New with ???

Old 02-11-2002, 08:15 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
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Post New with ???

I am new to this forum and would appreciate some advise. I recently started seeing a guy I dated about 9 years ago. Then, we had a good relationship but I ended it due to his accesive drinking. When we started seeing each other again, I told him that our relationship would have to remain casual, because even though he was not drinking as often as he used to, it is still too much for me. At that time, he admitted that he drank too much and expressed a desire to quit. Well, turns out things have gotten quite intimate and we have really fallen for each other. However, after standing me up because he was passed out a couple weeks ago, I told him that I could not see him any more because he needed to address his drinking problem. I told him that I felt if I stayed he would be quitting for me and not for himself, which would be of no benefit to either of us and would only cause resentment. He asked if he could think things over and get back to me, which he did about two days later. He told me he really wanted to address his problem, but did not want me to leave him. He asked me to help, since I am the only non-drinker he knows. He feels confident that he is doing this for himself (although I would be lying if I said I didn't have doubts). Now come the do I know if he is classified as an "alchoholic"? I read through the AA website and most of the symptoms do not apply at all. His drinking has never affected his work (he is there 60-70 hours a week) and he financially responsible and independant. But his drinking level was probably about 8-10 beers, 3-4 nights per week. He hasn't had a drink in two weeks and is having no physical withdrawls and has had no mood swings. As a matter of fact, he is coming up with all these great ideas about redecorating his house, etc. He is quite proud of himself, as am I. I have never dealt with a situation like this and really want to help, so any advice you all could offer on how I can help him would be greatly appreciated.
Old 02-11-2002, 08:36 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Peoria, IL USA
Posts: 105

Pernell would probably be the best one to answer your question. All I can say is that his drinking affected you. Remember how you felt when he stood you up and how you felt when you found out it was because he was passed out? Only you know what is right for you. No guarantees that it will happen again or that it won't. Please keep posting and let us know how it comes out.
CherylG is offline  
Old 02-11-2002, 09:05 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Join Date: Feb 2002
Posts: 16

Here is a link for a free on-line inter-active Clinical Assesment for alcoholism. Have your significant other take this alcohol screening test. He will get the results ususally with-in 4-8 hours. Any information is confidential.

Serenity is not freedom from the storm but peace amid the storm....

Redeemed is offline  

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