Charmed3

I have been doing all I can to avoid texting, talking or email with my A. We have had very little communication for 2 months and until today it had been 2 weeks NC and very calming and peaceful.

I received my share of funds from retirement and am working on my own home purchase and it is in underwriting. Today they required some info on the mortgage for the house we had together. He was awarded the home, I got my equity from retirement funds. He was ordered to refi within 6 months which he says he is working on. Based on when he started his loan really should be done by now. I had hoped this wouldn't come up but my files are neat and orderly and are passing super fast through closing.

I am not sure why his refi is taking so long but I think any of us could take a stab at it and be correct.

I received a notice from the homeowners insurance Monday that the lien holder to the house we owned together would change on 5-22 so I thought he was signing docs this week and I couldn't figure out why they hadn't contacted me to sign a quit deed.

So I simply sent a nice text, explaining the mail from homeowners insurance and asking if his refi was done. Instead of responding by text he called, I thought no harm in answering, thought sure he would be nice and boy oh boy was I wrong.

He blew a gasket, did not want me to know who his lender is, accused me of trying to get involved in his stuff and telling me I needed to just take my name off insurance so I don't get anymore mail. He said he called them and told them to remove my name and they would not unless I send a request in writing. I tried to explain that as long as I am on the deed I have liability to the property and have to be on the insurance to protect myself.

He then gave me all the reasons why it likely won't go through. Because he thought I filed and paid our taxes and they want his taxes paid before they close the loan. I tried many times to handle taxes with him. He would not respond and didn't call until 5pm on tax day so I let him know I had filed earlier in the day as married separate and paid my taxes, it cost me a little more but mine were done. I did email him an extension to file for his own taxes and of course he showed no appreciation for that. There were also several other conditions it appears he can not meet but they are HIS problems, not mine. Sad because he had poor credit before we married, I took care of everything for the last 15 yrs and his credit was really good up to the time I left. Now.... not so much.

Told me he doesn't care about the refi and he checked in to it the court can't MAKE him refi. I said no they can't because they can't force someone to give you a loan but they can tell you your time is up and that if you can't refi you will have to sell. That just pissed him off and the threats started. I hung up!

He thinks (because I was told initially) that I can not buy a home until my name is off that mortgage. He has not missed any payments yet, but to protect my credit, twice I had to put money in to make sure the mortgage payment was paid. So my lending agent came up with a creative plan and got me pre-approved. We both think its best that I buy before he can't get approved or goes in the toilet and destroys my credit on the mortgage we hold together.

I have not had a home since the day I left and have been bouncing around between family and friends, staying with whoever has a spare room for a while. All of my belongings are in storage and I want to finish this and finally have a place to call home.

If you have a chance, please say a prayer that the underwriter will not have any more conditions for me and my loan will go through.

Sorry this so long. Thanks for reading, thanks for letting me vent.

firebolt

sending prayers! I know what it's like to be in living limbo - I hope everything goes through for you!

hopeful4

I work in ins, you are right, don't remove your name unless your name is off that deed. If that home goes up in smoke or if there is a liability issue, you definitely need protection.

Raider

Praying