What are your "triggers"?
 

You hear about "triggers" that remind you of events, situations, etc. that relay to your emotions. Perhaps the smell of an apple blossom reminds you of a childhood place, maybe raining weather reminds you of a car wreck that you were in, etc. (You get the idea!)
A friend of mine and I go to concerts in the summer. And every year, we end up having a portion of the same conversation.
The smell of alcohol is a trigger to me. Actually, it's a trigger in 2 phases. The smell as well as the surroundings will first remind me of when I was a teenager and would go out partying with my friends. But that only lasts a few seconds, then it triggers into the feelings that I have now about AH. The smell of alcohol can disgust me and make me feel ill at my stomache, if I let it, it can consume me with memories of past events where my AH was drunk and the smell was there.
Interesting enough, my friend's (who is divorced) trigger is the smell of weed. She said that even after all these years of being divorced, the smell can still make her angry! And it gives her a headache. Her ex was also an alcoholic and did some other drugs as well during the course of their relationship. (He's been clean and sober now for a few years!) But apparently the events that were the most painful for her must have revolved around the weed as that is her trigger.
There is also a certain type of weather that we can have that is a trigger for me as well. Catapults me back to a night that was a turning point in the marriage between AH and I. When the weather is a certain way, slightly rainy and with a certain degree of chill, the setting takes me back to 10 years ago and I can still feel the way I felt back then.
I know it is our choice if we allow this to affect us or not. We choose if we let it linger or if we choose to let it go and move on.
But do you have triggers as well?

I don't have the kind of triggers you have. Mine are more along the lines of hearing "I'm going out for a couple of beers".. That is always an all nighter.

Or "I'm going golfing".. Golfing is not complete without a drinking buddy and a prolonged stop at the 19th hole, then a bar, then someone's house, etc etc...

Music can take me back to where I was and how I felt.

My triggers are some songs and when I smell alcohol on others. Any song that has something I have experience will make me thing of things in the past but not all the time bad times but good times too. When I smell alcohol on others I sometimes thing do you know what you are putting your family through and that you are making an a## out of ourself. But I am getting better with the second one. I know there are people that can drink responsible and it took me along time to be able to believe it.
Love,
Shana, 18

Thanks!!!
 

Thank you so much for sharing that. I have never put much thought into triggers but to hear you say what you said it make so much sence. I am still some what new to alanon and am trying to figure out my emotions and it can be overwhelming at times. I have always heard about alcoholic triggers but did not ever apply them to my self but it is so true. I would have to say mine is smell also. It can just send me into a rage. An internal rage. I get so pissed off inside. You would never know it out side but it is like i have a battle going on with my self. Usually after appling the first step and some other slogans i can get my focus and serinity back but up until i read what you wrote i could never put my finger on why i felt such anger and how i got to that mental argument with my self!! So thanks it puts it in perspective!!!

Vicky,
No problem. I hope you find the support on these boards that I have. Just keep coming back.
Love,
Shana, 18

I've been trying to really pay attention to triggers lately. Not only the ones that involve the A in my life, but other relationships that I have with other people.
It's been pretty insightful really. I've come to realize that alot of my triggers are things that relate to my past that I haven't gotten over yet.
And it's interesting to see that some of you know what triggers you while others of you don't - just thought by posting this topic, it may give me insight. thank you all for your replies. I love this group of people.