Kelbell

Hi,
I'm new to this forum and have no idea where to begin. My sister is an alcoholic. She lives 1200 miles away from us (my family and my parents) She has had problems with depression over the years, but it wasn't until recently that we realized that she has this problem. She really exposed herself a couple of weeks ago when I was admitted into the hospital. She called me and was intoxicated. I had never heard her like that and I was so angry, I didn't know what to do with myself! I handed the phone over to my mom and mouthed that she was drunk. My mom asked her if she had been drinking and she said yes. Not too long after that, my sister words were so slurred that my mom couldn't understand her - a few minutes later, the phone went dead. Tonight, my sister called to wish my 4 year old a Happy Birthday. She was obviously drinking. She was just too chipper and interested in the birthday party. She said she had just gotten up (she works nights in a famous jazz club - great!), but my caller ID said she was somewhere else. She said she was still groggy. After we talked for a while she said she would call tomorrow to talk to my daughter, who was asleep. She said she was going back to bed. RIGHT!! There was a bird screeching in the background and every time it would screech she would say something to try to block it out. The whole time I was on the phone, I was debating on whether or not to tell her I knew she was lying or just wait until she was sober and tell her I knew the truth. I chose to wait. I don't even know her. I guess I never did. I looked up an alanon meeting for tomorrow and I am going. I just don't know how I'm supposed to react to all of this, but I'm sure going to figure that out. I've read some of the posts and there's a lot of great advice. I can't wait to find some relief! Thanks for letting me purge.

Kelly

Lorelai

Kelly -
Welcome to SR. I'm glad you're going to AlAnon and I'm glad you're here with us. It will get better.
Hugs - L

Gabe

Hey Kelly,
Welcome to Sober Recovery. I'm glad you found us.
Good for you for seeking help for yourself in Alanon.
This is a family disease.
Hope you stick around.
Gabe

Kelbell

Thanks to Gabe and Lorelai for the quick response. I talk to my sister this morning, it didn't go too well, but I didn't expect that it would. I told her that I knew she had been drinking, she just got defensive. The jest of the conversation was that she had had a few drinks and that she wasn't trying to hide the fact that she was not at home. She said that she had fallen asleep at a friends and was going to go home and go to bed. She tried to guilt me with ruining her 2 days of having a nice time, but I didn't own it. She told me that I didn't know what all she was going through and I was making assumptions. I told her that she had told me that she had a drinking problem and asked her if it was true. She said yes and I told her, that was enough to warrent my concern. We just went on and on. It wasn't very productive, but I got to say somethings. She tried to tell me that it was just the way she was, that she was just different than me, had a different personality. I told her that a person that cuts themselves would never convince me that their cutting was just a difference in our personalities. I told her that if she is looking for someone to listen to her when she was in crisis and then just forget about her when she claiming to be fine, that I was not that person. It was just so sad. She is ten years younger than me and she is my only sibling. My parents are taking her on a Christian cruise to Alaska at the end of the month. They have already put it in her ear that she needs to decide whether or not she' s coming home with them when they get back. She doesn't know yet that if she chooses to stay where she is living that there will be no more help from them. If she wants to come home and get help that they will support that. I don't think she is ready and I don't think they expect her to come home, either. Oh well, we'll see...
Thanks, Kelly

KelKel

Hi KelBell...

I am glad you found SoberRecovery. There is alot of support and information for just about anything that ail's you.
The Al-Anon forums would be a good place to start.

My name is Kellie as well, only I am the older sister and I am the alcoholic in the family. My family calles me Bell, among other things...
It is good for me to be reminded what addicts put their families through.
It is insidious, this thing called addiction, no matter what the drug.

But I can't dwell in the past, only long enough to remember the horrible reality of it all, then I am outta' there.
Today I am humble and grateful to be sober and available to share in life.

Hope you stick around...

cajunbaby

Kelly,
Hi, my name is Shannon and I am a substance abuse counselor where I live. I am also a recovering addict. Please remember one thing about your sister and her illness, DONT TAKE WHAT SHE SAYS PERSONALLY!! Addicts tend to blame everyone but themselves for the trouble they get into. The only way for your sister to get any help, is to hit her own rock bottom..Thank God she has a family that can pray for her and love her...She is in my prayers, along with you and your family.. this is just the beginning.. Cajunbaby

Kelbell

Wow!! I am so glad I wrote into this forum. There was something someone said in reply to my post and it confused me just a bit... am I on the right forum? Thanks so much for the replies, it's really nice to check on here and have a supportive response. Kelly