Hawkeye13

Dear SP;

I want to wish you strength and success in court today.

You and your kids will get through this.

Get support and don't let him intimidate you--you can do it.

Praying

Sending you support and prayers today.

Maybe...assume any word he speaks is a lie before it comes out...hard to do when you can't imagine it...but it helped me keep my own head.

You can do this!!!

hopeful4

Sending you huge hugs. Be strong, YOU CAN DO THIS.

searching peace

Thank you all for your supportive and heartfelt advice, comments and kind words. He plead not guilty and so they set a court date. I felt like I had been punched in the gut and abused all over again. They sent my daughter a notice to appear in court. She will be in college 10 hours away when court date is. I called the city's attorney and no one has called me back. The city's attorney thinks these are ridiculous charges and rolled his eyes when I was trying to ask questions Before court began. I know he does this everyday, but I don't. And yes this particular time that the police were called was nothing by comparison but it is the only charge they listen to and nothing else seems to matter, not the fact that AH is an A. None of the prior abuse. And AH told me that his attorney said the city attorney thought the charges were ridiculous and shouldn't go anywhere. Who knows what he actually said. But that was what I got from him as well.
I think my AH is trying to turn this around on me and say I have been abusive to him. He is going to have all of these people testify on his behalf that I have never even met. Like his AA sponsor.
I am just going to tell the truth and not allow him to intimidate me. Well try not to.
I'm still working. It is a part time job but the hours don't lend themselves to me being able to get another part time job or be able to take care of my kids. Right now my older daughter is taking care of the younger two. But when she goes to college, I don't know what I will do. I'm going to have to find another job. I'm still in the house, but I know that is going to change and I cannot afford rent or a mortgage with what I'm making. I cannot even afford a tank of gas on what I'm making. But it is better than nothing. I'm sure my yonder two and I will have to go to a shelter. I hate it for them. And my ex H the kids dad, when I explained I was having financial difficulties and that my situation had changed decided now would be a good time to insist I pay him for half the travel expenses for my son to visit him. It is in the divorce agreement but we have never done that. And he has not done what he was supposed to do in the divorce agreement. But he knows I cannot afford to go back to court and so he is choosing now to cause more problems for me. But I know this is where I'm supposed to be and I have to go through this in order to her to the path I am meant to be on.

hopeful4

SP, don't ask your AH what his attorney is saying. It is going to be a bunch of malarkey anyways, why cause yourself any more anxiety?

Stay the course. Look for another job. If your son's dad has not stuck to his end of the agreement either I would not worry about it. My attorney cautioned me on this. Said to stick to what is in our agreement b/c if I did not my X could go to court and say we never stuck to it anyways, and it's likely a judge may not enforce it then. I would say that is just what would happen w/you too. If he would take you to court, show up, tell the truth. That's it. You cannot give $ you don't have.

You are a strong and good person. Continue to be that person.

Tight Tight Hugs.

dandylion

SearchingPeace....darlin', I don't know where you live..but it sounds like the court system, there, is the pits!!

I also want to say that I admire how tough and tenacious you are being with this whole process (compared to when this started...LOL). Good for you!!

I feel that I must ask: Honey, exactly how much support are you getting? Any help from the local domestic violence people? Any court advocate for you to help you through these proceedings? Any social services for housing or financial assistance, etc???
Any counselor?

Well, you do have us. I am so glad that you have continued to post and let us know how you are doing.
It is so important, psychologically, that you realize that you are not alone and that people care about you...and to feel validated in your own feelings!

You are NOT alone, SP, so please keep in very close touch with us.

You ARE going to get through this. You do have better times coming your way!!!!

dandylion