thotful

Here I was looking for some meaning of forgiveness, then I google it, and find a great explanation that just hit the spot. Forgiveness - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

1. Forgiveness is the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offense, lets go of negative emotions such as vengefulness, with an increased ability to wish the offender well.

However, this is the kicker for me (I am told I'm holding a grudge, won't just get over it - making a mountain out of a mole hill, etc)

2. Forgiveness is NOT condoning (failing to see the action as wrong and in need of forgiveness

3. Forgiveness is NOT excusing (not holding the offender as responsible for the action)

4. Forgiveness is NOT pardoning (granted by a representative of society, such as a judge)

5. Forgiveness is NOT forgetting (removing awareness of the offense from consciousness)

6. Forgiveness is NOT reconciliation (restoration of a relationship)

I really needed this and totally agree with it. Plus, I have more affirmation in my belief that I have truly forgiven my loved ones that have hurt me. I have not condoned, excused, pardoned, forgotten, or reconciled, but I HAVE FORGIVEN. Forgiveness is for my peace of mind. I truly love my estranged brothers and their wives and truly wish them the best in their lives. They have not apologized and made amends, but that isn't necessary for me to forgive. However, they will no longer be in my life. It is not required for me to have them in my company in order for me to love and forgive them.

My personal experience, strength, and hope.

hopeful4

Wow....BRAVO!!!!

lillamy

I think the bolded part is where I disagree with this definition. You can intentionally and voluntarily decide to not seek revenge -- but I don't think you can intentionally and voluntarily stop feeling something. Feelings are what they are; it's how you act upon them that makes the difference.