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A long road - Part 1

Old 06-27-2014, 12:36 PM
  # 161 (permalink)  
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I follow your thread. Lots of good advice and support. I don't have experience with adult children so don't participate much.

I do know you can put a new password on your internet access every day if you want. It isn't to difficult and then you can give it to only the people you want to have it. Like a previous poster - I've also taken the router with me.

^^ The least of your problems. Good luck and so glad to hear you have an appointment scheduled.
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Old 06-27-2014, 05:48 PM
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Thank you Thumper. I am really happy that I have an appt. scheduled. One hurdle, many to go.

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Old 06-28-2014, 07:36 PM
  # 163 (permalink)  
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Hey Chicory

Just now catching up on this thread. I have no suggestions, so many wonderful ideas have already been shared. I do have a great deal of respect for you and what you are doing. I think it takes a great deal of courage to admit your son has a problem, and even more courage to ask for help, whether on SR or from a counselor.

I think that is what recovery is all about. To be willing to ask for help, and have the courage to take action. I know there have been times in my life when I shrunk into denial and did _not_ take action, so I know how difficult it can be.

I think you rock And I will check back here to see what you think of that counselor.

Mike
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Old 06-30-2014, 03:06 AM
  # 164 (permalink)  
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Mike, thank you. I am one of those slow learners, no doubt, but SR has helped me so much. Wonderful people make up SR, you being one of them, and I appreciate you all very much, the caring and sharing and encouragement.

I am just waiting for Wednesday, trying to keep calm and remain positive. Keep reading posts of those who have been there. I loved a post Chino made, about how her counselor suggested she set up a tent, and she did. If I did have the property to do that, I swear he would be happy and would run an electric line secretly, for internet, and break in to make coffee every day..lol. He doesn't want much, but doesn't want to do much to get it either!

hugs and thanks. I thought I had better check back in to let you know that I haven't given up!
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Old 06-30-2014, 04:26 AM
  # 165 (permalink)  
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chicory---only 48hrs. to go. I know it is hard, because you have anxiety...but, just try to stay as structured and busy as humanly possible, because it simply makes the time (seem) pass faster!

You are going to be fine. Repeat that over and over.....

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Old 06-30-2014, 04:40 AM
  # 166 (permalink)  
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Since you disclosed your plans of shutting down his internet and his phone last week, has he done anything differently? Has he made an effort to contribute to the household by securing his own phone or food stamps? (He is quite capable of finding this information on line, you know this).

if he is declared on disability can you cover him as a dependent on both taxes and your health insurance? (along with the monthly stipend you might get for supporting him)?

just questions to consider. although he graduated schools with no issue, there has to be some sort of testing.
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Old 06-30-2014, 04:42 AM
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Thank you Dandy, I will do that. Yes, anxiety is kicking in and I don't like it! but it doesn't stop me, just affects my day.

I will be fine, I will be fine! moving right along! like the Muppet song
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Old 06-30-2014, 04:46 AM
  # 168 (permalink)  
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Fandy, heck no. he is as good as I am, at sticking his head in the sand. He just acted like I was just being moody, venting, and went in his room and shut the door. I talk to the door a lot.. not much different than his hard head, actually.

I do claim him on taxes. I dont wanna live with him, honestly, unless he is declared unable to manage, after extensive testing or something. I thought about it today, and remember him getting up, setting his alarm, getting to work on time, he can do it, he just needs the desperation of having to do it. whether he can quit drinking , is another matter. sigh.

hugs !
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Old 06-30-2014, 04:51 AM
  # 169 (permalink)  
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chicory---you are anxious because you anticipate danger or something unpleasant....right?

Try visualizing the meeting as a pleasant experience in some way. Maybe, visualize her as a compassionate and kind person...and, think of how you might feel her as a friend in your corner. That is the most l ikely scenario, anyway!! No harm or fear will come to you. You will be in a "safe place".

I hear you....it must be that you have gotten so used to chronic anxiety that you have normalized it..and, plow right head, anyway!!! LOL.

You must be a real tough cookie......really...

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Old 06-30-2014, 04:59 AM
  # 170 (permalink)  
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chicory--I just thought of something funny...

Growing up in West Virginia......they used to say "as tough as a hickory stick"

I am going to change that to: "tough as a chicory stick"

LOL, LOL
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Old 06-30-2014, 06:55 AM
  # 171 (permalink)  
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Chic, you are NOT sticking your head in the sand. You have been resourceful and proactive. Once you have made up your mind, I think you will follow through with no drama or long-winded speeches to his door, just action...boom. phone and internet off, your own smart phone in hand.

and a tablet, laptop in your future for mobile access too.

You were very fair and forewarned him this was coming. I think you will feel BETTER after you meet with counselor yourself. You have someone you can get sound advice from on how to proceed both for yourself and him. there will be less anxiety down the road for you.
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Old 06-30-2014, 05:00 PM
  # 172 (permalink)  
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Thanks ladies. I was not so tough today, or yesterday. seems I am angry. blues then anger. oh well, not much longer.


Actually , the therapist sounded very kind. Mature but not old, kind but not sickly sweet. we shall see. I am ready for some peace. And to be as happy as I can be.

I feel like my resentment towards my son is kind of bubbling up, but I need to let it go for now. I have expectations that are just unrealistic.

worked myself into a headache, I have deleted so many things i wanted to say...lol.

you ladies are the best. thank you, for listening and encouraging me. big hugs!
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Old 06-30-2014, 05:35 PM
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(((((chicory)))))

many hugs and much love being sent to you.

From Lenina
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Old 06-30-2014, 06:08 PM
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Love to you ((((Leelee)))) thank you for the hugs, i needed them!
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Old 06-30-2014, 06:25 PM
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I'm following your progress, Chic, and have nothing to add except hugs.

You are moving in the right direction, you will get there one day soon...just wait and see.

Hugs
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Old 07-01-2014, 03:05 AM
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Thank you Ann. Hugs most welcome!
sending one back to you
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Old 07-01-2014, 05:00 AM
  # 177 (permalink)  
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I see a lot of progress too chic--be kind to yourself today

When you are ready it will happen, just like baking cornbread,
you can't take it out of the over too early or its ruined
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Old 07-01-2014, 08:17 AM
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HI Chic.....I just wanted to drop in and say I am thinking about you! Keep us updated, you are in my prayers!!!!

XXX
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Old 07-01-2014, 02:56 PM
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Aw, you guys make me feel good. and make me want corn bread!

Thanks for that Hawkeye. I sometimes feel so pressured. I have had a headache for two days now, but i think I got overheated.

Tomorrow is my appointment-1pm. I will update when I get home. I feel very positive about it.

thanks for the prayers and thoughts. they help.

xoxoxo
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Old 07-01-2014, 03:20 PM
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Sending positive vibes to you Chic! Will keep you in my prayers tonight.
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