NWGRITS

Baby steps. And it's not just spouses who get disillusioned about just how far things can go with children involved. For years we always figured my AM would *never* drink when home alone with my kids. She babysat occasionally while I was working, and then they spent most of the time with her after my husband and I moved and they were at home for the summer with their dad. Everything was fine, until it wasn't. I got a call one afternoon telling me that my children were being placed in state's custody because my AM had been drunk as all holy hell while watching them for two hours while my grandmother was at a doctor's appointment. TWO HOURS. That's as long as she had to make it, and she didn't. I was physically ill knowing that my ignorance had gotten us into the situation in the first place. Thankfully their father managed to leave his beloved workplace and pick up the kids from the police before they were hauled off to a foster home. I was 3,000 miles away when this happened, but I moved mountains to get my children somewhere safe until I could find a way to bring them home to me. I haven't talked to my mother since, save for her taking explanation of a medical procedure I had to relay it to my grandmother. She will never see my children again. That's just one line you don't cross and get to come back over to my side.

You'll be amazed what you can do when you're motivated, believe me.

kathyi

Jarp -- your post brings tears to my eyes. You've done so much already and now you have the support of family and friends. Good luck with your conversation, stay strong. Your strength is encouraging. It helps me to see the way. Thank you

Blossom717

I think that you are wanting him to be the responsible parent he should be so bad that you are hoping it will happen naturally. I get that. I do the same thing. Do you just want your kids to have that 2 parent house hold? The one you imagined your kids would have, that you know they deserve?

But we have to open our eyes i guess. I'm still detaching, its definitely a process. It makes me sad i repeated the cycle my mother did, not even knowing until its too late.

You are waking up though, and you are gaining valuable knowledge. Even though your DS adores him now, he won't later. No matter what if you leave him or not, he will see his dad for what he is, and you can't hide that from him forever. best of luck