How to respectfully approach family
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 3
How to respectfully approach family
I'm sorry if this is in the wrong place but I am a recovering Alcoholic and Addict at the age of 21.
My parents are not alcoholics however really can't handle much stress. Lately they have been verbally abusive to my brother who is 18 and I feel as if I need to address the issue (respectfully) before I leave town for college summer classes.
Any advice?
My parents are not alcoholics however really can't handle much stress. Lately they have been verbally abusive to my brother who is 18 and I feel as if I need to address the issue (respectfully) before I leave town for college summer classes.
Any advice?
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: right here, right now
Posts: 6,516
Wow. First of all, congratulations on being in recovery. Stay strong.
As for your brother... My kids were verbally abused by their father, and before I worked up the balls to leave him, I knew that changing him was impossible (he was an alcoholic), but I did what I could to give them strength.
Not knowing your parents at all, not knowing what kind of relationship you have with them, I can't tell you whether talking to them or not would make any difference. What do you think? Are they likely to listen to you and say "we're so glad you talked to us because we really didn't realize the impact our words have on you kids"?
If not -- you can always talk to your brother. Build him up. Tell him that when your parents are being verbally abusive to him, they're only using him as an emotional waste basket. The problem is theirs, not his. Share coping skills you've learned in recovery. Tell him to talk to a school psychologist or church counselor. I think you can be a role model for him in showing that seeking help doesn't mean you're weak, it means you're smart enough to know when you've reached your limit.
And I hope that being 18 means he's close to being able to leave their house.
You're a good egg.
As for your brother... My kids were verbally abused by their father, and before I worked up the balls to leave him, I knew that changing him was impossible (he was an alcoholic), but I did what I could to give them strength.
Not knowing your parents at all, not knowing what kind of relationship you have with them, I can't tell you whether talking to them or not would make any difference. What do you think? Are they likely to listen to you and say "we're so glad you talked to us because we really didn't realize the impact our words have on you kids"?
If not -- you can always talk to your brother. Build him up. Tell him that when your parents are being verbally abusive to him, they're only using him as an emotional waste basket. The problem is theirs, not his. Share coping skills you've learned in recovery. Tell him to talk to a school psychologist or church counselor. I think you can be a role model for him in showing that seeking help doesn't mean you're weak, it means you're smart enough to know when you've reached your limit.
And I hope that being 18 means he's close to being able to leave their house.
You're a good egg.
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