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-   -   Priorities (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-alcoholics/335922-priorities.html)

Blossom717 06-19-2014 10:05 AM

Priorities
 
Text convo with ABF earlier:

him: sent me a snapshot of a craigslist add for a jet ski just under 2k
me: ?
him: Looks like fun
me: a jet ski?
me: that amount of money would be better used towards (daughters) birthday and fixing the many issues with the house
him: I guess that's true for the season passes too (to a waterpark. idc about that either way)
me: yup
him: Yea, I do need to save up for a t-top for my boat :)


THATS NOT HOUSE REPAIRS! and I highly doubt our three year old wants that for her birthday......the man sure does have his priorities. Our house has some weird odor he refuses to acknowledge, the dishwasher is broken, the floor underneath the vinyl tile in his bathroom is rotted from leakage. and our DD's 3rd birthday is exactly a month away....

can't wait to leave. keep me motivated!!

lillamy 06-19-2014 10:08 AM

Whether he's an addict or not, he acts like a 17-year-old.

Blossom717 06-19-2014 10:18 AM

lilamy ....TOTALLY AGREE. I keep worrying that I will convince myself to stay. as long as I keep facing these issues, I don't think I'll have a problem.

lillamy 06-19-2014 11:10 AM

Some say alcoholics stop developing emotionally at the point in time where they become addicted. That was certainly true with AXH. I don't think he was much over 17 emotionally, like your ABF, he always put his own needs ahead of those of the kids.

That's not adult responsible behavior. You don't need that. And if you ever start wavering in your resolve to leave, you can just go back and re-read your posts here. :)

Blossom717 06-19-2014 11:27 AM

lilamy, you know what is kind of sad about it? he's 10 years older than me and so he thinks that automatically means that he is more mature. sure, he makes 3x what I make. But he blows it on things like above, or marijuana or alcohol. I've eaten a peanu tbutter sandwhich for breakfast and lunch today because I didn't have money to get enough groceries (daughter got better....eggs for breakfast and dinner left overs for lunch)...while he eats out every day. <----another reminder for me that I can survive when I leave.

PS...Peanut butter sandwhiches are awful, they're good and cheap ;)

hopeful4 06-19-2014 11:42 AM

It's all about who??? Him of course. Sigh.

((Blossom))

redatlanta 06-19-2014 02:11 PM

Does he not contribute money for groceries?

Sounds like he is living in egocentric land. You know where the whole world revolves around him and his jet ski. LOL.

Blossom717 06-20-2014 05:06 AM


Originally Posted by redatlanta (Post 4728637)
Does he not contribute money for groceries?

Sounds like he is living in egocentric land. You know where the whole world revolves around him and his jet ski. LOL.

He contributes when there is something he wants.

I don't even know why he wants a jet ski, we live 1.5 hours from water!

changeneeded 06-20-2014 10:01 AM


Originally Posted by lillamy (Post 4728343)
Some say alcoholics stop developing emotionally at the point in time where they become addicted. That was certainly true with AXH. I don't think he was much over 17 emotionally, like your ABF, he always put his own needs ahead of those of the kids.

That's not adult responsible behavior. You don't need that. And if you ever start wavering in your resolve to leave, you can just go back and re-read your posts here. :)

This is certainly true of my AH. He is selfish and demanding. A 17 year old boy. His family tells stories of when they all were younger. He has 2 sisters and a brother.

When they would sit around and play board games; checkers, monopoly , whatever if he was losing he would.... kick the board and stomp off, angrily. I feel like that is what he does now; if things are not going his way he will make a fuss and ruin the event for everyone.

He will try to do the same thing. Put everyone on a tight budget, want something like a boat or an expensive piece of fishing equipment and if I make a comment he will toss a fit. (Not that your's had a fit)

Stay strong!!


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