Doubt is Starting
 

Hey,
As some of you know, I split with my ABF earlier today because of his drinking. I know I've done the right thing (I'm staying elsewhere tonight) but nw the doubts are creeping in. Am I doing the right thing? Should I go back and try to make things right? Argh!
I haven't spoken to him since and he hasn't contacted me. I've been tempted several times to text him, and caught myself hoping he would text me. I know he won't, and I haven't either. I will probably have to see him tomorrow though as I need to get some stuff from the flat. If he is sober, then I want to talk to him then and try to get things organised i.e. Who is taking what furniture etc. I am not looking forward to this conversation at all.
How long will this hurt for? I'm struggling already really but I'm determined that this is it and I will not go back to him. How do you quash these doubts? Even though he acted like a dick, I miss him.

I don't know how long it will hurt? I suppose no longer than any else you have broken up with. Look forward! I wish you the best. You can do this.

It's the end of a relationship, regardless of him being an A. You're going to mourn the loss, and that's ok. Just remember what got you to this point. A relationship takes two people, and one person can't "make it right" on their own. If you have some of his quackery saved anywhere easily accessible, reading or listening to it can help snap you back to focusing on now. I'm not saying listen to voicemails or read email or messages obsessively and pine for him. I mean go through the crazy sh*t that sent you for the door in the first place. He is still that person, and that's what awaits you if you go back. (((Hugs)))

My best advice is to make a list of all the reasons why you want out and the situations that brought you to this decision. Keep it with you. If you are truly done, don't engage in conversation with him about the situation. Keep it business, who is doing what and where to go from here.

I am in this process with my STBXH right now. When he starts talking about how we got here and how to fix it, I just shut him down and tell him I made my decision.