Update
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 274
Update
I haven't posted for a while because I have been working hard on detaching. I have basically realised that I cannot stop or control my 75 year old from drinking - he has been drinking heavily before I was even born! This has given me a strange kind of freedom even if I do understand that drinking half a litre of vodka a day will shorten his life, especially given the pills he is taking for gout lupus high blood pressure, acid reflux irritable bladder.....
I have managed to get to 3 cat shows this year and enjoyed every one. It has been great to catch up with friends.
I am also taking more part in Facebook - easy way to stay in contact.
I know get some form of allowance for looking after my AH - not a great deal but it has taken some financial pressure off.
I do have some support from the local carers association -someone telephones me every couple of weeks, and that really helps.
I cannot get out much but am working on that.
I have been very lucky - a stud owner actually visited with her stud and I am hoping to have kittens later this week - put my life totally on hold last year and won't do it anymore.
I also met someone locally who wants to start a pet sitting business - this would be a great contact for me in an emergency if I had to go to hospital with AH and needed someone to care for my cats.
The bad news? Ah now has low electrolytes (sodium) so in my opinion that could well be kidney problems. More blood tests, and he has a bad lupus flare up plus bloodspots under the skin. He does get confused - could well be due to tablets. He for example, was cooking fish and it was boiling over. I asked him if he wanted to turn it off - he kept insisting it would turn itself off and when I challenged him said ' how many years have you been using a kettle'? We obviously do not cook fish in a kettle. He also told me yesterday he was going to switch the boiler on - he meant the bain marie to cook fish. I went to put the washing out at 7.30pm to find he had left keys in door locking me out - he said he had thought I had gone to bed!!! He has hearing aids but has 'lost' them - not sure if this is the case or he doesn't want to wear them!But I am coping and i feel much better than I did this time last year. I don't think my situation will last forever. I try to keep my AH fed, clean, going to doctors appointments and taking perscribed pills but emotionally I have 'detached. Yes, I am a carer but that is my choice and the only way I can keep my cats and my home - I sadly now know even after the heamatoma, AH has no intention of stopping drinking though he has cut down.
Sometimes your stories make me cry - I feel for everyone posting on this web ring and it is a huge comfort to me at times - take care everyone ...
I have managed to get to 3 cat shows this year and enjoyed every one. It has been great to catch up with friends.
I am also taking more part in Facebook - easy way to stay in contact.
I know get some form of allowance for looking after my AH - not a great deal but it has taken some financial pressure off.
I do have some support from the local carers association -someone telephones me every couple of weeks, and that really helps.
I cannot get out much but am working on that.
I have been very lucky - a stud owner actually visited with her stud and I am hoping to have kittens later this week - put my life totally on hold last year and won't do it anymore.
I also met someone locally who wants to start a pet sitting business - this would be a great contact for me in an emergency if I had to go to hospital with AH and needed someone to care for my cats.
The bad news? Ah now has low electrolytes (sodium) so in my opinion that could well be kidney problems. More blood tests, and he has a bad lupus flare up plus bloodspots under the skin. He does get confused - could well be due to tablets. He for example, was cooking fish and it was boiling over. I asked him if he wanted to turn it off - he kept insisting it would turn itself off and when I challenged him said ' how many years have you been using a kettle'? We obviously do not cook fish in a kettle. He also told me yesterday he was going to switch the boiler on - he meant the bain marie to cook fish. I went to put the washing out at 7.30pm to find he had left keys in door locking me out - he said he had thought I had gone to bed!!! He has hearing aids but has 'lost' them - not sure if this is the case or he doesn't want to wear them!But I am coping and i feel much better than I did this time last year. I don't think my situation will last forever. I try to keep my AH fed, clean, going to doctors appointments and taking perscribed pills but emotionally I have 'detached. Yes, I am a carer but that is my choice and the only way I can keep my cats and my home - I sadly now know even after the heamatoma, AH has no intention of stopping drinking though he has cut down.
Sometimes your stories make me cry - I feel for everyone posting on this web ring and it is a huge comfort to me at times - take care everyone ...
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: right here, right now
Posts: 6,516
Hi Quish,
Man, it sounds like you are pretty lonely there, caring for your husband. But it sounds like you've made some great strides in getting out more. And kittens!? I swear, sometimes pets make better friends than humans do -- at least they've got this unconditional love stuff down!
It also sounds like in the midst of everything you have actually found some peace and serenity. Knowing you can't control your A, knowing you can still go on with your life -- those are good, good things!
Big hugs to you!
Man, it sounds like you are pretty lonely there, caring for your husband. But it sounds like you've made some great strides in getting out more. And kittens!? I swear, sometimes pets make better friends than humans do -- at least they've got this unconditional love stuff down!
It also sounds like in the midst of everything you have actually found some peace and serenity. Knowing you can't control your A, knowing you can still go on with your life -- those are good, good things!
Big hugs to you!
Hugs from a fellow cat lover. 
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
I want to say hi and I'm glad you posted Quish. I always find comfort in being here.
Kittens - so exciting! That'll be a joy, & something to focus on besides all the negativity you're dealing with. Sending love out to you.
Kittens - so exciting! That'll be a joy, & something to focus on besides all the negativity you're dealing with. Sending love out to you.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Quish - I'm so sorry you're in the this situation and it does sound lonely and frustrating. YAY for another cat lover. I currently have 3.
I sit with clients who have alzheimers and I know it gets frustrating when someone we care about makes bad decisions either because they are under the influence or a disease has hit them they did nothing to get. Either way, we're human, it's hard.
I hope you keep posting. I'm not around as much as usual, as I'm living without Internet and just using my phone plan, but the folks at SR have kept me sane for many a year, just knowing someone was out there who cared, and we do care.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
I sit with clients who have alzheimers and I know it gets frustrating when someone we care about makes bad decisions either because they are under the influence or a disease has hit them they did nothing to get. Either way, we're human, it's hard.
I hope you keep posting. I'm not around as much as usual, as I'm living without Internet and just using my phone plan, but the folks at SR have kept me sane for many a year, just knowing someone was out there who cared, and we do care.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
Hi Quish!
Thank you for sharing your story. It sounds like you have done some growing and are taking care of yourself as well as your AH. Detachment can bring such peace.
I have four cats, none of which would ever be in a show, but they are winners of my heart. I envy you the arrival of kittens
Hang in there, I can see you work hard to take care of your AH.
hugs
chicory
Thank you for sharing your story. It sounds like you have done some growing and are taking care of yourself as well as your AH. Detachment can bring such peace.
I have four cats, none of which would ever be in a show, but they are winners of my heart. I envy you the arrival of kittens
Hang in there, I can see you work hard to take care of your AH.
hugs
chicory
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