sadgirl16

So things took a huge turn for the worse last night, I've been feeling depressed since that last fight, he said I should apologise for always "getting on him", I ended up saying sorry for some reason, anyways last night he wanted to drink cider, so he did and everything was fine for a bit, we had a few nice drinks together, later on we were making love and we stopped for a bit, and I noticed he was necking his drinks back, so I mentioned calmly could he slow down as he was going to end up hammered and I was sober and it would be weird, he went off at me saying I was nagging him, ruining the night and that he never gets angry if I don't mention his drinking, I shouted some stuff and it ended up me being the bad one cos he never raises his voice, I ended up going outside and apologising to him for mentioning it, then he started going on about sex and about how I've been with bigger guys than him and I should go to them.

He went on and on about this for ages then started bringing up my sexual past, he knows I got sexually assaulted not long ago in 2013, and what an effect it's had on me, he started saying I used to be a **** that I slept with 30 people in a year, and he started making up all these numbers and saying well the numbers add up so you are a ****, and that was it for me I had, had enough, I screamed at him to get out, get his stuff and leave, he made threats against me and my daughter, saying he was going to get Social Services to take her off me, I said I'd recorded him threatening me on my phone, I hadn't but I wanted him to stop, anyways he chased me through my house, I tried to lock myself in the bathroom, he kicked the door open grabbed me and threw me to the floor against the toilet, wrestling me for my phone, which he got and flushed down the loo, I thought he was going to beat me up, I just broke down whimpering could not stop crying, he just stood over me saying "I never hurt you Gemma, I never hurt you" and walked off, he got all his stuff out, I went to my friends and called the police.

He's been arrested and bailed for assault and other charges, I'm only bruised and cut a little and shook up, but mentally I feel dead, the horrible thing is a few weeks ago we went to drop my daughter off at school, anyways we came back and I could not find my keys, he got really angry cos I'd locked him out and he had a meeting and had a right go at me, anyways we went to get spares from my mums, when we got back, I could not find my other keys anywhere, he was saying how I always lose stuff and to get another pair cut, back to present day, when I kicked him out last night i locked all my front door and snuck out through back and locked that, he was in my house when the police arrested him, he had my keys the whole time, made me sick to my stomach that I trusted this man and he was manipulating me so hugely for so long.

Anyways end of story, feel tired, feel blank to be honest.

SeriousKarma

Sadgirl, I can't even imagine how horrible you feel right now. I'm sending you hug, and prayers, and support, and all the good stuff I can muster.

You had mentioned earlier that you didn't have much money. Are there any domestic violence services in your area, or any other free services that you could use to get some help for yourself?

sadgirl16

Yeah I'm going to go to Victim Support.

Thanks x

SeriousKarma

I'm really glad to hear that.

You've been through so much. Not just what this guy's put you through, but with the bulimia and past sexual assault... wow.

Treat yourself gently, and please realize that there are people that really do care about you and want good things for you. I don't mean just a few people either. You don't have to climb out of this pit alone.

I'm not familiar with Victim Support. Do they offer counseling services? Legal services? When will you be going there?

((((( hugs ))))))

Mags1

Hi sadgirl, just wanted to say I'm thinking of you and sending hugs xxxx

killerinstinct

I'm sorry that this has happened to you... I know how broken
you feel I went through that too, you're not alone. Where is your daughter staying is she safe? Do you plan on getting counselling? Is it officially over between you two??

sadgirl16

Yeah counselling and legal, and yes it is over, my daughter is at her dad's she is safe. x thank you for your support x

hopeful4

I just want to say im praying for you. You are brave and very strong. You deserve people in your life eho truly care about you and dont harm or manipulate you. There is a free app called Aspire that dr phils wife released, its a great safety app, pkease get it if your able. You can look up her site whengeorgiasmiles

Please stay safe and keep us updated.

Tight tighthugs!

Brindie

Sad girl - feeling for your horrible situation, and wishing you some respite now he's been removed. A couple of practical things - you say he was arrested and bailed. That means he's been through court, right? If so, in a DV case there will be conditions attached to the bail, including no contact with you. Check these conditions with the police or fiscal, and make sure he sticks to them - for your own peace of mind and for his benefit (if he breaches, they will re-arrest). So now you have some much needed peace to focus on you. Take care, and use the space wisely x

scacra1

Hello, and welcome, this place will honestly make a huge difference for you.
instead of me typing loads of advice for you, i would simply suggest that you search for my posts and read them in order.... i started out where you are now about 18 months back, the same questions, is he alcoholic? is it my fault? how can i save him etc? he only drinks on the evening and has a job, he has quit! and so on, the posts show you the gradual change in the situation and i think you will learn from that - i suggest in 18 months you will be in the same situation as me.
Let me know how you get on?
Thinking of you - i understand your pain.

sadgirl16

Bella jack could you send me a copy thank you.

Thank you for your kind words, x

Bellajack4

I sent it. I hope it helps you. Just know you are not alone and you and your daughter deserve a great and happy life because you have a strong, kind, loving, and caring heart. Your daughter is very lucky to have such a great mom and a great role model.