POAndrea

The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. Believe it when you've seen it.

And at some point, does it really matter whether you use the label "alcoholic" or not? Look at the behaviors. Do you like them or not? (And yes, you DO have a right to an opinion here.) Are they hurtful or harmful to you? Do they continue even after you've communicated they are unacceptable to you? If you don't like a behavior, that's probably a problem. If he doesn't care or won't honor your needs, wishes, and boundaries regarding that behavior, that's DEFINITELY a problem, alcoholic or not.

littlesister1

Been down the path 50000 times and you think he ISNT an alcoholic

The clue phone is ringing

Wisconsin

His feelings are, of course, HIS responsibility. Not yours. If he is hurting, he knows what needs to be done to fix that hurt. And by golly...if I wanted someone back after I had hurt them, the LAST thing I would do would be to "do everything to make that person feel bad." But of course, our qualifiers are very sick, and generally not capable of that kind of empathetic and rational behavior.