. I was the one who had to take a stand.”
. . . In All Our Affairs
No matter whether the alcoholic in my life is drunk or sober, the time to put energy into my own recovery is right now.
“Al-Anon helped me to focus my attention on what I could do about my situation, instead of concentrating all my attention on what I thought the alcoholic should do. I was the one who had to take a stand.”
. . . In All Our Affairs
Behold the power of NO
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
My life is too important to waste waiting for someone else’s choices, even when it’s someone I dearly love.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Iowa
Posts: 3,050
For me this is an ACoA thing, the belief that other people's behavior reflects on us. Whether it is a spouse, child or even just someone I happen to be standing next to, that old feeling of near panic when someone associated with me draws any kind of negative attention.
Both my parents really drilled into me the importance of not making THEM look bad. Because if I did something wrong, someone might look at them.
This is one of my character defects that I have recently become entirely ready for my HP to remove, thanks to my Alanon step work and a tricky life situation that I have thus far managed to navigate with my program, resisting the urge to fall into my old behaviors and thought processes.
On the money as always, thanks for the good reading Carlotta. And so timely. Clearly procrastination is not one of your character defects, lol.
Both my parents really drilled into me the importance of not making THEM look bad. Because if I did something wrong, someone might look at them.
This is one of my character defects that I have recently become entirely ready for my HP to remove, thanks to my Alanon step work and a tricky life situation that I have thus far managed to navigate with my program, resisting the urge to fall into my old behaviors and thought processes.
On the money as always, thanks for the good reading Carlotta. And so timely. Clearly procrastination is not one of your character defects, lol.
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