iSPAZ

Her inability to validate your concern and turn it onto you as your fault is textbook. I think you have dodged a bullet. It ALWAYS progresses.

fairlyuncertain

You're on the codependent merry-go-round. You looked at your own feelings and experiences, trusted that something felt wrong TO YOU, and discussed it with your girlfriend.
That is healthy! Good for you! But...
An alcoholic will never validate your feelings, suspicions, gut instinct. They will make you doubt your own judgement, feel like YOU caused a bad result that you have to fix. You 'made' her break up with you, somehow, but if you had done things 'right' she would have reacted in a normal way to your healthy conversation--so you must be wrong. Right?

Is your head tied in knots yet? This is the kind of insanity alcoholics subject people to. Pat yourself on the back, say a prayer for her well-being, and move on.

Rosiepetal

You did the right thing.
Ask yourself this:
Do you want to be in a relationship with someone who has that lengthy list you posted.
Stick to your boundary, it's healthy & move on.

CarryThatWeight

Wow, this is right on! Considerthis, what fairlyuncertain has described is the last year of my life with a recovering alcoholic. He's not even drinking, but nothing was ever his fault. It was always mine. And I took that blame. I did everything I could to be what he wanted--because I too, am on the codependent merry-go-round--and I can tell you, it's never enough. I was never good enough. I wish you would really read what all the people here who have been through this are telling you and stop blaming yourself. Guess what? Alcoholism isn't really about drinking. The drinking is just a symptom for a disease of which there are many, many devastating symptoms. You dodged a bullet, my friend. Dust yourself off, give yourself time to heal, and move on. I highly recommend Al Anon, because it's helping me.