Update - not so sad.
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 485
Update - not so sad.
I last posted a really depressing message on Mother's Day. Just wanted to update and express some positivity.
While I've had some down days, I am actually really doing well with the separation. AH is shockingly keeping his stuff together so far. He has been there for the boys every time he said he would be and keeping the house together. He has been doing his share of taking care of them and not causing any drama in that area. He gets his brain scan results back Monday, so I'm curious to see what it says. We will know if he needs surgery or not.
I started exercising again. Broke myself in with a 3-mile jog the other night. I was so sore! But it felt really good. I also had a realization the other night that there are a million possibilities out there for me. Starting school in two weeks. I'm just enjoying the feeling of not knowing what's around the corner for me.
Leaving was the best thing I could have done, for all of us. I am no longer at the mercy of someone else - I don't have to worry that he's going to decide to go on a bender and mess up my night. It's SO MUCH better.
While I've had some down days, I am actually really doing well with the separation. AH is shockingly keeping his stuff together so far. He has been there for the boys every time he said he would be and keeping the house together. He has been doing his share of taking care of them and not causing any drama in that area. He gets his brain scan results back Monday, so I'm curious to see what it says. We will know if he needs surgery or not.
I started exercising again. Broke myself in with a 3-mile jog the other night. I was so sore! But it felt really good. I also had a realization the other night that there are a million possibilities out there for me. Starting school in two weeks. I'm just enjoying the feeling of not knowing what's around the corner for me.
Leaving was the best thing I could have done, for all of us. I am no longer at the mercy of someone else - I don't have to worry that he's going to decide to go on a bender and mess up my night. It's SO MUCH better.
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,281
I'm so happy for you, Emmy! 
On the not so good days, remember baby steps and easy does it. You're doing so well!!
Has your husband looked into getting individual counseling for himself? I hope all goes well with his tests, whichever way that may be. If surgery is necessary, maybe that's where he'll find a way to reach out for help or accept it. No matter what happens with all of that, it's immensely inspiring to see the progress you're making in your own life.
How are your boys doing?
On the not so good days, remember baby steps and easy does it. You're doing so well!!
Has your husband looked into getting individual counseling for himself? I hope all goes well with his tests, whichever way that may be. If surgery is necessary, maybe that's where he'll find a way to reach out for help or accept it. No matter what happens with all of that, it's immensely inspiring to see the progress you're making in your own life.
How are your boys doing?
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: somewhere south
Posts: 510
Yah Emmy! Glad to hear you are feeling more positive about things Its totally normal to have some down days. We all do. Good luck figuring out what the future holds. The possibilities are endless!
Its totally normal to have some down days. We all do. Good luck figuring out what the future holds. The possibilities are endless!
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 2,899
Excellent news! 
Me too. Not so long ago, opportunity seemed very far away from me. Lately it seems like I have the choice of several viable options, and the peace of mind to choose any of them.
I really believe in the effects of regular exercise. I'm fat and (early) middle aged, but I just added running to my exercise routine along with biking. I don't feel right and good in my own skin unless I'm active now. I haven't lost any weight, but I'm getting all kind of interesting muscles. Hallelujah for better weather.
I'm just enjoying the feeling of not knowing what's around the corner for me.
I really believe in the effects of regular exercise. I'm fat and (early) middle aged, but I just added running to my exercise routine along with biking. I don't feel right and good in my own skin unless I'm active now. I haven't lost any weight, but I'm getting all kind of interesting muscles. Hallelujah for better weather.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 485
Thanks!!!
As for AH, the doctor thinks that the cyst on his brain may be pushing on sensitive areas, causing him a lot of problems. It's been there a long time, but we didn't think anything of it. It's been getting bigger and the doctors he works with noticed it. He says he is going to start his own counseling after this is dealt with, and hopefully he does. Once he has the test results back, he will know what the next step is.
My boys are doing well. I think the key is that they are still seeing their dad regularly. If anything, I think their relationship with him has improved. AH and I are taking them to a movie in the park tomorrow night. We are trying to do things with them as a family with no fighting involved so that they feel secure. It's really working - I don't really speak to AH other than to discuss the kids, so when I see him, we just keep it really friendly and normal. The boys are happy. I am keeping them active with play dates with their friends and trips to Grandma and Grandpa's.
As for AH, the doctor thinks that the cyst on his brain may be pushing on sensitive areas, causing him a lot of problems. It's been there a long time, but we didn't think anything of it. It's been getting bigger and the doctors he works with noticed it. He says he is going to start his own counseling after this is dealt with, and hopefully he does. Once he has the test results back, he will know what the next step is.
My boys are doing well. I think the key is that they are still seeing their dad regularly. If anything, I think their relationship with him has improved. AH and I are taking them to a movie in the park tomorrow night. We are trying to do things with them as a family with no fighting involved so that they feel secure. It's really working - I don't really speak to AH other than to discuss the kids, so when I see him, we just keep it really friendly and normal. The boys are happy. I am keeping them active with play dates with their friends and trips to Grandma and Grandpa's.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 485
Originally Posted by Florence 
Excellent news!
Me too. Not so long ago, opportunity seemed very far away from me. Lately it seems like I have the choice of several viable options, and the peace of mind to choose any of them.
I really believe in the effects of regular exercise. I'm fat and (early) middle aged, but I just added running to my exercise routine along with biking. I don't feel right and good in my own skin unless I'm active now. I haven't lost any weight, but I'm getting all kind of interesting muscles. Hallelujah for better weather.
Me too. Not so long ago, opportunity seemed very far away from me. Lately it seems like I have the choice of several viable options, and the peace of mind to choose any of them.
I really believe in the effects of regular exercise. I'm fat and (early) middle aged, but I just added running to my exercise routine along with biking. I don't feel right and good in my own skin unless I'm active now. I haven't lost any weight, but I'm getting all kind of interesting muscles. Hallelujah for better weather.
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