bookmaven

I'm very careful not to tell drunkalog stories even in my AA meetings, and I avoid those who do. It's not helpful to me in my recovery. If you can't tell me what you're doing to stay sober I don't have time for you. One of the reasons it took me so long to "get with the program" was because I was attending meetings full of drunkalogers. I found a group that was more in line with my priorities - they meet at 6:00 AM. And I'm a night owl!

hopeful4

There are many here that are double winners. All are welcome! You are definitely safe here and definitely deserve to be here!

Have a great day!

DoubleDragons

I'm an alphabet person, too!

LadyinBC

I'm an alcoholic and I post and read over here all the time. I have never been told I can't/shouldn't post here and I have never felt unwelcome over here either.

At the end of the day we are really all in this together, addiction affects everyone in the family.

searching peace

I truly appreciate when an A is on this forum and gives me insight into that way of thinking. I am so desperate to understand all of this and why my AH is the way he is or behaves the way he does. And much more importable I am very desperate to understand why I react and act in ways I have, why I am codependent and how I can change myself. Any and all posts help me come closer to that understanding. I can only speak for myself. But I truly appreciate you posting in this forum. You are just as entitled to your thoughts and feelings and to share them as anyone else here. Thank you for being in this forum and I wish you success in your recovery and personal growth.

thotful

Al-Anon, AA, ACOA, I fit several of these as well.

Since I have experience with having a loved one suffering from alcoholism, then I am welcome to Al-Anon.

I do sometimes share the Alcoholic perspective side here, because sometimes members ask things like "do they love the alcohol more than me -- why?". I can certainly speak to my own experience on that topic and that might be of help to others (both having the same feeling with the alcoholic in my life, but also understanding how my love for others is effected when I am active in the disease).

I suppose the thing that I might struggle with is if I have a topic in mind, where am I going to place it? If I want to discuss triggers, or something about my recovery, then I post in the AA forum. But if I'm feeling upset about the behaviors of the active alcoholic loved ones, then I post in Al-Anon.

Diversity is a beautiful thing - I personally want to hear from those whose father is suffering, mother is suffering - sister, brother, daughter, son, uncle, friend, entire family, etc.

I would also want to hear from you, because through your double-winner sharing, I may hear the voice inside myself that I've drowned out for so long.

For me, it's like I'm 100% Al-Anon and also 100% AA. I'm not diluted in any way and quite frankly, I would find it offensive if I was considered less than other Al-Anon members simply because I'm also in AA.

In my personal story? I actually found Al-Anon first due to my concerns for my father. Through working the steps and working on me, I realized, I've got my own problem to deal with. After a year or so of Al-Anon, I went to an AA meeting and realized, this is for me.

Just my personal perspective.

PurpleKnight

I'm from the alcoholic side of things and decided to venture over the fence, I attended Al-Anon and Alateen when I was much younger as my Dad was an alcoholic, but now firmly see myself in the alcoholic category, but I have learnt soo much reading again from the other perspective!!

applecake

This section of the original post really hit home with me. It wasn't until I understood that raging codependency was driving my drinking that I ever made any progress in putting down the bottle. I often struggle to figure out how to participate in threads on this side of the board because so frequently I read posts that seem to paint the A as irredeemable.

I drank because I cared too much. I hated myself for making the problems worse by drinking, so I drank some more. It doesn't make sense, I know, but other double winners get it.

The last thing I want to do is stir up a poo storm on anyone's thread, but I don't always feel safe here because it often feels like we're on opposing teams.

bookmaven

Everyone's input has been very thought provoking. Thank you for sharing. I know that my obsession with attempting to control and keep my ABF sober did nothing but make me feel like a failure, which led me into my own black hole of addiction. I need both AA and Al-Anon to help MY recovery. And that's the point. I can't just work on my sobriety without addressing my codependency patterns and vice versa. I can't maintain healthy boundaries if I'm not sober and I can't stay sober without healthy boundaries.

hopeful4

Just your ability to recognize this is HUGE. Some never realize this and go down the path of destruction because they don't know that they have to do this recovery thing themselves. We all have addictions in life, for some codies it is another person, it can be food, drink, drugs, whatever. Until one realizes they are the only person in control of their own recovery they simply won't recover at all.

Good for you!

NYCDoglvr

After a meeting I heard a man say: "I'm in so many 12 Step programs I'm surprised I only have two parents." LOL

Carlotta

I just saw that thread (I was Googling Double Winners forums and what came up first but SR? LOL).
I think it would be an excellent idea.