willoe

My partner and I have been together for eight years, both fighting addiction to drugs and alcohol. I lost my daughter over it. But now I have been clean for a year and a half, quit smoking and trying to get myself together. I suffer from anxiety and deppression. He quit with me at first, but later I found out that he had been sneaking booze behind my back, lieing to me constantly. Since then he has promised over and over he is going to quit this time, I have to be supportive..... And over and over he hurts me with more lies and deceit. He says I give him a hard time and it makes him want to drink. I know this is all bs but it is so hard to think clearly amidst all the emotional baggage. What do I do? Am I a fool to think that he will be able to fight this or am I wasting my life away? Also, I do not want this to cause me to fall off the wagon. If I do, I know my life literally and figuratively is over. Problem is, I love him completely with all his shortcomings.

Hammer

You doing this on your own, or some program or what?

Asking because if you are -- it sounds like Double Down time on all that from what you are asking. These are not the questions of a 1-1/2 year person, with a Sponsor who is working the Steps, you follow?

btw, Welcome to SR.

willoe

Went to a couple meetings, but basically did it on my own. This is why I am seeking out other support now.

desypete

i had to get out of my relationship with my ex wife as we were both battling alcoholics and we lost our kids from it all

i left her got myself into aa and within a year i got my kids back i am so glad to be out of that relationship sadly she is still drinking and the kids have noting to do with her. she doest even think of the kids never sends them a card or anything, she is in a relationship with another drunk and seems happy enough to stay like that without even trying to do anything about our kids

breaks my heart at times as i know the kids love there mum but thats how it goes until or if she ever gets into aa and faces up to herself

if i was you i would quit your relationship if your sober now for over a year you have a good chance at making a life for yourself and your kids
good luck to you

Hammer

All good.

Have you looked at Alanon (the Friends and Family side of AA) yet?

Sort of works through the same program, and gives you all the resources, tools and help.

airwick

I am not giving advice on what you should do. That is something only you can decide. I can tell you what happened to me, and you can judge it for yourself Seem fair?

I was married for 13 years. My husband was an Alcoholic and I was following right in his footsteps I have a son, and had to think of his well being before my own. I moved out, got situated in home. Filed for divorce and stayed focused on situation and alternatives I had. I still speak to my X and only wish the best for him. Yet, there has been too much straight out lies about alcohol use that I can no longer believe anything that comes from his mouth. Yet, I do know he still loves his son and myself. Just in a different way then husband and wife. The choice to not drink can only be made by him. At first I believed that I was being selfish leaving, now I realize it would be selfish to my son if I stayed.

He can fight this, but he can do it without you. Live your life. It is the choice my X must make too. I will always be there to support, but I can't do it for him. I've heard all the lies I can possibly handle, he believes his lies, that is the sad part. But I'm ROOTING for him, but not waiting