Another day for the books
a work in progress
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Cobourg, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 54
Another day for the books
Hubby just capped off a fine day with a phone call an hour ago.
With all the rain we've had here in the past few days we found out our basement is just a tad leaky. Ground water started seeping in yesterday afternoon while I was at my meeting. We thought we had it under control pretty quick and had most of it mopped up before supper. Just before I left for an evening meeting I checked only to find it coming back in again. I told my H and he said he'd clean it up while I was gone, ok, no problem. I went to my late meeting and stayed afterwards to talk, something I've never done before. So when I came home it was late so it was pretty much ask how the basement was - fine - and get ready for bed. My H had a 2 day meeting in Calgary to go to, basically something to give them all to do since they've been off work for so long, and had to leave at 4 am. I got up at 7:30 and got the kids off to school, went to check the basement and found the floor in almost an inch of water. So it's obvious what I've been doing all day. At 10:00 tonight my H calls, a little too boisterous to begin with and asks how I am. Tired, of course and tell him about all the water that's come in. At first he tries to tell me I'm exaggerating, he'd been down to check it at 4. Then he gives me the "Oh well, I'll be home tomorrow and I'll see what I can do" Oh... I forgot my favourite part.... he's trying so hard to moderate his voice that he keeps forgetting what he's saying half way thru a sentence. Then I get the "Well I just finished supper and had a chance to call". Remember this is 10 pm... I asked him how late his meeting ran... and he stumbles a bit... ummm 4 this afternoon. Oh, and you just finished supper? Well... I had supper and sat around with the rest of the guys and watched them drink..... it doesn't really bother me now... they're kinda funny. Ohh... ok, well that's good. (Tomorrow will/ would? have been 4 months sobriety) Then he asks if I want the number where he's staying, kinda moot when you'll be home tomorrow. Well, yeah... love you, I'll talk to... I mean I'll see ya tomorrow night. Love you too, see you tomorrow. Click
Ok, am I looking for trouble because in the past these yearly get togethers have always been for him to get so wasted he sleeps thru the entire second day? My instincts tell me that he was definately drunk tonight, making a credable attempt at covering it, but too distracted to hold a conversation. I know it wasn't because he couldn't hear, there was barely any background noise. I don't know, I guess I just feel sorry for him. I know it's his choice, there's nothing I can do about it, I thought I'd be angry even, but I just feel so sad that he's going thru the motions and still hasn't opened his eyes and heart to his HP. I guess I'll take one last check on the basement and hit the sheets. I'm greatful to have this board to release my feelings on, I feel at peace now, more then I ever did.
HUGS and sweet dreams all
Mysty
With all the rain we've had here in the past few days we found out our basement is just a tad leaky. Ground water started seeping in yesterday afternoon while I was at my meeting. We thought we had it under control pretty quick and had most of it mopped up before supper. Just before I left for an evening meeting I checked only to find it coming back in again. I told my H and he said he'd clean it up while I was gone, ok, no problem. I went to my late meeting and stayed afterwards to talk, something I've never done before. So when I came home it was late so it was pretty much ask how the basement was - fine - and get ready for bed. My H had a 2 day meeting in Calgary to go to, basically something to give them all to do since they've been off work for so long, and had to leave at 4 am. I got up at 7:30 and got the kids off to school, went to check the basement and found the floor in almost an inch of water. So it's obvious what I've been doing all day. At 10:00 tonight my H calls, a little too boisterous to begin with and asks how I am. Tired, of course and tell him about all the water that's come in. At first he tries to tell me I'm exaggerating, he'd been down to check it at 4. Then he gives me the "Oh well, I'll be home tomorrow and I'll see what I can do" Oh... I forgot my favourite part.... he's trying so hard to moderate his voice that he keeps forgetting what he's saying half way thru a sentence. Then I get the "Well I just finished supper and had a chance to call". Remember this is 10 pm... I asked him how late his meeting ran... and he stumbles a bit... ummm 4 this afternoon. Oh, and you just finished supper? Well... I had supper and sat around with the rest of the guys and watched them drink..... it doesn't really bother me now... they're kinda funny. Ohh... ok, well that's good. (Tomorrow will/ would? have been 4 months sobriety) Then he asks if I want the number where he's staying, kinda moot when you'll be home tomorrow. Well, yeah... love you, I'll talk to... I mean I'll see ya tomorrow night. Love you too, see you tomorrow. Click
Ok, am I looking for trouble because in the past these yearly get togethers have always been for him to get so wasted he sleeps thru the entire second day? My instincts tell me that he was definately drunk tonight, making a credable attempt at covering it, but too distracted to hold a conversation. I know it wasn't because he couldn't hear, there was barely any background noise. I don't know, I guess I just feel sorry for him. I know it's his choice, there's nothing I can do about it, I thought I'd be angry even, but I just feel so sad that he's going thru the motions and still hasn't opened his eyes and heart to his HP. I guess I'll take one last check on the basement and hit the sheets. I'm greatful to have this board to release my feelings on, I feel at peace now, more then I ever did.
HUGS and sweet dreams all
Mysty
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Mysty,
I saw on the news how much rain you have been getting out there. Hope you place is okay.
You seem to have a good attitude about what is happening. Good for you.
Disappointments seem to tap us on the shoulder far too often, but once we learn how to deal with them and keep ourselves okay, it gets a little better.
Hang in there.
Hugs
I saw on the news how much rain you have been getting out there. Hope you place is okay.
You seem to have a good attitude about what is happening. Good for you.
Disappointments seem to tap us on the shoulder far too often, but once we learn how to deal with them and keep ourselves okay, it gets a little better.
Hang in there.
Hugs
a work in progress
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Cobourg, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 54
Thanks Ann, I'm doing fine here, a little ground seepage never hurt anyone. I struggled thru the flood we had here in '95, living next to the river, hubby away at work and the two oldest were 2 1/2 and 5. I'd been evacuated for 2 days before hubby called to check in on us. Then boasted about suntanning on the beach after work where he was. Ain't he a sweetie 
But seriously, our river is rising fast, I no longer live by it, and one town to the east has been completely flooded, another one starting to go under. Please add the residents to your prayers, they need all the help they can get.
HUGS,
Mysty
BTW... don't mean to cross-post, but WTG!! on the new job! Congrats Ann!
But seriously, our river is rising fast, I no longer live by it, and one town to the east has been completely flooded, another one starting to go under. Please add the residents to your prayers, they need all the help they can get.HUGS,
Mysty
BTW... don't mean to cross-post, but WTG!! on the new job! Congrats Ann!
Grace Under Fire
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Another world
Posts: 536
Hi Mysty,
Just wanted you to know you and the
residents are in my prayers tonight!
And I hope everything works out with
your H, I know you're disappointed.
Here is something I have written in my
"wisdom journal" that I have to read
sometimes over and over.
"Expectations are premeditated resent-
ments. If we expect nothing of other
people we are seldom disappointed. When
we receive something, it is a gift."
And another one,
"Positive thinking is simply reacting
positively to a negative situation."
Just thought I would share!
Take care Mysty,
Hugs,
Just wanted you to know you and the
residents are in my prayers tonight!
And I hope everything works out with
your H, I know you're disappointed.
Here is something I have written in my
"wisdom journal" that I have to read
sometimes over and over.
"Expectations are premeditated resent-
ments. If we expect nothing of other
people we are seldom disappointed. When
we receive something, it is a gift."
And another one,
"Positive thinking is simply reacting
positively to a negative situation."
Just thought I would share!
Take care Mysty,
Hugs,
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Mysty - hope you don't mind but I am going to post a prayer request on CIR. I am praying that you will be kept safe from the "real" storm, and am hoping the rains let up soon.
And Josie - I love your quote about "expectations"
That is so true, we often expect something from someone who has nothing to give, and then are disappointed when we receive nothing.
Hugs to you both
Ann
And Josie - I love your quote about "expectations"
That is so true, we often expect something from someone who has nothing to give, and then are disappointed when we receive nothing.
Hugs to you both
Ann
a work in progress
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Cobourg, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 54
Goodmorning all,
Just thought I'd update you on the battle of the basement....a fresh battle has commenced this morning, but I'm out to win the war. LOL Maybe I should have left it alone so the duck could have a pond all to himself? Nah... it might attract more ducks and I only have room for one(barely). I got thinking of this this morning, I wonder if my HP had something to do with flooding the basement. I know if I didn't have something to keep me occupied yesterday I would have obsessed about my A and probably flew off the handle at him when he finally called. Instead I was calm, a little upset with having to deal with a crisis on my own again, and in a better frame of mind to accept that whatever he had done, it was his own choice. Nothing was ruined beyond repair, miraculously the washer, dryer and deep freeze were left high and dry. So all is well, just some busy work for me to do to sponge up the little that came in over the night.
Josie - thanks for the prayers and the words of wisdom. It sounds familiar.... Melody, I think?
Probably why I don't feel very disappointed, life goes on and each day is brand new. Live it and enjoy it.
Ann - Thanks for the post on the CIR board. It's already worked it's magic, my neighbour (the only one with a dry basement in a 6 house radius) just came over to see if I needed help. He's tracking down a working wet/dry vac for me. Even more importantly.... the sun is shining!!!! <img border="0" alt="[Supercool]" title="" src="graemlins/../graemlins/dj.gif" />
Take care all,
HUGS and sunshine
Mysty
Just thought I'd update you on the battle of the basement....a fresh battle has commenced this morning, but I'm out to win the war. LOL Maybe I should have left it alone so the duck could have a pond all to himself? Nah... it might attract more ducks and I only have room for one(barely). I got thinking of this this morning, I wonder if my HP had something to do with flooding the basement. I know if I didn't have something to keep me occupied yesterday I would have obsessed about my A and probably flew off the handle at him when he finally called. Instead I was calm, a little upset with having to deal with a crisis on my own again, and in a better frame of mind to accept that whatever he had done, it was his own choice. Nothing was ruined beyond repair, miraculously the washer, dryer and deep freeze were left high and dry. So all is well, just some busy work for me to do to sponge up the little that came in over the night.
Josie - thanks for the prayers and the words of wisdom. It sounds familiar.... Melody, I think?
Probably why I don't feel very disappointed, life goes on and each day is brand new. Live it and enjoy it.
Ann - Thanks for the post on the CIR board. It's already worked it's magic, my neighbour (the only one with a dry basement in a 6 house radius) just came over to see if I needed help. He's tracking down a working wet/dry vac for me. Even more importantly.... the sun is shining!!!! <img border="0" alt="[Supercool]" title="" src="graemlins/../graemlins/dj.gif" />
Take care all,
HUGS and sunshine
Mysty
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
<img border="0" alt="[Supercool]" title="" src="graemlins/../graemlins/dj.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Supercool]" title="" src="graemlins/../graemlins/dj.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Supercool]" title="" src="graemlins/../graemlins/dj.gif" />
"Let The Sun Shine...Let The Sun Shine..the Suuunn Shine In"
"On the Sunny side of the street..."
"You are my sunshine.."
"Here comes the sun, doot n da da..."
You gotta believe in the power of prayer!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />
Hugs
"Let The Sun Shine...Let The Sun Shine..the Suuunn Shine In"
"On the Sunny side of the street..."
"You are my sunshine.."
"Here comes the sun, doot n da da..."
You gotta believe in the power of prayer!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />
Hugs
Grace Under Fire
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Another world
Posts: 536
Hi Mysty,
Prayer works, and you have a great
attitude! I'm not sure where this
quote came from, I used to be on another
website and this wonderful gal would
post these priceless "wisdom gems" every
day. I will share more later.
Hugs
Prayer works, and you have a great
attitude! I'm not sure where this
quote came from, I used to be on another
website and this wonderful gal would
post these priceless "wisdom gems" every
day. I will share more later.
Hugs
a work in progress
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Cobourg, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 54
My A got home just after 6 tonight... and I just wanted to let you know, he wasn't drinking... he was doing coke <img border="0" alt="[Mad!]" title="" src="graemlins/../graemlins/mad3.gif" /> Non-stop nose and too much energy to keep still. I didn't say anything to him, didn't question him at all. By the time we'd had supper, my daughter's friend went home, hubby picked up his sponser and took him to a meeting. Didn't go himself, just played taxi for his sponsor. He had so much energy, but couldn't get motivated to start hauling things out of the basement. I left the two oldest at home and took him for a brisk walk up and down the coulee's. Nose dripping like crazy, huffing and puffing, blaming everything from sinuses to faulty airconditioning at the meeting. We walked for an hour and he decided to cut the grass. So I let him, by the time he was done the kids were getting ready for bed. Our oldest sleeps in the basement, but has moved to the futon in the baby's room since the water came in. Her dad must have told her to go back to the basement, because she complained of the fan going and windows being open. He blew up at her and told her too f***ing bad, live with it and get the hell to bed. I'm putting it nicely, he actually said more. I caught this and stopped him and politely told him it was a health hazard and she wasn't sleeping there. I got things cooled off and helped my daughter fix things up again, the bedroom is crowded with the original furniture and stuff I'd put there from the basement. The oldest two went to bed, baby and I wide awake playing on the livingroom floor with hubby. Must have finally caught up to him, because he's now out cold, slumped against the couch. God give me the strength to get out of here. I think I've found my breaking point.
I'll be up for a while, hope everyone else is having a better night.
Mysty
I'll be up for a while, hope everyone else is having a better night.
Mysty
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Mysty
As Smoke often says...make a plan. Plan what you would do if he disappeared off the face of the earth tomorrow. Plan what you would do if you left. If you had to go, you could figure out a way to survive and it would have to be better than living the life you are living.
Don't stay because of the kids. The kids are not stupid and will figure him out, if they haven't already. I grew up fatherless (my dad died when I was 6) and I wouldn't wish this on any child, but
it would prabably be better than having an addict for a father who speaks like he does to his children. They are probably afraid of him, and this will affect them sooner or later.
So make a plan. It doesn't mean you have to use it, but it means you have a plan in place to survive if you do need it.
I will say a prayer for you and your family, and as surely as God stopped the rain, he is there watching over you right now.
Hugs
As Smoke often says...make a plan. Plan what you would do if he disappeared off the face of the earth tomorrow. Plan what you would do if you left. If you had to go, you could figure out a way to survive and it would have to be better than living the life you are living.
Don't stay because of the kids. The kids are not stupid and will figure him out, if they haven't already. I grew up fatherless (my dad died when I was 6) and I wouldn't wish this on any child, but
it would prabably be better than having an addict for a father who speaks like he does to his children. They are probably afraid of him, and this will affect them sooner or later.
So make a plan. It doesn't mean you have to use it, but it means you have a plan in place to survive if you do need it.
I will say a prayer for you and your family, and as surely as God stopped the rain, he is there watching over you right now.
Hugs
a work in progress
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Cobourg, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 54
Thanks for the support all. I've been busy cleaning up the aftermath of the water in the basement. I don't know why I thought it would be easier with my A's help... everytime I'd get him started and get busy myself I'd turn around to find him either watching tv or outside chatting with the neighbour. Oh well... I'm almost done now, just got everything disinfected and most of the boxes brought back in.
Ann - I've had a plan since february, which is to move back home to my family in Ontario. The only reason I didn't go at that time was because I fell into the "I'm never going to see my kids again, feel sorry for me, pity party" trap. Plus my A finally admitted his drinking problem and started going to AA, so I thought there might still be a chance.
Time to go and hopefully get it finished today.
HUGS
Mysty
~~~~~~~ Living - One day at a time ~~~~~~~
Ann - I've had a plan since february, which is to move back home to my family in Ontario. The only reason I didn't go at that time was because I fell into the "I'm never going to see my kids again, feel sorry for me, pity party" trap. Plus my A finally admitted his drinking problem and started going to AA, so I thought there might still be a chance.
Time to go and hopefully get it finished today.
HUGS
Mysty
~~~~~~~ Living - One day at a time ~~~~~~~
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Mysty
Hope things are a little drier and safer for you now. I know it is difficult for you, going through this just now. And I know that leaving your children is probably not an option. But I think you should have a plan, that includes your children, should things get intolerable for you there. Doesn't mean you have to use it, it means you have an escape if you need it.
Keep us posted. We care.
Hugs
Hope things are a little drier and safer for you now. I know it is difficult for you, going through this just now. And I know that leaving your children is probably not an option. But I think you should have a plan, that includes your children, should things get intolerable for you there. Doesn't mean you have to use it, it means you have an escape if you need it.
Keep us posted. We care.
Hugs
a work in progress
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Cobourg, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 54
Hi Ann,
Sorry if I wasn't clear, my kids ARE definately coming with me. I meant the little pity party my A was having when I told him. No one and nothing will ever induce me to leave my kids, ever, period! My plan is in effect, when and if I need it. For now I will do the best I can and leave the rest in His hands.
Love and Hugs
Mysty
Sorry if I wasn't clear, my kids ARE definately coming with me. I meant the little pity party my A was having when I told him. No one and nothing will ever induce me to leave my kids, ever, period! My plan is in effect, when and if I need it. For now I will do the best I can and leave the rest in His hands.
Love and Hugs
Mysty
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