Woodeye

My wife of 25 years is 15 days into an inpatient rehab stay for alcoholism. I'm terrified of how things will be when she is discharged. For almost all of those years we've really had a beautiful marriage. Three grown children, lots of memories. The past year or so she has become a heavy beer drinker, and recognized as much so checked herself into rehab.

She is a medical licensed professional and has to report herself to a peer assistance program where she'll have to attend AA meetings 4 times a week (after 90 in 90) and be randomly drug tested for the next 3 years, just to keep her license.

And I'm terrified. Our once "perfect" life seems so far away now.

Thanks for letting me vent.

wehav2day

hi woodeye, welcome to sr! you will find all kinds of great support here. vent away, that's what we are all here for.

obviously i don't know much about your life. but if your wife is an alcoholic, your "perfect" marriage would have gone to heck soon enough. it's amazing that she recognized the problem, sought rehab, and is willing to take the consequences. which, by the way, it's great that her profession has a system in place for recovery.

i wasn't such a proactive alcoholic. it's a miracle that my relationship, job, and health withstood my alcoholism before i finally got help.

sending you and your wife healing thoughts...

Thinking

Welcome to SR. You must have gone through a lot of upheaval over this last year or two. It's so promising that your wife has gone into rehab and I hope it all goes well. You need help and support too. Have you contacted Alanon? It's also useful to read the stories and information here. (A brilliant place to vent when the need arises....no one else will quite understand the way we do!)

Woodeye

Thanks to you both. I have attended a couple of Alanon meetings. Seems like a good place to be for support. When I see read other posts on this board, it seems my current problems are minor in comparison. This disease has caused so much pain for a lot of people.

Recovering2

Sometimes the only way through the fear....is through it. Keep going to AlAnon as your wife focuses on her recovery. You may find that your marriage ends up being new again and better than you could have imagined when she gets healthy!

Hammer

This part . . .

Sound DAMN FINE!

You Lucky B!

Really. Damn Fine.

You have the Best Setup of ANYONE I have ever heard of!

So what are you worried about?

How is Your Side? Your Program, Your Sponsor, Your Steps?

You are going to be running to keep up if she winds up working THAT Program.

btw, Welcome Aboard.

Woodeye

Thanks. For my part, I really don't know where to begin. Went to Al anon meeting. Reading all I can get my hands on. Worrying...

readerbaby71

Worrying will get you nowhere. Read all you can and talk with people in alanon. This friends and family board has been a lifesaver for me. My whole perspective on life has changed, and I've discovered a lot about who I am and the person I'd like to be.

Take care of yourself. Your wife is gone so this is a perfect time for you to focus on you and your healing. Welcome!

Stung

My husband's first sponsor was a dentist and had to do a similar program to keep his license as well. I think he has 5 years of sobriety now and is still married to his wife.

The most helpful reading materials for me were the "stickies" at the top of this forum (permanent threads) and posting my thoughts, feelings and opinions here and receiving feedback. Welcome to the board!

MissFixit

If you are worried about her coming home, have you checked out sober living houses in your area? Have you talked with her rehab on friends and family day about your concerns?

Carlotta

to SR
You mentioned worrying and it is actually the subject of today's Courage to Change reading http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post4681324

Woodeye

Family week is next week. I've got lots of questions

MissFixit

Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. Definitely ask all the questions you can to the professionals there and experienced folks here before she returns. Get as much knowledge as you can. Ultimately you cannot control her or her choices, but you can control yours. Knowledge is power. There are stickies at the top of the f and f page that will help.