christinastar10

So at mediation today. We didn't come to an agreement. We were on totally different pages. So it's all up to the judge next week. I'm really nervous about it.

Mango blast

Have you been going to Alanon? It's a great place to be for self healing. I'd suggest as many meetings as you can fit in this week, and/or Celebrate Recovery. Being around others, concentrating on yourself. Everything that helps with your recovery will help you be stronger for your son and the upcoming hearing. Sending prayers and good wishes your way.


btw- stepping through the door is the hardest part. Good people there.

Thumper

I am for sure a trigger for my ex - just as much as he was for me. Probably still am for all I know. I know he could trigger weird stuff in me long after our divorce.

I'm sorry

FeelingGreat

Sorry about the mediation Christina. At least it gave you both a window into each others thoughts.
You have a difficult road ahead with JG, so I really hope he can learn to co-parent in a constructive way.
Sending best wishes your way.

Stung

What a day. I'm keeping you in my prayers that the judge does what is best for you and your son. Hugs, mama.

Seren

I hope all goes well with the judge next week, christina. I'm sorry to hear about the mediation!

christinastar10

Now XABF has new demands.

XABF no longer wants to see me, text me, or call me. He only wants to communicate via email.
To me this a bit extreme since we only text each other now. What's next he's going to file a retaining order against me?

hopeful4

It is just a form of manipulation. If he cannot print off texts he may be doing it so he can store the emails.

Either way, give it up and hand it to God. I hope that everything w/the Judge goes well.

XXX

Thumper

I had that email set up with my ex and it was nice. Consider it a gift The only thing discussed was child related - also a gift.

Respect boundaries - his and yours. It will have a very positive impact even though there is admittedly a learning curve and some anxiety/turmoil with it at first.

Don't get to caught up in decisions he is making. I know it is hard but work to let that go. He is either drinking or in early recovery and either way - his actions aren't going to make much sense. Just gotta focus on yourself at this point.

Croissant

Have you considered that your sons father may be on the Autism spectrum?

christinastar10

Thanks for all the input everyone. I do take all of your opinions into consideration.

I just have to remind myself of my blessings and try to keep moving forward.

Mango blast

Going no contact can be healthy while working on recovery, for both parties. Email contact with a child involved can help give a bit of space. I've seen that advice given many times here, and have given it myself. This isn't a lifetime thing. It's a tool to help for a while. Baby steps. One day at a time.

Ever been wrapped up on what he thinks? What's going on with him? Well, it's probably the same way for him thinking of you. I've found that when this happens with my husband and I, it's really not healthy! Heading to meetings and doing more self work seems to help a lot with this.

Each time your XABF talks to you and texts you, it's instantly pulling him back in and away from where his attention needs to be right now.... on learning how to live sober. If sobriety was easy, there wouldn't be so many people who relapse. It's good if he's putting all his time and effort into it. He really does need to learn how to fight for his life. Alcoholism/addiction will do everything it can to not let him go. It will LIE to him, it will seem like his best friend, it will tell him again and again throughout his life that it is the ANSWER to solve any crisis and the FRIEND with which to celebrate. He will actively need to be working against that.

Some people conquer their addiction seemingly easily. That is the minority. Many more will think they've conquered it and then later be sucked right back into it.