So am I to assume that he WILL progress and get worse?
 

I have been with my A SO for a year now and am really struggling. Why? Because I have no knowledge of alcoholism and have now fallen very in love with an alcoholic. Someone I didn't even realize he was an alcoholic until now. Ive been coming here and also reading about what all might be involved for me. It seems like a huge risk. And although I have tried to break up wtih him, I just seem not able to.

He definitely can't go a day without his beer. When he first moved in with me, things were pretty rough. My kids didn't adjust well. His adult son spent nearly every weekend with us. It was all quite an adjustment. There were several other obstacles as well. So the first 6 months were rough. He would occasionally drink too much and got into arguments with me and twice with my oldest daughter. His son drank a lot too. After his second DUI, his son has quit drinking.

Now, things are pretty calm. Son isn't coming around so much to give us all a little space. My daughters are getting along much better with SO. He seems to have a handle on his drinking. But he still drinks so much. He doesn't get drunk. But he consumes a large amount of beer. a 12 pack nightly I would guess and maybe more on the weekend. No liquor, no drinking before noon. He isn't out at bars, he's home with me. He's kind, he works hard. He never misses work due to drinking. He is responsible, kind, loving, funny.

But I have read about how progressive alcoholism is. Does this mean he will progress and one day I won't recognize him?? I don't want to give him up just because I am afraid of what COULD happen. But, from what I have read it seems inevitable that he will be so addicted he can't stop drinking and he will hit rock bottom and my life will be miserable. How do I process all of this? I'm so confused. Do I just take things one day at a time and if I become unhappy then I end it? Or do I just cut my losses now? this is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I just don't know how to make sense of all of this. Things have never been better right now. But will it last??

I just notice this weekend how he has little broken blood vessels across the top of his cheeks. A sign of alcoholism, isn't it? Soon will his nose look like that? After meeting my SO, my best friend immediately asked me if he was an alcoholic. she said he looked like one. :frown:

Taking it one day at a time sounds like a good idea to me.
You can't predict where this is going to go.
He could progress in his disease, he could decide to seek recovery.
Just for today, you can stay with him and say a prayer that he choses the right path. I'll say one too.

Nightowl,

Yes he may get worse, alcoholism IS a progresiive illness. But you can take care of yourself and develop a strong Alanon program which will help you to make decisions about your life.

Ngaire

Nightowl -
I decided that I didn't have to decide whether or not to stay with my H right now. I decided that I would concentrate on working on myself.

I don't think that anyone can say whether your SO's situation is going to get worse or, if it does, when that might happen.

Your life can get better no matter what he chooses to do though and that's the great thing.
L

I am one of those people that look for what is about to hit me before it does so I can have the upper hand. With my AH it does not work this way.
My AH progressive disease crept up on me fast He would not go out to bars or stay out drinking he just drank here at home in the basement with good hiding places, so I could never know for sure how many he drank BUT the horriabe snoring was a good place to start. He was a 3.1 in the ER and was still walking fine.so the amounts of beer he was drinking really snuck up on me and hit me hard,,,, 24 in one day while trying to work... PLEASE! :dead1:
his work started being effected, he could not finish the cars he was working on, now he has decided he doesn't want to work on cars anymore he wants to try another carreer all together,,,..... :arms: OK please tell me it is not one that gives you so free time to run and go and do what you want you know first thing on his mind is the family he loves more than life.. He is not bringing it home 1 of the boundries I was able to keep. so now he goes out drinkes it and drives around like a teenage kid,...SAD SAD........ :guilty:
good luck in your quest for an answer.